Reality Ruined My Fantasties

Day Thirty One

Dear Reader,

Butterflies. That feeling in your stomach that resembles a thousand tiny winged insects flying around. It feels like your stomach is flipping  upside down and you can't stop it.  The feeling you get before a bungee jump or before going on stage to preform. Also known as stage fright, jitters, and nerves.

I've had the feeling a lot lately.

Now I normally hate to discuss my love life with you Reader, because I dislike the idea of being obsessed with one person. So I won't write about my awkward teenage crush. But I can write about butterflies.

They hit me all the time. Walking down the hallway, giving a presentation, or maybe when I'm talking to someone I deem to be better than me. They hit me so hard today, that I still have butterflies from eleven this morning. They just don't go away. And I don't even have to be in a nerve wrecking situation. I just think about it and suddenly my stomach is doing  cartwheels. But I've noticed there are two different types of butterflies: scared nervous, and happy nervous. Scared nervous is that feeling you get before a presentation that you're not prepared for, or when you're walking down a dark alley. Happy nervous is totally different. It's the butterflies at the top of a roller coaster, or when you see your crush smile. Lately, I've had both forms of butterflies. Finals are coming up and I'm so nervous. My mother is always worried about something and she's started to pass that down to me. But the difference between us is that when I get panicked, I sit down and breathe deeply until I feel calm. Or I shake it off (no pun intended...well maybe it was intended).
Reader if you find yourself having butterflies, just ask yourself if they're happy or scared butterflies. Or maybe  both. 
Sincerely,
Rae
"Butterflies are always following me, everywhere I go." - Mariah Carey