Frerard: I'm Not Afraid To Keep On Living

Chapter 2: This Is How I Disappear

Gerard's POV:

Well I made it through the first week and so did mom, except she brought home yet another guy. I really don't feel like dealing with her shit when I can barely deal with mine. So I decide to go get some fresh air.

Most people that I see while I walk down our street to a nearby park state at me in my all black outfit in this 90 degree weather but, I'm used to it. While I stare across the street to see a man beating another woman, I bump into someone.

"I'm sorry." I immediately say. I look down to see a girl with reddish-brown hair with hazel eyes laughing and extending a hand to be helped up. So, I help.

"No, it's my fault I was trying to change the song on this stupid thing," she shows me an old iPod nano, "anyways, are you new? I haven't seen you around before..."

I was very surprised at the smile she had plastered on her face even though she was wearing all black like me, "Umm, yeah. I just moved here a few weeks ago..."

"Oh so that means you go to the high school around here?"

"Yeah. Do you?" She looks young enough, even though her black lipstick says otherwise.

"Yep! Maybe we'll see each other round more! Bye!!!!" She scurries off in a hurry.... She's really weird. Oh well I guess I make friends in a weird way, better than not making them at all.

*At the park*

I decide to go sit on the swings, and I see a kid come up next to me.

"Hey, mister, are you okay?" Her cute little voice rings in my ear slowly making me feel guilty for wanting to tell her to go away. I look at her again, she's still staring and I can't not answer her, she's too adorable with her jet black hair in waves at her shoulders and that red dress...

"Well, pretty lady," at this she giggles, and I almost want to laugh too but, instead I smile and say, "yes, I believe I am okay, do you need help onto the swing?"

"Yesh, please." Her dark brown eyes look at me, like I'm the greatest person in the entire world, and I can't help but, feel.... Okay. I set her up on the swing and start to count:

"1....2...3.... Go!" Gave her a big push and she laughed, like a bird tweet, almost, so I told her that she should be named Birdy, since that seems appropriate for a little kid.

"No, daddy says my name is Autumn."

"Well, Autumn, my name's Gerard. It's very nice to meet you!!! And where is your Daddy?" I asked as I pushed her high up into the air

"Yay!" She was so care-free and oblivious to my question because she's just having too much fun as she swung back and forth on that rusty old swing set until...

"AUTUMN?! AUTUMN WHERE ARE YOU?!?!!" A man shouted from the right side of the playground.

"Over here, daddy!" Oh crap. I'm screwed. He's going to yell at me and accuse me of wanting to abduct his child...

"Oh, Autumn, thank goodness you're o- WHO ARE YOU?!??" He yells. I don't know what to do so, I just sit there and look at the Autumn and then back at her dad, expecting her to say something.

"Daddy..."

"No, Autumn I don't want to hear it. We are going now. YOU FREAK. JUST GO DIE ALREADY, AND STOP TRYING TO HURT MY CHILD!" Great. There's that phrase again: Just go die already. I'm pretty sure that everyone in my entire life has said that at one point for one reason or another, now it has no other meaning than exactly what it says...

I look over at him another time to see if he's still giving me the death look but, I see Autumn smiling and waving...

Children. So innocent and oblivious to the actual situation... How I wish to be a kid again, nothing to worry about except for parents yelling at you because they care to much.

I now notice that I'm stumbling down the sidewalk, unable to keep my knees from buckling under me any longer, I give way and succumb to the nothingness...

Because without you, the world around me, and "friends", this is how I disappear.