Falling For Her

Broken

My head started to hurt as the I couldn't stop the tears as the words repeated in my head  I got up going to the dresser throwing everything  as I punched the wall throwing the lamp at the door as I dropped to my knees 

'not again....please... I can't take another one...not another rejection'

I cried harder as I covered my face it hurted so bad as I found myself swallowed in depression as I couldn't move as the words torn me to pieces I got up pacing back and forth 

"I'm nothing without her I can't do this....i want it to stop"

So many thoughts ran through my head as the guilt grew stronger and I felt nothing mattered anymore life is not life I'm broken 

'I need her move on so she can be happy ...I'm making her miserable'

I lookes at the bowl of stuff about her grabing it reading them all

"I hate myself I should die.... But I deserved to live to suffer with this pain"

I love her more than anything I never met anyone who doesn't have to try to look beautiful ahe always does I love the way she talks to the TV or how she bites her lip the way her jaw drops when she is surprised or how she pouncing on me when she miss me I miss the cute way she looked siting on the bed or how she sat on the counter watching me I remember how happy she was about things I give to her or how she smirks back at me I like how she has to crawl on the counter to get to the top shelf or how she goes out the way to make me focus on her I like the way she smiles I like the way she talks or tracing my tattoo on my chest I like the way she looks at me serious when angry or how she hugs me I love when she wraps her tail around mines i like how she not afraid to tell me what she wants I like how determined she is when she feels like she needs to speak up I like her hair and how it goes all over the pillow I love her skin how soft it is I love the way she makes me feel with just being near I like how she so in love with Chinese I love how she so caring I love how she makes cookies for me I love how she sounds when she growls I love how lovely her voice sounds when I'm kissing her neck or the way her body responds to fine how her chest go up in down in her sleep how she lays on my chest I love her giggle when she sees something funny I like how she gets jealous as turns her back on me I love when she gets embarresed she blushed deep read or how she looks when she is reading a book I like the way she touches my hand or the way she dances I like how she keeps trying and never give up and I love the way she looks in the shower I love the way how cute her face was when she was hit by soap I love how protective she is and last but not least I love her feet and hands I love everything about her I found myself thinking of small details her as I cried more 

"I love her....."

I found myself knowing I can't have her as I looked at the ceiling 

'I'm sorry.....'