The Angel, The Hunter and The Nephilim (Destiel x Daughter)

18. Bloody Pajamas

They've been waiting for an hour and now it's five in the morning. Sam is sitting in the waiting room accompanied by Bobby, who he called for moral support after they had taken Leah to get checked out. Three hours has gone by since Dean and Cas jumped on a plane, so they will probably be at the hospital within the hour.
The clock is ticking on the bland, light gray wall, the only sound in the dreaded quiet of the waiting room, where it's only the two men. Madison is away on her seventh pee break since they got to the hospital.
"It's the cleansing juice she's on right now," Sam's said to Bobby the past three times she's gone off. Bobby just nods and they've tried to make small talk, but it's difficult to actually speak to each other when things are so messed up.
Another half-hour ticks by and Sam starts to prepare his ears for Dean Winchester's angry wails that are gonna appear and fill this very room with some very tasteful phrases. That is, if he gets here before they're allowed to see her.
Sam catches a lucky break when a doctor with a chart comes walking in just as Bobby's cell rings, the cue for him to drive to get his son and son-in-law at the airport. He says nothing about Leah, her status, or that they're allowed to see her.

Leah has dried down tear stains on her face, she's raw from crying and still sweaty, so Sam gets some towels from a nurse so he can sit by her bedside and wipe at her face while she's still unconscious from the drugs.
"What if she wakes before Dean comes?" Sam whispers to his wife, his stomach turning when he thinks about the reason they're spending the night in the hospital. And about telling Leah. And, maybe worst of all, Dean.
Madison shakes her head and leans over Leah in the hospital bed, carefully wiping away another tear that runs down her cheek in her sleep.
"Then we'll tell her that her dads will be here any minute." She smiles faintly.
Sam frowns.
"There's no upside to this situation, Maddy. Please don't smile, my niece just-"
"I know, Sam, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just kind of ironic, is all."
Sam frowns again, about to ask what the hell that's supposed to mean, but he's interrupted by his big brother walking into the room, closely followed by Castiel, and then by Leah's doctor. Sam gets up immediately and carefully lets go of Leah's hand, and he walks over and gets crushed in between Dean's arms.
"God, it's been a long time," Dean says through gritted teeth. "It's good to see you, Sammy." He takes a step back and eyes his younger brother up and down.
"Thank you for taking care of Leah... even though it wasn't for that long." He smiles halfheartedly and turns to the bed where his daughter is laying, still unconscious.
"Now, what's wrong with my kid?"

