The Girl in Her Head

Chapter 3

The worst part about mental hospitals is the little time you have for hygiene.

Thirty minutes for you and your roommate to take a shower and brush your teeth- that is if you get up on time.

When I go back to my room after getting shampoo, I see that Abby is still asleep. I guess I'll get the first shower.

Dammit. This shower doesn't have something to stop the water, I thought to myself.

I made sure to put my clothes on the far end. Last time I had this kind of shower I didn't notice,  and all my clothes got soaking wet.

I could hear Abby wake up mid shower. That meant I needed to hurry up. I hated feeling rushed, but I didn't want to be rude.

Abby was the only roommate I ever actually liked and wanted to please.

After hygiene time was breakfast.

If I was a picky eater, the food would've been the worst thing at the hospital. I opened the tin foil top of my orange juice and drank it.

"I hate orange juice," Abby, who was sitting by me said.

I shrugged and finished my tiny "cup" of juice.

We sat alone, because Abby knew I didn't like to be around a lot of people, but the lesbian from the day before came up to us.

"Hi," she said, waving.

We looked at each other and didn't speak. When she got the hint, she scoffed and left.

"She hits on everyone," Abby told me.

Figures. I was nothing special, so I got confused when she called me cute.

I had been called cute by people other than my family very few times in my life. It didn't bother me; I knew I was only average.

I was a normal weight, with dark brown eyes and hair. The only thing I ever liked about myself was my button nose. I never liked my pale skin, almond eyes, or thin lips.

Abby, on the other hand, was gorgeous. She had long, wavy, brown hair, thick eyebrows and lips, dark blue eyes, and she was very skinny.

"There's always someone who hits on everyone at these places," I responded.

"Accurate."

We both started laughing until everyone was looking at us.

Maybe the hospital wasn't so bad.

I'm glad I've made friends with Abby, but Maddie still hasn't taken a liking to her. She's been bugging me all morning, telling me I don't deserve her.

It's really hard to block her out. She won't shut up until she gets what she wants... and she wants me dead.

I just want to get rid of her.

Before lunch we had outside time. Good thing it was spring.

Last time I was here it was winter, and we had to stay outside in the freezing cold.

Whenever we go outside, we go with the boys. They were so obnoxious.

There were a few suicidals, but most of them were there for anger issues. At least, that's what Abby told me. It seemed pretty accurate.

One of the boys came up to us to ask Abby to play basketball with her.

I'm pretty sure it was just because she was so pretty, and he wanted to hit on her. I hated him for that. I think Abby did to because she responded with a scoff.

"I hate boys," she told me.

"Same."

By the time that boy had finally left her alone, it was lunch. Way to ruin outside time.

During lunch she told me the story of why she was here.

"I was depressed, and heard from some bad friends that cutting would help. Before I knew it, I was addicted. People started noticing the cuts all over my body, and didn't want to talk to me. Even my parents saw, but they didn't care. It a wasn't until I tried to kill myself before they took me to the hospital for the first time. My habits have only grown worse since then," she explained.

Wow.

I felt so close to her, now that she shared that. I almost wanted to tell my story, but I couldn't.

I couldn't let her know about Maddie, Could I?