THE HAPPY PILLS

Use It To Grow

“The words that come out from your mouth is not a sword but it can kill a person… ”

Words can make someone smile or cry, heal or hurt, sometimes use to cover lies and tell the truth or sometimes use to make jokes. But even a simple joke can offend a person. You may cracked the joke to have something funny to laugh about and you don’t mean it in a literal way, but if it goes through a person’s  feelings deeper than what you expected then you should also expect on your part that you do something abusive to that person. Sounds impossible but that’s how it goes.

Few more steps and I’ll be graduating in college but the memory of high school days still clings on my mind most especially the moment when I met friends for the first time and soon became my enemy because of one joke not intended to offend me but it did.

We’re having a fun time when one of my friends open up about my sister who is currently the topnotcher of their class compared to me who's on the average level of my intelligence. At first, the conversation is still good but when one of them said, “How come your sister is the topnotcher of their class while you? You’re not even on top since first year,” then a follow-up “Maybe because there’s a lot more air in your head than your sister, right?” then they laugh. It sounds funny for them but they do not know how insulted I am during that time.

I love to stay at school for the reason that I hate being compared with my brother and younger sister at home. I can only handle one hard time in one day and when I saw them laugh at me, it’s uncontrollable on my part to get angry. It’s a traumatic experience for me when I’m being compared with somebody else. It’s the reason why I hate being a leader because once I was compared with other leaders, I lost confidence to lead and afraid to voice out the ideas on my mind. Even when reciting in class, even though I know already the answer, when I know on the back of my mind that it will be compared again, I can’t think clearly and can’t speak as if I was tongue-tied.

But, there are two things I learn during those hard times I experience in life:

Learn to use it as a motivation for a fresh new start and be mature enough to understand.

I may not be able to boost my confidence to lead, I will be the shadow on the light of those in the position. Soon enough, when I was able to overcome the fear of being compared with other people, I’ll take the responsibility of being a leader and I’ll be the one to take the lead. Slowly I will be there but for now I need to take more time to ready myself in the world of reality.