"Oh... I'm dope. Doped. Drugged?"
Dean shoots up in the uncomfortable, hard plastic hospital chair he's been half sleeping in for the past hour when he hears his daughter's groggy voice. He had a paper cup with coffee in his hand that he spilled on his jeans while he was sleeping, but he puts it away and gets up, not minding the stains on his clothes.
"Oh, god, you're awake kiddo, thank god the almighty and everything holy," he says, he's definitely been twiddling thumbs and waiting for hours, and he's not very strong on believing in a higher power, but he sends something a thought anyway as he approaches the bed. He leans his hands on the railing of the hospital bed, looking at his daughter with a loving gaze.
"Daddy? What the hell are you doing here?" Leah frowns, she's foggy, her eyes glassy from the drugs and the long sleep. She shakes her head as if to wake herself up, and she looks around the little white room.
"Why am I in the hospital?"
Dean ignores his daughter's question and embraces her, pulling her in tightly, her words becoming mere mumbles against his chest.
"God, I'm so sorry, honey, I should have known. I'm so sorry," he whispers into her hair.
"Should have known what?" Leah asks, pulling back, and when he sees the confusion in her eyes again, he pulls his chair up to the bed and sits down.
"What is the last thing you remember?" he asks and folds his hands in his lap, not minding his younger brother sleeping on the couch on the other side of the room, his legs reaching a lot longer than the small two-seater, and his head in such a weird position it looks like his neck is broken. But Dean needs to focus on his child and the painful conversation they inevitably have to go through. 
"Honestly? I remember in bits and pieces that I woke up and we had a fight and then we went to eat at-"
"Whoa, wait, home in Kansas?"
"Yeah, home in Kansas," Leah replies, looking at Dean with a frown. "And then I remember being with uncle Sam at uncle Bobby and aunt Karen's, where we were stuffed with pie, and that's about it."
"Well, you've been sedated for a couple hours, you're coming out of it. It'll get to you," he says and smiles faintly, folding his hands.
"Dad, what are you doing here?" Leah asks, she looks anxious, slightly starting to freak out. "And why is uncle Sam sleeping in that couch over there? Did aunt Karen drug us with, like, her pies or something? Or did I eat too much?"
"Aunt Karen would never use her pies to take down humanity, honey, and you know that even better than I do. This had noting whatsoever to do with food... I think," he tries, in an attempt to lighten the mood, but it's not working for either of them.
"So you're not gonna tell me. Okay. Where's dad?" she asks and looks around the room again as if Dean would have this talk with her alone if Cas had been there. "And why is uncle Sam here?"
"I'll tell you when the doctor comes. I wanna have Cas here, too, but he's indisposed at the moment."
"Indisposed?" she asks, turning back to him.
"Sleeping at Sam and Maddy's place."
"Why aren't you and uncle Sam there?"
"Oh, you know me... I'm a sucker for these comfy hospital chairs and the funky smells and the frowny faces all around me." He chuckles, but earns nothing but another frowny face in the sea of sickness he's witnessed all over the hospital these past hours while wandering around the halls on a caffeine high, waiting mindlessly for his daughter to finally wake up.
"I can't leave you alone like this, can I? I just couldn't go. Cas told us to get some sleep in real beds, but I just wanted to be near you when you woke up, because I think you're gonna need me here," he whispers and looks down and rubs his face in thought for a second.
"Dad, what's wrong?" Leah asks, she's starting to seriously freak out.
"Okay, I'll show you what's wrong," he says, letting go of her hand and getting up. He gets a transparent plastic bag from the top of a chest of drawers with medical equipment right by the door and lays it in her lap while she props the back of her bed up.
Sam groans from the couch and sits up, suddenly aware that his niece is up and alert and about to find out what happened. He rubs his back for a second and then joins his little family without a word, but he stares down into the floor, which will be less psychologically challenging than having to see the look on her face when she realizes what happened last night.
Dean pulls her favorite pajama pants out of the bag. They're white, with little brown bears with blue hats on them as a pattern, she was wearing them when she went to sleep last night. Except... they're not white anymore. They're red. Crimson red. From all around the top into various sizes of blood stains all the way down. Leah picks it up and gasps slightly, and Dean looks at her, teeth clenched, already in pain from her reaction.
"I must have bled myself half to death," she whispers, almost inaudibly as she drops the stiff, blood soaked pants back in her lap. "But this is supposed to be normal, right? Uneven... bleeding in the first few years?"
She looks at her dad, the suspicion rising. "It's not supposed to be this much, is it?"
"I have no idea, kiddo, but this wasn't that," Dean says quietly, not really updated on the whole period thing. All he remembers is the first time, and things pretty much worked themselves out from there. But this...
He draws a sharp breath and kinda hopes she'll figure it out on her own. She stares from him to the pants and back again a few times, and then back at him one more time.
"No. No, don't tell me... please don't tell me I- oh my god, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die of cancer, I'm too young, I'm too..." She takes the blood-soaked pajama pants and throws them against the floor, but Sam catches it just in time to collect the evidence they need to give to the police in case she wants to have a case opened on her ex boyfriend. His niece leans forward hiding her face in her hands, blinded by the tears, but Dean carefully grabs her and tries to talk and calm her down.
"Leah, kiddo, you don't have cancer. You're not going to die. It's not fatal, it's just... I don't really have the words for it." He tightens the grip around her hands and takes a deep breath, looking up at Sam and then away.
"The doc would only speak in medicine to us, and since you weren't awake until now... You had a spontaneous abortion, or, uh-"
"A miscarriage," Sam says quietly, looking at the blood-stained piece of clothing resting in the sealed plastic bag in his hands. He's still struggling to look at his niece.
"How's that not medic-" she asks, and then starts stuttering in confusion. "Wait, I what? No, that can't be right. I can't be pregnant. I can't have been pregnant. That makes no sense, unless-"
"Sam and Maddy got an ambulance from their house last night. You've been with them since yesterday afternoon. I thought some time away from me and Cas would be good for you after all that's happened, but the first night, you..." he stops. "It seems you had a nightmare. A pretty bad one at that, probably a bad flashback, which likely started a panic attack, you got up to find Sam and Maddy, and then you had a miscarriage."
Then it all comes back to her and everything suddenly makes sense. The nightmare she woke up from was a flashback from the real-life version of the same incident. She had been pregnant... with a rape baby.

