All in my head

Preparation

I sneaked into my bedroom and washed my face to remove all the makeup. I took my pills too. These pills were prescribed by my doctor to get rid of fainting all the time. I never knew why I fainted. But when he was gone the dizziness went away. Even though my health was almost perfect now, I had to take the pills as it was made mandatory for me.
I got used to not being with him although it took a lot of time and tears in the process of healing. Not completely.
I was thinking about Hale and all the things I did with him. I thought if we never met. I thought what if I never went for therapy and never got a chance to meet Hale. Well, destiny and fate are two inevitable facts we have to face in our life.
I closed my eyes gently only to get some sleep; to wake up the next day and be as fresh as a daisy. I did have a few twists and turns in my body while sleeping. I couldn't stop to think of today's dinner party.
When I was little I was asked to draw the most beautiful moment I could think of. I did draw it. I made a family portrait consisting of my Mum, Dad, Sara, Mr. Rylie and Sara's mother. They were all I considered as family. I thought that every little moment with them was the best moment of my life. When the teacher asked me why I drew it when everybody else would be drawing 'candy world' and flying robots. I simply said, "I love to love them."
She just smiled and on one day she personally came to my house to give it to my parents. She said all good things about me. 'Intelligent' and 'caring' were one of the adjectives she used to appraise me. I never felt so special at that moment but now when I look back at time and compare my current situation to it, I find much similarity. 'Love' has always been my top priority. To give love and to receive it were the imperative things in my life.
Now the tables have just turned. Even if I get the most desired thing of mine, I fear none of this will exist one day and everything will be in vain.
I slept, never realizing.
I woke up the next day with a shudder. Sara was in my room, trying to carry the huge cardboard boxes with her tiny yet powerful hands. Although she wasn't tiny she had soft hands which seemed to melt if you touch them. They're so soft. All she does is paint; cook on family occasions and do some sprints intermittently.
"Get up!" She exclaimed.
"What time is it?" I asked, rubbing my eyes to push sleep away.
"It's six thirty. Get up." She exclaimed again.
"It's six thirty in the morning and you want me to wake up. I'm not a morning person, I'm sorry." I bluntly spoke with an expressionless face and my body fell back on my bed.
Sara kept the huge box and asked me to get up. I was hesitant.
She grabbed my hands with her hands and lifted me up. "We have to complete a huge box of canvases. You... are going to help me." She took the glass which was almost empty and acted to throw the water on my face. The bad thing is that she did not know it had some water in it. So the water was all over my face. "Oh! Sara!" I shouted, not too loud. She covered her mouth with her hands in surprise.
"I'm so sorry. Please help me. I forgot I had to complete a whole box of canvases... And you're not running away this time." She almost cried out in the last word.
I was angry with the water treatment I had received but since she was my sister and I loved her, I decided to help her. "Okay. Just give me some minutes to freshen up. You've already revived me up with this thing on my face."
I brushed my teeth and took a quick bath. Meanwhile, Sara was unboxing the canvases. When I came out of the bathroom she had already painted five canvases. "Get to work." She said as soon as she saw me.
I had not even eaten anything but I wanted to help her first. I took a canvas board and started to paint it with the color marked on it. My speed of painting was like a turtle's as compared to Sara's speed. "Do it quickly." She motivated me.
"Well I'm not an artist." I retorted without rolling my eyes. I could see her become apprehensive.
"Yeah, but try." Her speed grew faster. "We need to get this done within an hour. This has to be placed in the exhibition room by two thirty. After five thirty all the gates to the exhibition will be sealed and we need at least two hours to place these canvases into their position." Her jawline tensed.
"Okay... okay I'm doing it." I tried to calm her down.
"Faster!" She yelled with excitement and started to giggle. Fear, tension and nervousness sometimes make a person's brain go haywire. He or she does crazy stuff like screaming and bursting into laughter accompanied by crying episodes. Sara had shown all of them by now.
