↠ 𝕪𝕘𝕥𝕓 𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤 ↞

↣byounggon ∘ voices↢(trigger warning)

a/n:huge trigger warning,this one-shot includes depression and anxiety so if this triggers you please don't read!!

again and again i looked at the book in front of me,trying to understand what it wanted to tell me.

but i didn't.

i must've sat there for hours but i still wasn't able to get these letters and numbers in my head.

it was really important for me to learn these things,because of the upcoming exams and tests in university but my brain just didn't want.

slowly i grew frustrated and i felt tears wetting my eyes.

so i sat there,crying because of frustration,my books and papers spread in front me.

the clock was showing 2 in the morning and i know i should sleep and rest but i couldn't.

i knew,as soon as i would lay down,these voices would haunt me on won't let me rest.

yet i decided to get into my bed,snuggling myself into the blankets,that smelled like my boyfriend,byounggon.

tonight he was out with friends,that's why he wasn't there.even though i would've needed him.

immediately when i closed my eyes,i remembered how important it would be to study,how usless i was,just laying around.

more and more thoughts about how much of a person i was started to eat me and my chest started to feel heavy.

i had trouble breathing and tears started to fill my eyes again.

soon i started to sob loudly,messing with my head even more.

"baby?"i heard a voice quietly,but i was too busy with getting myself back to breath normally.

"y/n!hey!"i could clearly recognize byounggon speaking to me but i couldn't respond.the pressure on my chest was to big.

i felt two strong arms,hugging me and pulling me to a body.through smelling his scent,i was able to calm down,still tears ran down my face.

"it will be fine.."byounggon started to caress my hair as i calmed down more and more.

"just breath.."he pressed some kisses on my head and soon i breathed rather normal again.

"there you go."my boyfriend kissed my forehead before i looked up to him.

"thank you.."i still sobbed and he picked me up from the bed,carrying me into our kitchen.

byounggon sat me down on the counter before turning on the light.

then he shortly came back to me to plant a soft kiss on my lips but went then to cook some hot water for tea,yet his hand never left my thigh.

"i will be with you in a few."he quietly said and i nodded,some single tears rolling down my face.

when the tea was ready,he carried the cups to the living room before carrying me to the couch as well.

"make yourself comfortable,baby.."he said,while grabbing a huge blanket to cover me.

i did as he said and sat down in the corner of our couch,him sitting right beside me.

as soon as he wrapped his arms around me,i lost it again.

my sobs filled the whole room and the knot in my chest grew bigger and my heart pumped rapidly.

sweat formed on my forehead but i felt cold.

in pain,i grabbed byounggon's hands,which i pressed hard.

"y/n..listen to my voice..breath slowly.."he said and i tried what he told me,but it didn't work.

"just try again."he told me and i tried again.

this time,i was able to control my breath a bit more.

"now,hold your breath for 5 seconds and then breath out."byounggon spoke softly.

i stopped breathing and counted till 5 and i could feel my heart race slowing down.

i hugged byounggon even harder as i calmed down and he had his arms strongly around me as well.

"that's it."he mumbled again my forehead and kissed it multiple times.

"i am sorry.."i said.

"don't apologize,baby.."

for a while,we just sat there,hugging each other,him caressing my hair once in a while.

"are you calm now?"byounggon asked and i nodded.

"can you tell me what happened?"

"studies got too much."i shrugged,avoiding eye contact.

"baby look at me.."he put two fingers under my chin,making me look at him.

"everything is fine..you just need rest.."byounggon kissed me.

"i will take some days off from work and you won't go to school next week."

in shock,i widened my eyes.

"you cannot and i cannot."

"yes baby,you can.you can take the exams,next term and they won't need me at work.please,give yourself a break."again and again he kissed me,making me feel even safer.

"but—"i tried to talk back but my boyfriend cut me off.

"no buts.we will rest and you can get a clear head,alright?"

defeated,i nodded and laid my head on byounggon's chest.

"try to sleep and if it get's bad again,don't hesitate to wake me.i will be right here."

he gave me a small smile that i returned.

"i am so proud of you!"byounggon mumbled before i drifted into a hopefully calm sleep.

a/n: i never had an anxiety attack but one of my closest friends is suffering under them so i wanted to write something for her to feel better :)
i don't know what it exactly feels like so i am sorry if it isn't as accurate

and if you ever need someone to talk to,my dms are always open for all of you :)