The news hit her like a train and Dean sees this. He gets up and out of the way just in time to not get completely covered in vomit. And then the tear gate opens and out flows small, salty drops in rivers down her face. Leah hides her face in her hand as she starts sobbing into the quiet room. Sam and Dean share silent looks, Sam suggesting they should get the doctor, Dean suggesting they should get Cas.
Dean pulls up his phone to call his husband, his hand softly rubbing his daughter's back, while Sam gets up to find the doctor.
Cas arrives 15 minutes later, his hair ruffled from sleeping and his blue shirt half buttoned and put on the wrong way, he was definitely rushing. The doctor has already been there to assess and he's given Leah some more pain relievers after having a nurse clean up the vomit and change her dressing.
Dean unbuttons Cas' shirt and makes his husband put it on the right way while Sam is trying to make Leah laugh. Nothing is helping.
"Madison wants you home," Cas says to Sam when his shirt is on straight. "She had news."
"About the baby?" Sam says, and his words have everyone looking up, including Leah. There's a silence lasting for about three seconds before Leah's tired sobs are heard and Dean rushes to her side.
The angel sends Sam a look of confusion and surprise. "You know?"
Sam nods while putting his jacket on.
"Yeah, I kinda figured. Madison started crying when she realized what was going on, right before we went to the hospital. And after, when the doctor had told me, she was just saying how ironic it was."
"Well, you could sound happier about it," Cas points out.
Sam nods towards Cas' daughter and shakes his head. "Not really. I'll be back."
He leans down to the bed and hugs Leah. She doesn't even move or look in his direction. Sam nods to Dean and leaves.
"You're gonna be an aunt, kiddo, isn't that amazing?" Dean asks as Cas joins them, but Leah just sobs and shakes her head, closing her eyes.
"Please just kill me," she says while turning away, her voice hollow, it sends chills down Dean's spine. He just wants to break down right now, seeing his child absolutely shattered, but he needs to stay strong for both her and Cas.
"I'm just gonna talk to Cas outside in the hallway. It will only take a minute, okay?"
He doesn't wait for an answer, just presses his lips to her forehead and gets up and pulls Cas out by his arm into the hallway. He wipes his face with the sleeve of his jacket as he closes the door and walks a couple steps down the hall.

"Cure her," he says, pointing towards the door to their daughter's hospital room.
"What?" Cas frowns.
"Cure Leah! Make her okay again! I can't stand this, I can't stand by and see my own child so broken!"
"Dean, we promised to be norm-"
"I don't care what we promised," Dean wails. "Twice this past month I've heard her say she wants to die. Twice! What do our wedding vows mean if Leah has lost her will to live? You have to help her, you're the only one who can, or they're gonna take her away from us, choke her full of antidepressants and lock her down in psych!"
"I can't," Cas wheezes through his teeth, starting to feel aggravated and stressed out.
"Don't you have feelings?" his husband cries, but he forces himself to calm down and he lowers his voice, pulling his husband farther down the hall to make sure Leah can't hear them.
"I know you have cared for, and protected, Leah every time you have needed to, and I know she's your child as much as mine. And I know we promised each other we wouldn't resort to this if we ever found ourselves in a situation this messed up. But if you've ever truly loved our girl in there, if you've ever loved me, you ignore our wedding vows and you suck it up and you save her."
"I would if I could, but I can't," Cas whispers, still trying to stay calm. He's gotten used to being the balanced person in the little family, but it's hard to be quiet and strong when things are as bad as they are now.
"I can't," he says again and throws a look down the hall to make sure nobody's hearing. "Something is wrong with my powers. My grace has faded, I cant do anything. Don't you think I would have done something by now if I had been able to? Our child was raped, Dean, and she was unknowingly pregnant and she miscarried. If I could take away all that from her memories, I would, but I can't."
Dean is left speechless and desperate. He starts pacing nervously around the hallway.
"Then what do we do?" he asks, now starting to freaking out. "We can't make her live through this while remembering everything that's happened to her these past few months. There's gotta be another way."
"Maybe Bobby knows of something we can do?"
"Yeah. I'll call Bobby. But we'll have to talk to her first. I'll call him when she's asleep."
Dean stands there helpless for a second and Cas walks up to him, holds his head in his hands and looks into his eyes.
"We can do this, Dean. We've done this for a decade and we've been through so much more than this. It's gonna be alright." He kisses his husband and takes his arm.
"Now let's go talk to our daughter."