Loki's Daughter

IX

"OMG, I'm so happy for you. I told you he wasn't that bad," Ari said through the phone.

"Yeah, whatever. How are your grandparents doing?" I asked.

"They're fine. I mean they're really happy to see me, and I am to see them, but I would much rather be back in New York," She replied.

"How much longer are you over there?" I asked as I entered the apartment building.

"Until my parents are done doing whatever they're doing so my guess is another two days or so," she responded. "Enough about me, how about you? What are you doing right now?" She continued to ask.

"Um, I'm on my way to see Jace," I replied as I climbed up the stairs.

"Oh, let me go then. I'll let you two talk," She said.

"I'm not even in front of him yet though," I replied.

"It doesn't matter, I have to go anyways. Plus I'm hungry so goodbye," she responded. "Bye," I said before she hung up the phone. 

I finally reached Jace's apartment door. I knocked and waited for an answer but there was none. I knocked once again and still nothing.

I rolled my eyes before heading back toward the stairs. I continued to climb up towards the roof of the building. I knew if he wasn't home, there was one other place he would be.

I finally reached the roof and sure enough, there was a male silhouette sitting off the edge admiring the sight before him.

"How did I know that you would be up here?" I asked as I walked closer to him.

Jace turned around and smiled at the sight of me. He stood up and replied. "Where else would I be?"

"You know I couldn't miss out on this breathtaking view," He continued as he pointed at the skyline.

"Your right, It's beautiful," I replied with a smile.

"Come on, " he said as he gestured for me to come to him. "Come sit," he continued as he sat back down and patted the pavement next to him.

I walked to the edge and sat down about a foot next to him. I was still afraid that something may happen and I wanted to prevent that as much as possible.

"Where's your mom? I thought that she would be home," I asked.

"She's working right now. She had to take on another job because she was barely able to make rent and wasn't really able to feed the both of us," he responded.

"How is she, grief wise?" I asked.

A soft sigh escaped from his lips before he spoke.

"She's getting better. Work is a really good distraction, I guess. She doesn't drink as much which is good and I mean she's at a point where she's accepting the fact that he's dead and is trying to move on," he replied.

"That's good," I said. I looked out at the skyline and sighed.

"It's just been so awkward whenever I'm around your mom. Like a couple of weeks ago when I was here, I felt like there was some sort of resentment toward me," I said.

"From my mom? No. She loves you like you're her own. She doesn't blame, hate, or resent you. Everything is fine. It's in your head," He replied and I nodded.

"Do you?" I asked softly.

"Do I what?"

"Resent me?" I clarified.

"Of course not, why would you think that?" He asked.

"I don't know, I-I thought you might resent me for the same reason your mom might...because of who I live with, the people I call my family. I mean you never go there like ever since I moved there," I said.

He was silent.

"I miss how it was before. I miss the family dinners that your family would invite me to every Friday. I miss seeing everyone being so happy, full of joy. Nowadays I feel like everyone is so dreadful. I hate it," I said. "Like right now, I wanna hug you, console you, but I'm still unsure if it's safe to even touch you," I continued in frustration.  

"Please say something, Jace" I pleaded.

He sighed.

"I think maybe subconsciously I resent them, not you, obviously. You weren't even there, you had nothing to do with it." He said.

"I mean I'm gracious of them. They fought for us, for our city, and without them, I agree things could have been a lot worse but they weren't able to save my dad and I guess I'm a little bitter about that. My dad was just another casualty in the news and I'm sure they think about all the people they weren't able to save all the time and are sorry for that but that doesn't bring my dad back. My family is struggling right now and I guess it's easier to blame someone else for that.  I mean that's just life, right?" He continued.

Now I was silent.

"I do miss it by the way. I think about it all the time, that's why I come out here. I got fresh air, an amazing view, its the perfect place to just sit alone and think. I love to be in my head when I'm out here, it helps me deal with things better," He said with a slight smile. "My mom says that I'm a trooper because of the way I handled things and I have to credit this place for that," he continued.

He looked at me and smiled. I couldn't help but return a smile back.

"Enough about me though, let's talk about you. Why did you come here in the first place?" He asked.

I sighed before replying, "I came to tell you that I would be gone for a few days."

"Oh, where are you going now?"

"Asgard," I simply responded.

"Wow. That's so crazy, why?"

"To figure out what the hell is going on with me. I leave tomorrow at noon," I replied.

"Oh. Have fun, I guess," He said before standing up.

I stood up with him. "Something's bothering you, I could tell. Do you not want me to go to Asgard?" I asked.

"No, that's not it. I'm okay. I promise, I'm just tired," He replied as he walked toward the stairs of the building.

"All of a sudden?" I called out.

I followed him back into the building and down the steps.

"Jace talk to me," I said.

"I would if there was anything to talk about. I told you I'm fine," He replied.

"I know you hate the whole enhanced peoples' thing and want a sense of normalcy again but this is my life now and as long as you know me and are friends with me, this is never going away," I said.

He stopped mid-step and turned around.

"I know that. I don't like it but I have to accept it. Can you please make an effort to not speak about that stuff around me though? It's triggering. It brings me back to a day I'd rather not think about, I just wanna move forward," He said before turning back around and continuing down the steps.

"Okay. Thank you for finally telling me how you feel," I said as I followed him "I won't speak about that stuff around you," I continued.

We finally reached his apartment door.

"Why didn't you tell me all this sooner instead of keeping it bottled up inside?  You know that you can talk to me, right?" I said as he unlocked his front door.

He turned around and looked at me.

"I know. I just...honestly I just didn't know how. It never felt right and didn't seem that serious for me to really speak on," he said.

I nodded. "It's alright," I said.

"You coming inside?" He asked and I shook my head. "Nah, I gotta head home," I replied.

I watched as he turned back around and entered his home. I turned around and did the same.