anything in return | frank ocean [+18] complete

start

AN: The end! Thank you for coming along on this ride with me! AIR is officially a wrap. I wanted to post it so it serves as backstory to the little mini-series and sequel I been working on. Hopefully this prequel will answer some questions people may have about the overall story as I continue along with this universe. This last chapter is gonna be a little something for those Frank lovers out there, a note from him. I appreciate any readers that have been following AIR since 2013 up until this point and just know you have not seen the last of these characters. Love ya'll. <3

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i think about the first time i lied to you often. that's a weird way to start a note of admiration but.. probably not so weird in the case of you and me. winters have never been good for us. january. it was cold in most places in the world ...including me. you noticed, not even knowing me well enough to know the difference. asked me if i was okay- a simple question to which i nodded.. saying i was fine with a smile. a simple lie, but a big one- one that was getting hard to keep up. you saw through me right then. you knew that something was eating at me inside and had been for a while and i didn't have to say anything.. then you asked a second time. our eyes met before i could lie again and i remember not wanting to ...lie to you or myself anymore. my smile fell at the hand of your brown eyes boring into me and it felt good to not have to pretend.. i'd only known you for a month or so but in that moment i knew you would change my life. i promised myself that i would never lie to you again. the seasons always change.. the twinkle in your eye wasn't mine anymore. i was in a relationship but you broke my heart that spring, and i knew it would be a matter of time before you noticed. so i wrote a song. i wrote that song, and i sung it so painfully it broke your heart too. you cried but you didn't ask why.. and i was grateful. i wasn't ready yet. our second winter together was just as cold as the first one. i told you then, expecting the worst. we were on a plane and hot tears swam in your eyes as you grabbed my hand. i was too numb to feel it then but it still meant the world to me. you didn't choose me that winter.. but the new year came and i was determined. spring and summer came and went, bringing many surprises and much pain and confusion. i should've been happy given the circumstances.. but i wasn't. i kissed you that fall because things always feel better when you shouldn't do them. i fell in love soon after then, too. it was fleeting.. foreign. by the time winter came to an end so did our relationship. i won a grammy for songs about you and you still didn't choose me. however, the choice you made left you with consequences.. so spring and summer were rough for you. there i was, suffering from second hand pain but all i could remember was the feeling of your burning hand against mine when i needed you the most. i held your hand this time, promising you that i'd always be there. fall was full of death.. we rose from the ashes together like a pair of phoenixes. the smile in my eyes is warm and undeniable and everything far of a lie. your eyes are still just as beautiful and as soul-searching as the first time i saw them. whatever it is they see in me does nothing but make you smile. they shine for me even though orange red brown will soon fade into white blue grey. yea.. seasons change... but i don't have to be afraid anymore. no matter how many choices we start off with you always end up right here. with me.