Marvel shorties

Knives, so many knives...

Characters: Loki, Thor, Ylva, various S.H.I.E.L.D. agents.

Author's note: Ylva (Coffee & Books OC) has a cameo in this story. This oneshot fits in the AU from 'The Handler' (Book: Muffins).

***

The Bifrost scorches an intricate pattern in the lawn at the back of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, its rainbow lights revealing two tall figures standing on the lawn. They walk towards the building, paying no mind to the ruined state of the once green lawn.  S.H.I.E.L.D. greenkeeping has already given up on trying to repair the field; every time the Asgardians visit headquarters this square patch of grass is the victim of their mode of transportation.

Thor strides into the hall, greeting the S.H.I.E.L.D. employees he encounters with a friendly smile. His raven-haired brother is less inclined to make friends and keeps a stoic expression on his face as he follows the God of Thunder inside. 

Every entrance of the S.H.I.E.L.D. building is secured and everyone who enters must go through a metal detector. The Asgardians are no exception to that, even though everyone in the building knows who and what they are. Fury's orders are not to be trifled with, though, so everyone must go through the same security check. No matter whether you are the Allfather's firstborn son or Captain America himself. 

The God of Thunder places his umbrella in the tray that sits on a conveyor belt that takes it through an X-ray scanner. "Good morning, Howard," he greets the agent that keeps an eye on the scanner. "Good morning, Mike," he says to the agent that's waiting for him to step through the security gate. 

There's only one security gate at the back entrance of the building, so Loki has to wait his turn. He does so with an impatient scowl on his face, rolling his eyes when the gate beeps as Thor steps through.
"Did I forget something again?" The Avenger obligingly holds up his arms so Mike can use the hand scanner on him. It beeps at his waist, making Thor look down at his jeans. "Are belt buckles considered weapons now too?"

"Not a weapon, Sir," Mike answers. "But it's metal, so it has to go through the X-ray."

Thor steps back through the gate, making it go off again, and pulls his belt from the loops in front of the conveyor belt. Loki leans against the side of the belt, eyeing his brother with a hint of annoyance. 
"Who could've thought belt buckles were dangerous?" Thor remarks, a half-assed try for a joke.

Loki shrugs. "I could do a lot of damage with that."

The oldest brother gives the innocent looking belt buckle another glance before he drops it in the waiting tray, watching it go through the X-ray machine. "I suppose it has its possibilities."

After Thor has threaded his belt back into the loops of his jeans, it's Loki's turn. "Your weapons, please, Sir," Howard asks politely. 

Loki gives him an unimpressed stare as he opens his belt buckle and pulls the black leather item from its loops. "Does silver count too?" he asks, showing the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent his cuff links. 

"Yes, Sir," is the answer and Loki rolls his eyes again, though he unfastens the dagger shaped cuff links and puts them down in the tray. "Any other weapons or metal items on you?"

Loki pins the agent with a hard stare as he slowly puts his hand inside his jacket and pulls out a dagger. A matching dagger comes from the inside pocket on the other side, both knives almost as long as the plastic tray they're now in.

"Don't forget the one on your ankle, brother," Thor calls out helpfully, countering Loki's dark look with a goofy smile. A moment later a smaller knife joins the two daggers in the plastic tray. 

"Thank you, Sir," Howard says, gesturing for the Asgardian in black to walk through the security gate. 

The loud beeps and the red light flashing on top of the gate are a clear indicator that there is still some metal somewhere on Loki's body. The handheld scanner says so too. "Please go back and empty your pockets, Sir," Mike orders in a polite manner. 

If Thor was paying close attention, he would see the way the right corner of Loki's mouth turned up slightly. Then he would know that the two daggers that went in the second plastic tray, were not the last. As it is, Thor only catches on to Loki's play when his brother walks through the security gate for the third time, still making the alarms go off. 

The S.H.I.E.L.D. agent by the gate makes a move to pat Loki down and the God of Mischief fixes him with an angry glare. "You don't get to touch me."

"Sir, I can't let you go through with possible conceiled weapons on your body. You really have to put all your weapons and other metal items in the tray or else I will have to search you." It speaks for Mike that he is brave enough to pack some firmness in his voice.

Ten minutes later there are no less than twenty different throwing knives laying next to the X-ray scanner, a diverse assortment ranging in length and width. And still the alarms go off when Loki strolls through the gate, no longer bothering to hide his smirk. 

While his brother makes another round of emptying his pockets, this time even pulling a knife from behind his ear, Thor grabs the arm of a young S.H.I.E.L.D. agent that walks by. "Please go get Lady Frederikson for me. She works on the tenth floor."

The assortment of knives has grown to twentyfive when Loki steps another time through the gate, the red light on top flashing again. "Brother," sighs Thor. "Will you please stop?"

Loki only smirks, pulling a small knife from his left shoe an dropping it in the tray. "Make me," he mouths to his brother, challenging him. 

"Oh, I won't," Thor answers with a grin. "But she will." 
He turns to the woman that walks into the hall, dressed in a S.H.I.E.L.D. T-shirt on top of a pair of jeans. She wears a black holster, holding a dark gun, on top of the shirt. "Good morning, Ylva," Thor says warmly, kissing her on both cheeks. 

"Good morning, Thor," she answers just as warm before turning to the scene by the security gate with a smile. "Good morning, honey." 

"Hello, love," Loki says, not exactly smiling. "You called her?" he asks his brother, the feeling of betrayal clear in his voice. Thor only smirks in response. 

Ylva walks up to the gate, where Mike is holding his scanner, ready to scan Loki again. She shows him her badge. "Good morning, Mike. Why don't I search Mr. Laufeyson and clear him, so we can all get on with our day?"

The S.H.I.E.L.D. agent steps to the side, evidently relieved. "Be my guest."

The God of Mischief willingly spreads his arms to be patted down by Ylva, the annoyance with his brother quickly making place for a fond look on his face as he looks down on the young woman that runs her hands over him in an expert manner. 
She pulls two more knives from his sleeves and one from the sock on his right foot before she gets up again, standing almost flush against him. "Is that all?"

Loki nods, smiling innocently. "I promise."

"Good." Ylva steps back and starts to walk back to where she came from, waving over her shoulder. "See you tonight, honey!"