Within forty five minutes we were done. We completed it together but she was the first one to say it. "Done!" She exclaimed. When I said it too she jumped over me to embrace me into a very tight and firm grip. She kissed me on the cheeks and said, "I love you. You're the best sister. Thank you so much." She said it too briskly that I had to take a few seconds to finally say, "Thank you."
She got off me and started to put the canvases back into the cardboard box in which she had brought it. "Don't you think they're going to be ruined if you put them in without letting them dry?"
"I haven't used a normal paint for this. It's already dry." She never moved her eyes from the canvases and the huge box.
"Oh." I said.
She manhandled the box and took it downstairs with her. I saw her go to the car inside which Mr. Rylie was seated. He drove her here and would've been driving her to the exhibition hall too.
Oh God! This was the quickest task I had done in years. I had nothing to do and I wasn't in the mood to read a book so I decided to message Hale.
"Hi. I woke up early. I've been helping Sara today."
I waited, thinking that he would reply very late as he must've had a habit of waking up late. I was surprised to see his message quicker than ever.
"Good morning, Aura."
"Good Morning. Sara made me do her art work early in the morning."
"That's great. You should've been really creative then." I could feel the sarcasm behind it.
"Yeah I made a portrait all by myself."
"You did?" He was obviously surprised.
"Nah! I'm just kidding."
"You got me." He replied.
"I have to get a dress from the 'Tanners'. If you would come with me I'd tell Mum to not come." 'Tanners' was a boutique at a little distance from our house. It was the best in town.
"Definitely. I'll come."
"Okay. Eleven o'clock." I said without even thinking.
"Okay-yo" He texted; I sent a smiley emoji back in response.
I went downstairs to see what Mum was up to. She had just stepped out of the bed. "Hey." She saw me peeping through the door. Her eyes were almost closed while her hairs were arranged like a bird's nest.
"How are you up so early? Or am I late?" She spoke through her sleepy face.
"I'm early. Sara had come over just a few minutes back." I said.
"Did she leave? Why didn't you tell me?"
"She was in a hurry for her exhibition. She came here to get some help on something." I said slowly because talking to Mum made me sleepy too.
She yawned and said, "Oh! So do you want anything?"
I heard Dad's snort suddenly. He has weird sleeping habits.
"Actually, I was wondering if I could cook today." Shyness depicted in every word I spoke.
"Are you really Aura?" She joked before she burst into laughter. "Just kidding. Do anything you want. But... make something edible." She commented.
I smiled my crooked smile at her and she kissed my hand only to disappear into the washroom. I had it clear in my mind. I will cook honey and chocolate syrup pancakes. But I don't know the recipe.
"Shit." I said in a low tone. So I wore my air pods and tuned into a pop-rock song. While I was listening I had placed my phone inside a clean and transparent bowl to see the recipe of pancakes. My phone was inclined to the bowl at a specific angle so it was easier to scroll it down whenever I needed to.
I brought the ingredients and kept them together on the table so that it would be effortless for me to grab whatever I want from a specific place. I mixed the ingredients required to make pancakes and started to make them. Simultaneously, I was dancing to the song playing in my ears.
When I was done layering the pancakes inside a casserole, I began making the chocolate syrup. I put some dark chocolate and milk in a double boiler. After it melted completely I gave it a stir and removed it from the double boiler to place it inside a small jar.
At the exact moment when I was about to call them, Mum and Dad came to the dining table and I immediately placed their breakfast for them.
"Wow. I hope they taste good." Dad said this because the appearance of my pancakes wasn't really very nice. I thanked myself for at least making them presentable.
I smiled nervously and sat down with them to eat it.
"It tastes good. They're not bad, Aura." Mum commented.
"Thanks but you can say the truth." I tried to be modest without even taking a bite.
"Take a bite, Aura. You'll know." Dad said.
I did so. It was actually very delicious. "I cannot believe that I made this." My eyes were wide enough to push my sleepy face away. I had also noticed that ever since I started spending time with Hale I got rid of my dark circles, although I still had the puffy eyes. I guess they're natural to me.
On finishing the breakfast I told Mum that I will be going to the 'Tanners' boutique with Hale. She agreed and told me to tell Hale to drive safe.
