The Girl in Her Head

chapter 1

I didn't smile at the lady who just walked into the room with me. She was old and unpleasant to look at. Not to mention I didn't want to be here... again.

"Remind me why we're here again," the girl asked.

Her name was Maddie. I first heard her when I was in the seventh grade, the year I first went to this damn place.

"Because I listened to you," I responded in my head.

"Don't blame this on me," she commanded, "remember that this was your fault. You are completely worthless and deserve to be here. Why do you think you don't have friends?"

She was right. I've never really had any friends before. Well, I had one, but he wasn't loyal like Maddie. He betrayed me, just like I knew he would. When I lost him, was when I first heard Maddie's voice. That was my first time in the psych hospital.

The old lady opened her mouth to say something before I interrupted her.

"We can just skip the while process. I already know I'm going to be admitted and stay for about a week. Just find me a room."

She looked at me uncomfortably. I really didn't think she was cut out for this job.

"So you've been here before. How many times?" She asked.

I hesitated just a little bit before I answered, "three".

We went through the whole process. I was admitted. I went to the familiar room where they skin checked me, and the nurse knew me by name this time.

"What'd you do this time, Gen?" She asked, like she didn't know. Of course it was Maddie, who told me to try to hurt someone again. I told her anyway.

"You have to remember not to let Maddie get to you," she responded.

She just didn't understand.

When I was stripped down to my under ware she examined my scarred arms and legs.

"New cuts?" She asked me.

I was a little surprised because Maddie promised that no one would notice.

"Yeah," I answered. She marked them on her sketch pad.

We went through the whole process. She asked questions about my overall health and diet restrictions (which I didn't have, but she knew that.)

Finally when we were done, they put me in the room where all the girls were. They all looked at me, and I didn't like it.

There were eleven other girls in the room. Five of them were talking at one of the tables. One girl was drawing in a composition notebook with a marker. Two were playing connect four, while another was watching them. The other two were sitting alone, staring out the window.

The girl that was drawing looked at me, and showed me her notebook from across the room. It read, "I think you're really cute tbh".

There were always a lot of lesbians at these places, and they always hit on other girls. She was skinny, with short brown hair and glasses. She would've made a really cute boy.

I ignored her, and walked to the counter to ask if they found a room for me yet. Of course they hadn't.

When I walked back in the room, one of the girls at the table walked up to me.

"Hey," she said, "are you new?"

Was she stupid? Of course I was new; I just got here. I nodded my head.

"You're probably going to be my roommate because I don't have one right now," she told me.

Great; I get a dumbass roommate.