The Suicide Notebook

Prologue - The Last Day

Briana's P.O.V

I stared blankly at the empty page in my notebook. This is it. I sighed, soon, life will be out of my hand- it'll be away from my reach, and I'll make my way to Hell.

A tear rolled down my face, what would Lizzie do when she finds out? No. Nope. She wouldn't care. She was my friend out of pity. I smiled, feeling better about my decision now, it was all out of pity.

I tapped my fingernails against the walnut-african wooden desk, just thinking. What should I write? This will be it. The last time I ever write in my suicide notebook.

I glared out the window that was on my left side. The curtains were propped on the sides, and the sun's rays shone brightly in my room.

An idea came into mind, I took a deep breath for a moment, then let it out. I wrapped my hand around my black-colored no2 pencil, and placed the tip on the starting point of the paper.

My Last Day 9-8-14

I'm tired of it all. EVERYTHING. From the name calling, and the punching... I will happily be leaving this horrible place that's my life. I don't understand, what did I ever do? What did I ever do to deserve this treatment? I kept all my secrets kept in my mind, act like the words didn't hurt. Act like they didn't matter. Well, they did. I lied, and I am tired of it. When someone ever asked if I was fine, I'd say yes. But in all honesty, I wasn't. I was depressed, hiding behind a mask, cutting, my pleads for help, vanished in my mind. They were never heard, and now, I guess it's too late. The lonliest people are the kindest. The saddest smile the brightest. The most damaged... they are the wisest. Only because they don't want anyone else suffer the way they do. Well, I was lonely, I was sad, but I was not wise. If I was wise, I probably wouldn't be making this choice. This all started because some people wanted to put someone else in pain to make themselves feel better. How does that work? It seems cruel to do that, to drive someone to take their life because of someone else. Whoever finds this book, if anyone finds this, just know, if anyone harasses you, or bullies you, it's making a statement about who THEY are as a person, NOT you. It's better told than done though, I should be listening to myself, but everything got to me before I could manage to stop it. It was too late. Hopefully though, it isn't for you. Well, it's time now. Bye life. Bye all people that might've cared. But I doubt anyone cared. They probably acted like it as pity. Oh well, bye life. Cya never.

I shut my book and smiled. This. Is. It. I placed my journal on my desk, and wandered off. My bare feet colliding against the hardwood floor made a soft, faint sound that echoed throughout the vacant house I live in. I walked out my bedroom and roamed down the stairs, searching for the kitchen.

I knew immediately I was at the kitchen as the floor I stepped on became slightly cooler. I walked towards the drawers, then I wrapped the palm of my hand on the golden-colored handle, and pulled foward. Nope, nothing. I sighed, where's the screwdriver?

After a couple more minutes of searching, I found the item I desired. Now, to get the rope, stool, envelope, and chair. I slouched a little, this might take a while.

***

I slid my phone out of my pocket, I lightly pressed my finger on the top button to check the time, 4:56. I slipped it back in my front jeans pocket, and continued on with my plan.

***

The chair screeched, it made an unpleasant eerie sound that echoed throughout the house. I lugged it up the staircase and placed it in front of my Mom's bedroom door.

I moved it to be blocking the only exit, so she can't escape. Next, my screwdriver. I tightened the bolts on the side of the door, better safe than sorry, I'm not screwing up this suicidal attempt. Nope. Not happening.

I could hear my pulse pounding in my ears, I'm nervous and anxious, but... I know that I want this to happen. Positive.

I squatted downwards until my hands could reach the mini air-slot on the bottom of the door. I used my right hand to locate the letter, it was somewhere behind me, found it!

Quietly, I slipped it through the slot, and sneakily ran down the stairs.

***

I lifted myself up so my feet stood on top of the flat surface of the wood stool.

I slowly tied the rope on the tree branch that was right above me. Afterwards, I tied my neck, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Someone yelled at me, I turned to see they were sprinting towards me, too late.

I kicked the stool and was in mid-air. My lungs ached as black dots started to take over my vision. I squirmed around from the rope. It'll all be over soon... I heard screams and shouts, but it all disappeared. My vision became completely dark as I heard nothing. But I could still feel the agonizing pain from the lack of oxygen, and the rough rope tightly wrapped around my neck.

The pain slowly started to fade away, but it was still always there.