"Hello." Hale picked up the phone.
"Are you coming?" I asked him while checking my wall clock.
"I'm on my way." He replied.
"Okay." I hung up. I heard Mum's voice calling me. "Yeah?" I turned around to see her dangling on her way to make it to where I was standing. "Easy. Easy." I said.
"Tell Hale that he has to be there at the event tomorrow."
"What event?" I could not remember.
"Sara's exhibition!" Mum exclaimed. "Oh yeah... Right... Sorry..."
Honk. Honk.
It was Hale inside the car. He waved his hand towards me and Mum. "Good Morning Mrs. Anderson." He shouted aloud from the car.
"Good Morning Hale. Have a nice day... both of you."
I sat next to him and gave him a quick kiss. "Guide me." He said.
"Follow the maps on my phone." I said as I placed my phone on the phone case next to the steering wheel.
We were there within fifteen minutes. I took the dress from the boutique and got back to the car as Hale was waiting in it.
"What is this dress for?" He asked.
"I completely forgot. Em... tomorrow's Sara's exhibition and you have to come too. It's a grand event and she's the younger member to portray her artwork. It's really important for all of us. You have to come."
"Alright..." He was driving now. "Do I have to pick you up?" He chuckled.
"No... No... I'll go with Sara. She definitely needs company."
"And... now where do we go?" He asked. His voice was a few octaves lower.
"I am free today. I'm free always." I laughed a little. "Let's go... to the park."
"Which park? There are hundreds of parks in this country." He said.
"The one we went to when we-"
"Okay-yo, I get it." He cut me mid-sentence.
"Fine..." We both giggled through the way to the park.
***
We were sitting on the long grass in the park; resting our hands on the ground. The distance between us was too much to be comfortable in our own position.
"I wonder how it is for the dead." I was lying down on the grass next to him.
"They don't feel anything now." He replied.
"I'm talking about dying. The process... if it would hurt them." I whispered while looking at the sky.
"I think it's quick and you never get to realize how it happens." He put forward his opinion.
"Well, what about people who don't die at an instant. What about people who feel the pain and die slowly."
"I can't even imagine how much it would hurt them." He said and I turned my face in his direction.
"It's strange. This world is very strange. Everything in this world depicts peculiarity." I said with a sharp tone in my voice.
"What's strange?" He asked.
"We are born... then we die. And in between these two events we have a life. But nobody actually lives it. We're so stuck up facing our problems that we forget to even enjoy it."
"Who told you nobody lives it?" Hale asked as he turned his gaze towards me.
"No one told me, I realized it. I mean... Does it actually make any sense?"
"I don't understand you." He said.
I got up and sat down, my legs folded. He got up too.
"Take me as an example. Sometimes I just want to die and kill myself for not being compatible with this weird energy this world possesses against me. But I never did that. And that's because I want to see what happens with me. I want to know how my story goes. I want to know that before I die what are the possibilities that good things are gonna happen with me. I want to know that before I die am I ever gonna heal with all those wounds I have on my mind. I mean... I don't even know what's going to happen with me and still I want to live it through. That's crazy man. It's peculiar."
"It's a crazy world." He agreed; nodded too.
"It's really very strange. But it's a nice experience. Everyone should have it at least once." This induced giggles amongst us.
"I owe you." He said out of the blue.
"You what?" I asked, sounding confused.
"I owe you." We put a halt to the talk we had. "You've taught me something very important in life. You don't even realize how unusually great you are." He broke off into a little laugh. "You're amazing, Aura... Remember that night I tried to kill myself... I would've actually died. I owe you my life!" He paused again. I smiled. He took a deep breath. "Thank you Aura. Thank you so much."
We got back in our position with our heads up in the sky. Without speaking we felt each other. After going through the same things in life and facing those problems heroically, we had a lot to relate to each other. We were just two warriors who are still in a battle destined to lose one day. The day we lose our battle will be the day of our death and no one can deny it. But before dying we decided to fight for the happiness we want, for happiness is worth fighting for.
