Reality Ruined My Fantasties

Day Fifteen

Dear Reader,

This week is Homecoming week. Being a freshman, I had no idea that my school would make this big a deal out of one football game and a dance. They even have a parade for the high school! And the pep rally, well that was interesting. Apparently, even though the staff is trying to keep us unified, the class all compete against each other. We compete to see who has the best signs, the loudest cheer, the cleverest comebacks, and little minute to win it games. I happened to be behind those "popular" boys that are too competitive. You know who I'm talking about; there's a group of them in every school. Competing gets old after a while. Maybe it's because I'm a modern hippie but c'mon guys, what's the point of screaming insults at the seniors until my throat burns? Or shunning the sophomores because they won something we didn't. I just don't see the point in it.

Anyways, I wanted to talk you about dreams again. I know I mention them often and most of the time they make no sense. But this isn't just a normal dream. This is a nightmare. Have you ever had those nightmares that shake you to your core? That leave you laying paralyzed because you're terrified it will come true? Or worse, you can't tell the difference between your nightmare and reality? That's what happens to me all the time. I have these terrible dreams that are so realistic I believe them myself. But my nightmares aren't your average "freshman shows up to school with no clothes" sort of thing. No, my dreams take an ugly twist. People die in my dreams. Sometimes it's me. Sometimes it's my family. Other times it's my friends. Even random strangers that I don't know die in my dreams. I don't why or what it means, but it's terrifying. After a dream like this, I normally lay in bed until five in the morning hoping that my body will shut down and force my head to sleep. It almost never happens. I've tried to tell my parents about this (not the nightmares, the whole not sleeping thing) but they don't understand how serious it actually is. Maybe no one takes me seriously. I know I wouldn't.

Another thing that shows up in my dreams are tornadoes. I live in the Midwest so tornadoes are kind've a big deal around here. I know people who have lost their homes, belongings, and in extreme cases, their lives. So why do these destructive winds show up in my dreams? According to my dad, when a tornado shows up in your dreams it means chaos. That's understandable because my life is ninety five percent chaos. But I don't know if that's why tornadoes show up in my dreams. Ever since I was little, I've been deathly afraid of tornadoes. I don't know which came first, my tornado like dreams or my fear of tornadoes, but one had to influence the other. Tornadoes represent death and destruction, at least that's what I think. I don't know maybe I'm wrong. I'm no expert. Life would be so much easier if I was.

I know this letter seems self-centered. I'm sorry, but I believe that some of my problems relate to you, Reader. You probably don't have tornadoes tearing through your dreams, but maybe something else. A flood, earthquakes, heights, tight spaces, or even death. Nightmares are scary things that no one should go through alone. Trust me, I know.

Sincerely Yours,

Rae 

"There are many who don't wish to sleep for fear of nightmares. Sadly, there are many who don't wish to wake for the same fear."
― Richelle E. Goodrich, Dandelions: The Disappearance of Annabelle Fancher