Lemon Boy and Me - Tyrus Fanfic

Chapter 7: Secrets

Amber was shocked that Cyrus thought TJ liked Reed. Especially surprised when Cyrus mentioned how TJ looked at Reed - with the least amount of romantic attraction possible. Sure, TJ might have found Reed to be cute, but the look Cyrus seemed to be referring to was reserved for Cyrus and only Cyrus. Amber face palmed mentally.  Cyrus could sometimes be as oblivious as Jonah. 

Even without seeing how TJ looked at Cyrus so lovingly, Amber would have known he had a crush on Cyrus. He had told her who he liked - he told her everything - and it was the boy standing in front of her.

"How do you know that?" Cyrus seemed skeptical of her statement, but also perked up a bit at the same time.

Amber rubbed her temples. She knew TJ wouldn't want Cyrus to know that he liked him, and would never trust her again if she spilled his secret. "He's straight," she lied, and felt a pinch of guilt, but ignored it. She was doing the right thing.

Cyrus didn't even try to mask his face falling and his shoulders slumping. Amber noticed inevitably, and brushed the hair out of his eyes. She wasn't one for physical affection or comfort, which Cyrus knew, so he smiled at the gesture, despite how small it was. 

"Why don't you go out the back exit? TJ and blondie haven't left yet." she suggested, lifting the backpack he'd left on the floor outside the bathroom door, handing it to him. They headed out and she turned to him.

"I need to get back to work. If you need anything, let me know, okay? I'm always here." 

Cyrus nodded and made his way towards Andi's house. He wanted to talk to her about what had happened.

He hung out at Andi's for a while, watching cheesy romances with her until he realized it wasn't making him feel any better. When he'd showed up at her door, she'd taken one look at his face, pulled him in, and put on "Love Simon". Several movies later, Cyrus told Andi everything that had happened. She nodded sympathetically, holding his hand throughout it, not speaking once until he finished.

"I would have done the same thing, Cy," there was laughter in her eyes, and he chuckled, glad that he had talked about it, since that always helped him feel better. 

Goodbyes were exchanged, and at home, Cyrus unpacked his backpack and sat at his desk. He completed several pages of homework, and upon realizing it was already 11:00, much later than he'd ever stayed up, he shut his binder and went to switch off his desk lamp. As he reached over, he noticed his journal open to the page with his journal entry from that morning, about his crush on TJ and being mad at Reed. He ripped out the paper and crumpled it in his fist, tossing it behind him. He'd read somewhere that doing that helps deal with anger or sadness. It didn't really do much. 

He put away his journal, switched off the lamp, and crawled under the covers, letting sleep overtake his racing mind.

________________

TJ didn't see Cyrus at school on Monday, the day after the incident at the Spoon, not that he was looking for him or anything. Basketball practice always helped take his mind off of things, so he was relieved when he checked his schedule and saw that there was practice that day.

The rest of the team was already there when he arrived, and he set his gym bag down on the bench, which was pushed against the wall. His team mates greeted him, and he lifted a hand to acknowledge them, his lips lifting slightly with effort. He didn't want to talk. Playing would put his thoughts in another place, a lighter place, so he was eager to get to it as soon as possible.

The coach, who'd been waiting for everyone to show up, whistled to get the team's attention. "Alright, boys, I need to make a quick call, so warm up until I get back. And TJ," hearing his name, TJ's head snapped up, feeling silly for being on his phone while the others were listening, "put that thing down. Your friends won't think you've gone missing if you're unresponsive for an hour and a half." 

TJ turned red and his team mates snickered while the coach walked out. "Yeah, tell your boyfriend to leave you alone!" Rodrick hooted.

"He's not my boyfriend, and he isn't messaging me."

"Oh, really? Let me see about that!" Rodrick smirked, snatching TJ's phone from his hand.

TJ watched in horror as Rodrick tapped on his phone several times, obviously confused. "Wait, where'd it go? Oh, that's the home screen."

"Give it back, Rodrick, now." TJ seethed, anger hiding the fear behind his eyes.

"Hey, what's this app? Wattpad? What's on here?" his thumb continued swiping and pressing various parts of the screen. "Gay smut? The hell?" 

The blood drained from TJ's face. He lunged for the phone, but Rodrick dodged him swiftly. TJ realized it was too late by the disgusted look on Rodrick's face. "What the actual fuck, dude? You really are a fag!"

The rest of the team snickered behind him as he sprinted through the gym doors, not bothering to take his gym bag with him. His coach was walking around the corner as he ran through the school's exit, and he ignored the yelling he heard from where he was trying to get far, far away.

"TJ! Where are you going? Come back here!" 

Hot tears ran down his face and the wind chased them down his cheeks and neck.

After several minutes had passed, the playground came into view, and he didn't slow down until he reached the swing set. Flopping himself on a swing, he dragged his sleeve across his face, not caring who saw him crying. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths, and when he opened his eyes again, there was a little kid standing in front of him. The child looked around six or seven.

"Are you okay?" she asked. 

TJ blinked. "Yes, I am. I'm fine."

The girl frowned. "Doesn't look like it." she took the swing next to him. "It's okay to be upset."

That made TJ smile a little. "I know."

"Would you like to talk about it?" 

"People at school said mean things to me," he told her.

"Why?"

"They found out my deepest, darkest secret." he found that it felt good to talk to a younger person, especially a stranger, because there was no judgement.

"What secret?"

"I like boys." he answered, involuntarily glancing past her, to the few people sprinkled around the playground, afraid someone might hear.

She looked up at him. "Why is that deep and dark? Everyone likes boys. That's why they have friends."

"I don't mean like that. I mean I like boys in a way that... I want to marry one when I'm older." he explained.

The girl thought for a moment. "My dad likes boys like that, too."

"Does he?"

"Yeah. He left me mom because he doesn't like girls like that."

TJ didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Mommy said he's happier this way. She has brown hair and loves yellow.  She said she's happier this way, too, but she still cries about it sometimes. My brother leaves the house when she cries so he doesn't have to listen to her."

TJ was shocked. He felt like he had intruded, and shouldn't have reminded her of such a sad memory. He wanted to leave, but he felt like there was something he should say.

"I have to go now, but I have a question: what's your name?"

"Marianne. But everyone calls me Mary."

"I'm TJ," the older boy offered his hand for a hand shake.

Mary took it. "That's a weird name."

TJ surprised himself by laughing. "It stands for something." 

"What does it stand for?"

"That's another secret I have." he grinned slyly, and started home. He glanced back after several steps, and saw Mary being pushed on the swings by a tall woman with a yellow top and shoulder length brown hair.