On our way back home, Hale got me a cheeseburger before dropping me back home. I had a text message from Sara asking me to come over at her house. I said that I was with Hale and he was about to drop me home. She said that it'd be great if he came along too.
"Okay. We'll be there in ten minutes." I said.
"Where do we have to go?" Hale said, amused.
"It feels like you're my driver." I joked.
"No... It feels like you give me a command and I have to follow it. It's not only driving." He giggled.
"Okay. Well, we have to go to Sara's house. She needs the both of us." My expression was more serious now.
"Alright, I'm driving." He started the engine when we got back to the car.
"Have you ever wondered about why you treat your Dad that way?"
"I'm sorry, what?" He did not pay attention as he was driving.
"Your Dad... Why do behave with him that way? You could just understand his situation." My voice was slow and at its lowest tone.
"It's him who despises me." He said aloud and paused. "I have always been the one to try to make things alright." He rolled his eyes.
"I'm not asking you about who is more hard working to make things alright. I am saying... if you could just step into his shoes and try to figure out why he feels that way." As I completed my sentence, he pulled over.
We sprung in front and then at the back.
"Look... I know how he must be feeling but, it's different on my side. I mean I was just a kid, right? Why the hell doesn't he think that I have also been suffering since the day Mum left us? I tried that 'putting myself in his shoe' thing but all I got was hate. He hates me." He said. I could feel the rage in his voice but he never tried to outburst on me.
"Then why is he even paying your therapist fee. Why has he provided you with an extremely expensive car to drive? Why? If you say he doesn't love you..." I puzzled him but he didn't seem to be.
"Oh no. He loves me as his son. But he hates me for making his wife die which I never even did by any means. He hates me for being the reason to make him grieve. But he loves me as his son so he provides the best to me." That's all he said. Silence filled the small place in the car.
"Let's go." I said.
He rang the bell and Sara opened the door. She jumped forward to hold me tightly in her arms. "God! I'm so nervous." She exclaimed, a bit too loud for my left ear to bear the sound. Hale chuckled as he stood on my right.
"Why?" I said when she finally left my body to let it breathe.
"What if no one likes my painting?" She said as we moved inside the house and sat on the couch of her living room. I comforted Sara while Hale sat on the other sofa.
"Why wouldn't anybody like it if you've been selected as the youngest member to represent it?" Hale questioned.
"That's the problem. I'm the youngest. It clearly means that I am the one with least experience. They're going to be people who have worked more than me to produce art for exhibitions like this." She made a cry face but never cried.
"You're going to kill it, Sara." I assured her and patted her on her shoulder.
"Yeah, someone's going to die. And that's me." She rolled her eyes before she actually shed tears.
"You're crying." I said vaguely.
"No, I'm not." She wiped the tiny tear and fought the urge to cry.
"What have you made? Tell us." Hale asked.
"It's a portrait." She whispered.
"A portrait? It did not seem like a portrait to me." I said aloud, my eyes open wide.
"It is a portrait. It's like... many pieces put together to form a picture." She replied with explanatory hand movements.
"You could've just made a normal large portrait. Why did you choose pieces?" Hale interrogated Sara with his confused mouth.
"Well, I'm an artist. I tend to overthink everything." She made herself clear and continued. "Pieces depict the different parts of your life; the high points and the low ones as well. It's a color combination of the rainbow and the black color put together in the form of a portrait. Each color represents life. Each piece represents life. Each Facial feature represents life. Everything just combines to depict life." She had shut our mouth with amazement.
"You're a pretty small girl with deep thoughts." Hale complimented her and she flushed but still slayed her outward confident look.
"So, who is it?" I asked.
"Who is who?" She was puzzled.
"The portrait..." I nodded. "Who is the person the portrait?" I bit my lip in my desire to get an answer.
"I don't know. It's just a random guy's face that popped into my head." She said.
"So there's no story behind it?" Hale questioned.
"No. I just made his picture because he was beautiful and it popped into my head as soon as I thought of 'what to draw'." She replied, nodding her head.
"Oh." I said and relaxed my body to rest my back on the couch as I was facing towards Sara.