*takes 10 more shots*
my brain: wyd
my liver: wyd
my stomach: wyd
me to an ex: wyd
my mom asked me, "if you had shot for every bad decision you've made, would you be sober, tipsy, or drunk?" I'd be dead mom TBH
it's beginning to look a lot like cocktails.
i have mixed drinks about feelings.
rather be someone's shot of whiskey than everyone's cup of tea.
you were my cup of tea, but i drink champagne now
i doubt vodka is the answer, but it's worth a shot.
stop trying to make everyone happy. you're not tequila.
drink until the bottle is emptier than u
relationship has 12 letters but then again so does shotssssssss
a boyfriend would be nice but I'm already in a committed relationship with alcohol and poor decisions.
yeah, alcohol is cool, but have you ever had someone care about you? me either pass the bottle.
I am tequila.
I am not orange juice.
[holding my new born son]
me: he's beautiful
doctor: we're gonna have to give him some shots
me: oh hell yeah pour up it's his fucking birthday
