The one next door

Chapter 8

Dancing with Bellamy was incredibly funny, and Clarke can't help but smile just thinking about it. But now the dancing is over, and they're talking next to a palm tree. Bellamy has a drink on his hand, while Clarke has just finished hers; she feels a little dizzy, but she hasn't drink enough to get drunk. Not again.
Clarke stares at Bellamy, who is now watching the stars. Goddamn it — she thinks — Why is it that every time I have a couple of drinks I find him so incredibly hot? She wants to grab his shirt and tug from him until their lips meet. But she knows that, no matter how badly she wants to do it, she can't. He's her best friend, and that's all he's ever going to be. But damn it, he's hot. But he's also nice, tender, and has such a big heart. Why can't she just look away and stop thinking about him? Damn hormones.
Bellamy looks down at her and Clarke looks away as fast as 'Flash', as if she was about to get caught committing a sin. Why does she feel so dirty, when she was just looking at her best friend? Oh yeah, because he's her best friend who she desperately wants to kiss. "What about your guy?" Bellamy asks, interested.

At first Clarke frowns a little, confused. But then she remembers: Finn. Bellamy makes her feel so good that she had completely forgotten about him. She sighs, and looks at the stars like Bellamy was doing before. They're brighting in a special way tonight, and now she understands why Bellamy was so focused on them. They kind of remind her of his freckles... he has an starry sky drawn in the length of his body and he doesn't even realize it, the beauty he holds.  In fact, he had told Clarke plenty of times how he doesn't like having so many freckles; and she always tells him how stupid he is, of course. To her, Bellamy's freckles are the cutest thing. He's has an incredibly body and a sexy face that make him hot; irresistible, even. But then he has the freckles, and they give him a soft touch. He's the perfect combination between hot and cute.  And it's driving her a little crazy. She shakes her head, trying to push those thoughts away. He asked something, and she has to answer... but she was so drown thinking about him that she can't seem to remember what he was talking about.
Oh — she thinks — Finn. "He's not paying attention to me. He didn't even noticed me tonight." She says, a little disappointed. Not because of Finn, but because Bellamy doesn't mind the possibility of her dating him in the future; he's even interested. And god, why the hell does she care so much? Of course he doesn't mind, because she's his best friend. She can't expect him to be jealous, to care in that way. But damn, she wants him to be... only a little. Not in a romantic way, of course — she tells to herself.  She wants him to be afraid of losing her. Like she was when he started freshman year, like she was when he dated Mel... like she's every day, knowing how hot and nice he is, how easy it can be for anyone to fall for him. And God, she wishes he could just stop staring at her right now, before she loses the little self-control she has left. She looks at him.

"His loss." Bellamy says shrugging, and then looking away. He says it with such a sincerity in his voice, and she knows he really thinks she is worth that much. Because he is the only one who has always seen past her defects, who is always making sure that she knows how incredible she is. And damn it, this idiot has bought her a dog. A fucking dog. With his own damn money. She can't take this anymore. Suddenly, Clarke feels a presence and looks away to find Finn walking. She gasps. This is her chance, this might be the only opportunity she'll ever have. He'll probably think that she's doing what she's about to do just to make Finn jealous, and not because she's a weirdo who desperately wants to feel his lips on hers. She takes a deep breath, turns around to face Bellamy, looks up at him, "Forgive me for this." She says, afraid of what's she's going to do next. And she tries to convince herself not to do this, but then he looks at her in the eyes and it's too late. He frowns, confused. And before he could even ask what the hell was she talking about, she curls her fingers in his shirt, tugs from him, and kisses him. Finally — she thinks.
She is about to pull away, disappointed, until she feels Bellamy give in. She can hear his drink fall and spill all over the sand, then he grabs her by the waist and brings her so close to him. So. Damn. Close. And she wishes she could be even closer to him, but she can't. She feels Bellamy's hands move from her waist to her shoulders, then up her neck and around her jaw. She shivers a little at his touch, god. It's like he wants to touch her all over. And she wonders if maybe, just maybe, he wants this as much as she does. And she doesn't know about him, but she really feels a need to touch him. To feel him in her arms.
She traces a path from his shirt to his hair, and she curls them there. A groan escapes from her mouth and she doesn't even have time to feel embarrassed about it. She wants to drown on this moment.
Without separating their lips, Bellamy drives her to the palm tree until her back is touching it. And he kisses her even harder now. And so does she; so desperately. So needy. Bellamy kisses the mole above her upper lip, the tip of her nose... damn it Bellamy — she thinks. This is making her lose it completely. Then he goes back to her mouth and she kisses him like this was the last time, because it is. She knows that this is wrong, and that the second she pulls apart this is over. But it feels so good, so right, even though it isn't right. She probably shouldn't be kissing her best friend like this. But she thinks about his voice, his freckles, his arms, his smile... fuck. How can something feel so incredibly good and be so wrong at the same time? She can't stop. She knows she has to pull apart, she has to go back to reality... but she just doesn't feel like taking her hands out of him, not ever. And, even if she wanted to, she knows she wouldn't be capable of doing so. Clarke has lost complete control over her body and she doesn't mind, not even a little. And it doesn't seem like Bellamy cares neither.  Suddenly she's scared, because she knows this is going to end, and how the hell is she supposed to forget how his lips feel in hers? After a kiss like this. So genuine. So intense. So hot. He tastes like joy, and joy tastes better in his mouth.
She's so incredibly immersed in this kiss that it scares the hell out of her. Because tomorrow this is going to be past, this is going to be one more of their anecdotes. Just that.
She has kissed other guys before, but none of them felt like him. Those kisses were all so empty and with such a lack of emotions. And she doesn't know why this one feels so different, so good... maybe is because the other guys were just interested in her body, in touching her boobs and all that shit. But she knows Bellamy doesn't give a fuck about her body, even though she knows he finds her hot. Bellamy is kissing Clarke, not just her body, and  knowing that feels so good. Bellamy caresses her cheek with his thumb and strokes her head, causing Clarke to come back to reality. Her eyes widen as she pulls apart. She stares at him, trying to read in his face his thoughts about what has just happened. But Bellamy just stares at her with a look she can't decipher and he licks his lips. Fuck, not again Clarke. Don't look at his lips. You have to be strong — she says to herself. She shakes her head, trying to forget about the kiss, and looks away. Her eyes move from the sea, to the sand, to the moon, and then to the people that was still dancing, all of this so she wouldn't look at him. Because she can't, not now.
Bellamy sighs and she freezes in place, her heart beating so fast that she thinks is going to scape from her chest, "Damn, Griffin." He says. That's it. She's dead.  Goodbye cruel world — she thinks. Bellamy looks at her, and probably notices how nervous she's right now. "I didn't know you had that in you, I'm impressed." He pauses, a little smirk grows in his face. But it's not his usual smirk, is not that wide. "I'm sure Finn knows what he's missing now." He adds.