All in my head

Day 4

Day 4: 23rd December 2018
I woke up on my bed with a shudder. I realized that I was glazed with sweat all over my body and my heart beat was super-fast. My body radiated heat that had managed to reach all over my bed. Not just my body but my bed was burning hot too.
I hopped outside of my bed quickly and searched through my drawer for my medicines which I had kept in case an emergency like this arrived. I did not wake up my parents. I wanted to handle it all by myself like a grown up girl. I wanted some lukewarm water to drink with the medicine so I went to the kitchen.
I grabbed my electric kettle and poured some fresh water from the tap. While the water was boiling I was scrolling through my Instagram which I hadn't done since a few days. My hands were trembling due to fever but I was focused to behave normal. I saw that one of my school friends had posted a picture with a guy which was captioned 'baby'. To be honest it was the worst thing to watch at that moment. I scrolled down really quick again and saw a photograph of my friend from college with his... friend! God wow!
I just put my phone aside instantly. My water was boiling now. The bubbles almost splashed on my skin when they burst inside the kettle after I had uncovered it. I poured some of the water into a glass and refilled the glass with some cold water to balance the temperature.
I drank it. Gulped with toil. Managed not to choke myself up. Took a pause. Again drank it until it was empty. Oh God!
I was sick, there was no doubt. But oh my my... I was a brave girl. I never intended to disturb anyone. I would always handle things on my own like a grown up. I retired to my bed room and tried to sleep. The next thing I knew was that I woke up at ten o'clock in the morning. I had to start decorating the Christmas tree today morning and I hadn't even started yet. Also, first I had to take a bath then eat breakfast and then wash the dishes and then carry on with my idea to decorate the Christmas tree.
After I had finished bathing I had to eat breakfast with my parents. Mum had cooked some beacon strips with a sandwich and coffee. I wore a pair of blue jeans and a loose fitting, white T-shirt over it.
"Are you planning to do the Christmas tree today?" Dad spoke as I sat on the chair in front of our dining table which was located just outside the kitchen. Our house was mostly white and brown in color. "Hopefully I'll wrap it up today itself." I ate my first bite.
"Do you have all the decorations ready? If you need more just tell me, I'll get it."
"It's okay; I've bought it all already. I won't need more." My voice was pale, without any sign of life in it.
After a long pause mum spoke. "I'm really excited this time. Sara's mother is going to be here too this time."
"I don't find anything particularly exciting in this." I scrunched my nose and my lips were in an arch which displayed my disappointment.
'She's going to be there for Christmas after a long time. Isn't that exciting for you?" Dad questioned.
"That woman barely cares about any of you. She just wants money." My voice was angry.
"She's your aunt. You're not supposed to speak that way for her. She has her own problems to face."
I made a face. "That lady is a mean woman who only cares about herself. She doesn't even call Sara."
"That's enough, Aura." Dad was controlling himself from bursting.
"She's evil. Why don't you guys get it?" My anger was at its peak now.
"There's nothing to get in this situation." Dad said.
"You know what? You guys are so stupid that you cannot see what deep shit you're into." I pointed my fingers to my forehead when I said the words 'deep shit'.
"You've sufficiently annoyed us today, Aura." I could not believe that Dad wasn't startled at all. He was definitely angry on me but he didn't show it in his tone. On the other hand, I was speaking my heart out.
"No matter what you do, I'm always going to hate that lady. I'm done, thank you for the breakfast." I wiped my mouth with the tissue paper kept in front of me. I realized that I had managed to complete my beacon and coffee but the sandwich was still on my plate, untouched.
I heard my parents quarrelling at the dining table. By the time they started talking behind my back about me, I had reached my bedroom. I could still hear them.
"Just be calm with her." Mum pointed out. Wow. I've got support. "I know she's a bit cranky but we got to handle it." Wow. I lost support.
"I know. But she has to learn to adjust with people." Dad added to what mum said earlier.
"I've seen her. She's trying her best." Mum's support for me was evident. I immediately made a special corner for her in my heart.
"Yeah I can see that. You're with her the whole day and that's the way you teach her to speak about her elders." Dad wasn't angry but he just had a lot to say.
"If I'm with her all day then it doesn't mean that she's going to be exactly like me. She's still figuring herself out."
"Yeah, I know. That's why she hasn't got any friends, right? She's a loner at college. No doubt her way of treating people has led to this." Okay. Now it had gone below the belt. How could Dad say this for me? I was so furious by what he had just stated that I barged into the kitchen again. Both of them were dumbstruck when they saw me in front of them.
"I'm not a loner." I softly spoke these words, looking directly into my father's eyes. I did not outcast my anger which was being suppressed by me in the hardest way. "I'm not decorating the tree. I'm goin out." That was feisty. I picked up the car keys which were hanging behind where I was standing and disappeared into thin air. I was in the garage. I could see that the stereo was dislocated and dumped on one corner of the garage. Never mind. I thought to myself. I opened the shutter and sat inside the car.
I inhaled a deep breath before I started the engine. My mind was filled with the argument we had a few minutes ago. I tried to let it all go away. Meanwhile the engine was running, I revved it up a little and then slowly left the clutch. I was driving! The car moved forward and I couldn't decide where to go. I just drove slowly by keeping to the extreme corner of the road. I was not in the mood for any accidents. There came a place with huge trees and I don't know what that place was called. I continued to drive non-stop. I felt like rushing up at the highest speed but I also thought of not dying. If I had been a better driver I'd have thought of it again. But it was a no that time.
One hour went smooth and I faced no difficulty, although I had a hard time controlling my tears. Even other cars on the road didn't terrify me. After that one hour my heart started to race up a bit. I was on a highway and the cars were speeding up like they do it in F1. I had another episode of that dizziness. Before I could even think of stopping and pulling over to one side of the road, my car smashed with a pole. I wasn't speeding up very fast so it did not do much damage to me or the car. A small dent appeared on the bonnet and nothing more. I was shocked at first and then I fainted as it always happens after an accident.
The next thing I knew what that I was at a hospital. No Christmas for me.