Dead Inside

The Last Goodbye

     I walk out to the bus stop with Tommy and Joseph this morning. Mondays always suck, but especially this one. Our buses come along, and we are on our way to school. I think about yesterday's happenings, still haven't recovered from the experiences. Still have so many questions going through my mind right now. "When is my mom's boyfriend moving in," "why is the shed so important," "why is all that stuff in the box there," and "why was that girl chasing me down." It's sad that I haven't discovered her name, seems like we keep meeting at bad times. Hopefully I see her at school, will definitely be looking for her today. Andy as well, haven't heard from him at all this weekend.
     The bus arrives at school, and I quickly get out and get inside. I go to my locker, and scan the halls looking for either people I need to talk to. I see neither of them, and the bell rings. So I quickly grab my school supplies and head to class. I get lost in my mind while class is going, time is moving slow anyway. Trying to figure out what is going on, wondering if everything is connected. The thing following me, the shed, the box, the girl, the notes, what does it all mean? Speaking of which I need to go out to that tree, as I look down at the photo I had. Also, I haven't seen Andy at all this morning.
     Finally lunch comes around. First thing, I try to call Andy; wondering where he is and what happened. When he doesn't answer, I decide to go out to the tree. It's a giant oak tree looking out toward the fields next to the school. I used to spend so much time here, just trying to find the real me. Discovering who I am, and where I belong. Yet I never found out thus deciding to go ahead and remove myself from the equation of life. It's a beautiful place to just sit and think.
     I look at the note on the back of the photo again. She said I need to start making holes rather than filling in holes. Obviously thats a figurative thing....I think. I begin to circle around the tree, looking for anything that might stand out. But of course the tree looks the same as it did for the past 3 years. Rough bark, long overhanging branches, that one hole the birds like to nest in, not a thing has changed. Wait.... the birds hole.... is that what was meant by making a hole? The hole is a couple feet above my head, so I climb a bit up the tree to reach it. I look inside, and sure enough there's a little package inside. Taking it out, I put it in my pocket to look at later. Seeing as lunch was up and I had to get back to class.
     On the way back to class, I try calling Andy again. All to no avail. He still doesn't answer, so I send him a message explaining myself and asking that he respond. I really need to talk to him about all the stuff going on in my life. He's my closest friend, and has been there through everything. Andy is the only one I would trust with my life. I really hope I didn't push him out too far that he thinks I hate him.
     I float through the rest of my classes, all being of no interest to me. I spend the day scanning the halls, looking for Andy and that girl. I find neither of them, which is slightly concerning to me. Soon as class ends I go out to my locker and get ready  to go home. I open up my locker and there's another letter with  my name on it. I guess someone slipped it in while I was in class, It wasn't in there before. I decide not to open it yet, just trying to get home. I stand at the bus stop, half hoping that Andy would pull up to give me a ride home. Yet he never showed and I had to ride the bus home. While on the bus I contemplate my life, wonder if I'm gonna end up dead after all this.
     We pull up to the corner by my house where I get off the bus. I start walking home, but my heart starts racing when I see police cars at my house. I run up just as they were starting to drive off, my mom in the car right behind them. She calls me to get in the car, which I quickly do so. "What's going on," I ask. What she tells me strikes fear in my heart; "There was an accident and your brothers' bus flipped and rolled off the road." "There were a couple kids who died, but Tommy and Joseph are at the hospital right now." I sit back, scared for them, wondering how bad their condition is. They are only boys, too young for this to happen to them.
     We pull up to the hospital, and both run in to the front desk. The nurse points us in the direction of their rooms and we go straight in there. They both look pretty beat up. Tommy has a cast on his leg and a few stitches on his arm and cheek. Joseph has a cast on both arms, which concerns me. The doctor comes in and explains what happened with them both. Due to the fact that there is no seatbelts on the bus, all the kids went tumbling through the bus when it flipped. Due to that Tommy has a couple breaks in his leg, of course the cut in his cheek, bruises, and a cut on his stomach. Joseph has a fractured wrist on his left arm, and a break in his forearm on the right; and plenty of bruises and small cuts of his own. Otherwise they were in a pretty stable condition, still under from the anesthesia.
     The doctor wants to keep them both overnight just to make sure there wasn't any other damage inside. So I tell my mom that I will stay with them so that she can go to work, to which she agrees. Mom leaves after about half an hour, and I just sit there wondering what on earth caused such a thing to happen. I try calling Andy again, but the call goes straight to voicemail. That's odd, he would never do that to me, no matter how bad things got. So I try sending him a message, but it wouldn't send. Did he block me out of his life?
     I decide to open the package I found in the tree. It's half a puzzle piece with a note attached to it. The note said; "You'll find the rest under you in the middle of tragedy suspended." What the hell is that supposed to mean? Under me in the middle of tragedy suspended. I think for a bit and try to decipher it. Under me.....possibly under my chair? The middle of tragedy would be what tho....well i am in a hospital. That's it....under a chair in the hospital! Goodness that's a lot of chairs to look under. Wait, its in the middle; that would be the waiting room downstairs. So I rush down and look under the chairs, until finally I find a little package taped under one chair.
     It was the other half of the puzzle piece. I put them together and read the writing on the back of them; "Doing good, now lets read about the arts of a gentleman." Damn this person, always talking like this. Expecting me to figure it all out myself. I can't think about this right now, so I put the pieces in my pocket and head back to the room with my brothers. Remembering the note I found in my locker, I pull it out and open it to read over. I lose my very being when I see the content of the note......it was a last goodbye.