Ms. Paulson || raulson

chapter 14

That night I slept not very much, millions of thoughts roamed around my head. All of these of course always ended with Sarah, I want to make peace with her, but I feel that it's wrong, we're too different ... as much as we want, I don't think we could ever really be together as a couple. This time I have to listen to the head, and unfortunately don't follow the heart.

I checked the time on the phone, it was exactly half past eight. Since Taissa was still asleep, I decided to write to Sarah to tell her what I decided.

Sarah
I'm Lily, I thought a lot about all the things you told me and finally I came to a conclusion. With you I was well, really, I felt special and in a sense also loved. These days have been tough without you, but I feel that, despite all the beautiful words, we are too different to belong to us. You deserve to be happy too ... right now I'm not your happiness, I hope you'll understand.
Lily

Everything I wrote was absolutely true, there was nothing I regretted but unfortunately there are times when reason prevails over love.

Surely now it is one of those

I get out of bed and put the letter in the kitchen, on the table, hoping nobody else would take it.

It hurts

Life hurts.
***
Sarah's pov

I still keep my eyes closed, I didn't sleep an hour last night, I kept turning around and turning around in bed thinking about what Lily would have said to me.

I was stupid these days, I neglected her but above all I betrayed her. I was feeling such strong feelings that I curse myself for what I did.

Without waking up Holland I get out of bed, slowly I head to the kitchen where I immediately find a small piece of paper.

For sarah
From Lily

She had answered me

Anxiety begins to take hold of me, my whole body begins to vibrate..I'm really scared to read. Maybe for the first time in my whole life I'm scared.

I start reading the first few lines, my heart is flooded with tears. I would like to scream for how much pain I feel in my body, I would like to hurt myself..because I was so stupid?

It's over

It's all over. How can I go on now?

Finally after a long time I really felt something, something strong and special .. I ruined everything. I'm so sorry I would do anything to get it back, I don't think I can keep going.

Without her

To distract myself from all the bad thoughts I go to the bathroom to take a shower. I look at myself in the mirror thinking about how stupid I was to get away from her.

As I bathe my body, I try to find a solution, but I can't even think. I miss her so much.
***
Lily's pov

The letter was gone, Sarah had read it. I'm sorry for her ... for us. I didn't want it to end in this way, even I was falling in love too.

Slowly I went to the kitchen where Sarah and Ms.Taylor were talking. I try as much as possible not to meet her eyes but it is inevitable because she just keeps staring at me.