Blank Canvas

March 3, 2019

Alone in the Woods

There were more times than one, where Livia just wished she was alone forever. No one seemed to take notice of her anyways. Her odd complexion, and hunched spine, which had been helped little by little in therapy.

You'd think her world revolves around her. Constant doctors appointments, her parents fawning over her, making sure she isn't being hurt. Unable to speak, Livia was in constant supervision. But yet, she felt completely alone.

At night, when she laid in bed, she imagined a place. A place so peaceful, quiet, and serene, where only she could go, and be normal.

Every time Livia imagined this place, it was a forest. With the tallest trees, and singing birds. She could smell the realness of the freshly fallen rain, still dripping from the leaves above her.

In this fantasy, she didn't imagine herself broken, and incapable. She imagined herself with long, raven hair, straight to the touch that reached just past her rear end. Her back, was not hunched, but straight, and she could walk and run without having pain.

With this, she wore knee high socks and hiking boots. A plain white t-shirt and overall shorts, with cap. Like a baseball cap, one she only dreamed of wearing.

Her thoughts lead her around the forest. Curious of everything and anything, she stopped to look at butterflies, frogs, deer passing by. She climbed trees, and just closed her eyes to listen to the birds.

Water droplets continued to fall on the tip of her nose, and goosebumps covered her arms. Or what, she imagined goosebumps would feel like.

She was the only one in that forest, besides the animals, which she didn't mind. Livia, in this world, could not talk, because she was unsure of even how to. To form the letters on her tongue, were very foreign, but she imagined her saying things aloud, and the animals understanding. Without her even opening her mouth.

This of course, she hoped would not just be a fantasy. She wished that this happened in the real world. Where instead of wearing pink, and sweatpants, with slippers. And instead of her having a green wheelchair, she'd be able to use the legs she was given.

Tears streamed from Livia's closed eyelids, as she continued to wander about the forest.

She came across a tree, a very large tree. The trunk was about fifteen feet around, and there were branches from her hip level all the way to the top of the tree. So, what did she do? She climbed it.

Her imagined heart racing, and her legs feeling energized, and a smile crossing her face. She felt the warm, thick breeze from the overhang of the freshly fallen rain.

Once she got to the top of the tree. She exhaled through her mouth, and smiled upon the view. A gorgeous view of the tops of trees, and the sunset across the horizon. Like a painting that hung on her mothers living room wall.

She reached her hand upward, and a small bird landed on it. Only imagining what it would feel like to feel the small talons of a bird on her fingertips. She didn't mind the feeling.

Can I take you home with me? She thought whispered to the small yellow finch, she recognized it as. As soon as she said that, the finch flew off.

And once the finch flew, Livia awoke from her fantasy, with tears pouring from her eyes. And no one would know the reason. That all she wanted to be, was alone in the woods.