Aftermath

Chapter 2

The next few days flew by rather uneventful. Freddy tried to remain focused on his work and other jobs that needed tending to but all he could think about was Larry and their practically nonexistent relationship. He wanted so badly to prove how remorseful he was for doing what he did. To prove that he regretted ever taking the job despite knowing it was for the sake of justice on his part. He wished he could go back and change it — make it to where he never met Larry so there would be no reason to be this torn up about it. He was sure that he had never been this unproductive in his life and he was trying his best to hide it but his co-workers could tell. He was usually one of their best workers on the force but that couldn't exactly be said now.

Freddy sits in his office, going over some case files when his co-worker, Holdaway, lets himself in.

"Sup, Freddy? How's life treatin' you?" He asks nonchalantly. Freddy doesn't respond, mostly because he had been so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn't noticed him come in.

Holdaway places a hand atop the files his friend stares at to get his attention and this seems to snap him out of it. Looking up at the other man, he blinks a few times.

"O-Oh, Holdaway. I didn't hear you come in, man—" he says quickly.

"Didn't hear me come in?? I just said somethin' to you. Are you deaf or somethin?" Holdaway asks rhetorically. "Listen," he leans in, lowering his voice. "you've been actin' different ever since that undercover case you took. I get it, you got shot twice and that's some pretty traumatizing shit...bein' around all those criminals and whatever the hell else ya went through but you're an officer, man. This is what you signed up for. You recovered great and you're lookin' better that ever." He says, gesturing to Freddy. "So what's the deal? Ya got somethin' on your mind?"

Freddy just stares as his friend speaks and his eyes dart off to the side. He moves his hand to scratch behind his own ear. It's obvious he's nervous. "Nah... nah, I'm fine. Just been feeling a little sick lately, but....I'm fine."

Holdaway had been a good friend of his for a long while and he could tell when Freddy was lying. He was one of the people who taught the guy how to pull off a convincing lie in the first place and it was obvious to him that at this point, Newandyke wasn't even trying.

"Geez, man, if you're gonna lie atleast put it in a little effort. C'mon," he nudges Freddy with his hand. "What is it? Stress? Was there a death in the family?" He quirks a brow curiously. "Relationship issues? You know you can talk to me, Freddy." He tells him.

"Not exactly...it's—" Freddy hesitates. He wanted to tell Holdaway. Truly. But he knew he couldn't. The other man would think he was insane. He'd be a joke among police departments everywhere (assuming Holdaway took to spreading this information). His friend was known for keeping secrets so he doubted that would be the case but even so, with this sort of information, he couldn't be to careful.

"It's...stress." Freddy lies, chewing on his lower lip nervously.

"Stress? Well, shit, Freddy, why didn't ya say so? We can give you some time off and you can take a nice little vacation to clear your head and—"

"N-No!" Freddy interrupts him and then quickly realizes he had spoken maybe a little too hastily. "Uhh, I mean...no. I'm fine. I'll be fine."

"Dude, you're clearly over workin' yourself. It's fine. If you can't perform at the best of your ability then we ain't got no use for you around here and I mean that in the nicest way possible." Holdaway insists.

Shaking his head, Freddy releases a sigh before straightening up the paperwork he had been examining before tucking them back into their original folder. "I.... hadn't realized I was being such a set back. I get where you're coming from." He says, laying the folder down and flashing his friend a slight smile.

"Look, I've just been a little stuck on that undercover case. I know it's been months and it's all said and done but it's still fucking with my mind, you know? I think I might need a little closure or something." He gives a shrug of his shoulders and Holdaway listens thoughtfully.

"I get you. But what d'ya mean by closure? I mean, most of the guys in that bust were killed. We've got two in custody but that's it; you know that. What exactly do you expect to gain from that?"

Another shrug. "I don't know. Maybe if I talk to them or something, it'll clear my head of... whatever the fuck is going on inside of it?" He suggests though it looks to Holdaway like he's unsure. In truth, he wants to speak to one of the prisoners about something specific and it had nothing to do with business...but Holdaway didn't need to know that much.

Holdaway considers it for a moment before giving a shrug of his own. "You're your own man, Newandyke. If you feel like it'll getcha back to concentrating on your work then have at it." He says. "But I'd be careful if I were you. Those fellas ain't to fond of you after you busted 'em like you did." He stands, giving Freddy a firm pat on the shoulder and then a gentle squeeze. He smiles at his friend. "Ya did what you had to do and I'm proud of you for pullin' through for us."

Freddy gives a small smile back. His friends words meant a lot to him but in this case, the warning meant more to him than the appreciative words of gratitude.