Story of J

Chapter 5

As we make it into the store, still full of giggles. We scan through the million options of ice cream selections. After a few minutes of decision making, I decide on a single scoop of cookie dough ice cream and E settles on a double scoop cookies and cream. We get our ice cream after E generously pays for it and after I continuously thank him for doing so. We leave the shop and start walking down the street. Letting our legs take us on an adventure as we start a deep conversation about us and what we like and what we don’t.

“So I take it you are never late to anything”, he stays as we swing our arms back and forth as we walked down a path we found in a nearby park.

I slowly turn my head towards him, but never actually making eye contact and say, “ uh, yeah, I always hate being late. It gives me anxiety when I am. My parents always told me that it's always better to be 5 minutes early than it is to be 15 minutes late.”

I now finally reach my gaze up to his and see him already staring back at me, almost as if he's searching for something. I smile. He smiles back. We go back into our conversation breaking our gaze with one another. We continue walking the path that leads us throughout the park.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. At least it is for me as I can’t get the thought of him knowing that I said I get anxiety when I'm late. Ugh. I'm so dumb. Who in their right mind would say that they have anxiety on their first date?!

Well I might as well get the questions over with. “You're probably wondering why I have anxiety when I'm late. Most people usually do.”

His head snaps over to look at me. “a-ah. Uhm”.

I cut him off by saying, “I partially blame my parents”, i chuckle and continue, my dad always had to be early for everything. He would always leave a half hour before we should be there so we know we weren't late. It was always like that. And I guess it just stuck with me. So when that bell rings for the second time, signaling you that you're late to class, and I am not in the classroom I am supposed to be in. I start to slowly break. I start sweating, then immediately getting chills right after. My heart starts racing. And I just straight up book it to my class in tears that somehow magically always start streaming down my cheeks.”

I looked back up at E, as I make eye contact once again, I quickly realize what I had just told him.

I had just told him one of my many, many problems on a first date!! I am so dumb. My first date ever will most likely be my last. I slowly turn my head back towards the ground, only to have to lightly forced to look back up. Its guided to look back into E's eyes.

He smiles down at me, breathes before saying, “it's fine J. I feel so happy knowing that you trust me with that part of your life. And plus, I get like that too. I don't do well with change. I get so nervous when something new happens. I have routines for everything. And when something doesn't go according to plan in my routine, I freak out. I start pacing, breathing heavy, not being able to think straight. I'm a mess. So please J, don’t feel so bad that you accidentally slipped that you have anxiety. I do to. I know how you feel. It's okay.”

I kept my eyes locked on him as he said those sweet words. I couldn't resist. I hugged him. I hugged him so tightly. And he hugged me back just as tight.

We continue to walk hand in hand and eventually land back at the ice cream parlour. I sadly knew that our date had come to an end. We let go of each others hand, and shortly after, E wrapped me in a big hug. I smiled into his chest as I breathed in his scent. We pulled away. And said our goodbyes as we went into our separate directions.