Mai's Past Life (NaruXMai)

Chapter Two: New Case

MAI'S POV

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Ugh! I brought my hand down on the alarm clock and got out of bed. I walked to my closet and decided to not wear what I chose yesterday. I grabbed some black skinny jeans and a black T-shirt. I grabbed black socks and my black converse, and put them on. I grabbed my white hoodie and went to make breakfast for myself. I made eggs, toast, and bacon then ate it. After I ate, I went to brush my teeth and grabbed my belongings. I made sure to grab one hundred dollars, just in case and the fact that I need to buy flowers for my mother's grave. It's six-fifteen so I walked to the flower store and bought some roses. I made sure they were blood red, because those types of roses were my mother's favorite. After I paid the lady at the register, I walked to the cemetary. I walked towards the back when I saw the familiar name, and I started tearing up. I put the roses down and started to talk to her.

"I'm so sorry mom. If it wasn't for me being so selfish you wouldn't have been in that stupid car accident. If I hadn't been so stupid and selfish then you wouldn't have had to go get what I wanted. If I hadn't been so... stupid and childish. And I was so mean to you before you left. I didn't even say I love you back. It was all my fault. It was all my fault. Why wasn't it me? It should've been me. I should've been in that stupid car with you. If I hadn't been so freaking selfish and wanted that stupid autographed picture then you would still be here.

"If I had just not said anything we wouldn't have gotten in that stupid argument and you wouldn't have left. Even if you still had, we wouldn't have said those mean things to each other. I should've said I love you back. I miss you mom. I'm so sorry. Then after you left, the pain started again, and Dad started getting more violent. You had always kept him in control, but when you left, he-he just couldn't handle it. Neither of us could. I can't believe I was so stupid to start cutting again. Then a couple years after you left, Dad did to. I came home one day right after school to find everything he owned gone and a not saying about how worthless I was, and how it was my fault you died. Then it explained how he left.

"But, he was right. I am worthless. And it was all my fault that you died. Your death was so difficult for me and I'm so sorry. I wish that day never happened and you were still here. I hate being alone. I hate not having anybody to lean on or give me advice about things when I need it. Mommy, I'm so sorry please come back, I need you. I-I'm so sorry mommy. Please please forgive me. You being gone, is all my fault. I ruined so many lives due to you being gone. I'm sorry for saying this everytime I visit but, It's true. I know if you were here you would be saying it wasn't my fault, it was nobody's. It was just your time to go. Mommy, I love you and I wish you were still here. Someday I'm gonna be wih you, and we can have another girls day like we used to. We can get our nails done and we can shop 'till we drop. We can sing to music in the car and then I'll yell at you cause you would be so embarrasing.

"Mommy, I miss you so much it hurts to think about you. I miss the times where we would have silly arguments and then later I would come crying saying that I was sorry, and you would give me a hug and say it was ok. I remember every time you would give me a hug, happy or sad and how every time you would leave you would come say bye and you told me that you loved me. Sometimes I wouldn't say it back and now I wish I had. I regret so many things from when I was twelve. All I would do is sit in my room all day and read. I wouldn't come hang out with you, and I wouldn't take you up on your offers to go out and have fun. I wish I had never said no to any of them. I hung out with my phone more than I did with you and it was the biggest mistake of my life." I would've continued but I heard my watch beep, I looked down and it said 6:35. It takes fifteen minutes to walk to SPR from here so I would have to leave now.