Story of J

Chapter 9

The rest of the school day felt as if it was eternity. E kept texting me wanting to make sure I was okay, and school was just so boring.

The bell finally rang to allow us to leave this death trap. And I raced out of my class and to my locker, praying that none of the girls will stop me and chat. And hoping that E won't see me. He has already seen me cry and I've told him something that I haven't told anyone before, and I've only know him for a little over 24 hours. This boy does something to me.

I arrived home unnoticed by all three of the girls and by E. I as usual walk into my empty house, make my way through my darla and lonely house, up the stairs and into my bedroom. My safe place. It's the place where I can be me and not have anyone judge me for who I am and who I wish I was.

I make my way to my bed to lie down in it, and my phone buzzes.

E - Can I call u?

I sigh loudly as I think if I should allow.him to call me. Because if he calls me, then he'll want to talk and I don't exactly what to. My brain is battling myself. Part of it wants to have him call and to make everything better, but the other part wants me to say, no, that I don't need his help, that your just calling me out if pity and that I don't need that pity.

I accept defeat and let the side that won so what it wants.

Me - Yeah, yeah u can call

Right after I sent the text, my phone rings. Its E

“Hey”, I greet him quietly, not prepared for his questions and his thoughts of help.and pity.

He softly chuckled into the phone, “I just wanted to check up on you. How was your day. I never got to see you after school.”

“I'm okay.”, I squeaked out,  “you don't need to check up on me. I'm fine. You don't have to worry.”

“J, you just admitted that you've been thinking thoughts that you shouldn't be thinking, not even 4 hours ago. Of course I am going to worry! I may have just met you, but I still care about you”, he loudly exclaimed through the phone.

“Well it doesn't matter that I want to die! No one would miss me! I don't mean anything to anyone E! I am a nobody!”, I shout through the phone now crying, for the second time today.

“You don't matter? No one would miss you? You are a nobody? J, you are so wrong. So so wrong. You matter, you may think that you don't, but you do. And no one would miss you. I would! I will miss you like hell if you leave J. And as you thinking you a nobody. You are dead wrong. You are everything to me J. I haven't known you for long, but you have this personality and attraction that I am just drawn to. So, I would be devastated if you left J. I really would”, E calmly said, as I still cried through my phone. And just listening to those words, is making me cry harder.

“You don't mean it. You don't. You are just saying that to make me feel better. You don't mean any of it”, I sobbed into the phone.

“J. Come on. Calm down. I need you to calm down. You are getting yourself worked up and you can get sick.”, E’s soothing voice rings though my ears.

With his voice still ringing in my ears, my breathing starts to slow and I begin to calm down.

“Thanks E. If you weren't with me right now, I would most likely still be crying my eyes out”, I sniffled slightly as I finally called down.

“I'm glad I was able to help J. If you ever need to talk to me about anything, I'm here. I'm here for you J”, E’s voice echoes through the phone.

“E?”, I ask.

“Yes J”, he sweetly replies.

“Can you come over?”

“Sure J, I'll leave my house now. Just text me the address.”

“Thanks E. I just really need someone with me right now. I'll see you soon.”

“It's not a problem at all J. I'll be there shortly.”

With that, I quickly clean my room, so he doesn't think I live in a pig sty. I wait patiently for his arrival.

A knock is echoed through my house and I automatically know its E. I jump out of bed and race to the door, to only be met with E's smirk that I was instantly drawn to.

“Come in, come in”, I say as I lead him into my house and up to my room.

As we get to my bedroom door, I instantly start thinking about whether or not he actually cares about me. Why is he even here? Why does he say he cares about me? What if he doesn't? Should I actually trust him? Why is he even being nice to me?

I am snapped out of my train of thought by E gently shaking me.

“Hey, hey J. Tell me what's going on in your head. Where did you just go?”

“Hmm?”

“Oh, nowhere. I went nowhere. I just zoned out for a bit”, I quickly let out, “let's just go in and lay on my bed.”

As we enter my room, E grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers, making our way to my bed.

Laying in bed as E just holds me, I let my mind clear. All of the thoughts and memories that are all so negative and ways bring me down, just leave my head. All due to some guy.

I look up from E’s chest and smile up at him. Noticing how he is sleeping is the cutest thing I've ever seen. I slipped a blanket over us careful to awaken the sleeping boy next to me and cuddle back up to him, letting the warmth of E help me fall asleep.