Insomnia

12

Roman POV

I was pacing back and forth in my room, deep in thought. But also, somehow anxious. Don't know why, I'm a prince! Prince's are never anxious, never! But then again...

It's been a while since I've seen Virgil, or even hear from him. I wish I knew what's going through his mind. Better yet, I want to tell him the truth.

The truth, as to why I always pick on him. The truth, as to why I give him so many nicknames. The truth as to why I can't stop thinking about him!

Because I've fallen in love with him!

"Wow, you look like you were sleeping on clouds," a rude sarcastic insult bellowed. Deceit.

"What do you want? Can't you see I'm not in the mood." I said in a hateful tone.

It's already bad enough, that I look like shit. I hadn't been sleeping very well lately.

"You know he doesn't feel the same," the slimy snake said with a smile. "Why do you think he's been avoiding you all this time? Maybe it's from what you did to him."

I looked at him confused, all I remember was two things. One, when I accidentally kissed him, which I don't and kinda do regret. Two, when I said.... Oh god.

"Finally figured it out huh?" Deceit smiled, looking like a demonic version of Cheshire cat. "I guess there's nothing you can really do."

"You're wrong!" I yelled. "And I'm gonna prove it, you deceitful bastard!"

I stormed out of my own room, rushing to Virgil's.

There's no way he's telling the truth at all! He's deceit for fucks sake, HE'S ALWAYS LYING!

So here I was, standing in front of a purple and black door, known as Virgil's room.

Well. Here goes nothing.

I knocked on the door, waiting for a response. But instead, I heard a loud crash coming from inside.

"Virgil." I yelled, "are you okay?"

"Y-yeah. I-I'm fine."

His voice sounded shakey, as if he was scared. Was he scared of me?

Virgil POV

*Warning: this following segment, will have blood, too much vulgar language, negative thoughts/statements, and self harm.

If you are sensitive or easily triggered, skip this segment.

Thank you, stay safe ❤️*

"When will the torture end?" I asked myself. I was laying down in bed, as if anything would happen. I haven't had sleep for 3 days now, soon to be 4. And it sucks!!!

I'm anxious as hell, because of the things. Number one, Thomas is constantly meeting deadlines and I've been working overtime.

Number two, I'm still not over the whole, 'hot crush kisses you' incident. And yes I've had a crush on him for a while now. But I already know he doesn't like me that way, in fact he probably was pulling a prank or something on me.

Number three, I'm fucking paranoid because of that snake bastard, Deceit. He knows nearly every one of my secrets. I'm afraid of what he'll blab about.

But I know he's certain of a few of them, like there are times where I wear, another genders clothes. But not out in public!

Another one, is that I have a crush on Roman. That one was a no brainier for him apparently. Just look at him, in his Royal outfit. That practically perfect hair style, those perfect sparkling eyes. And that nice as-

SNAP OUT OF IT! GET YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT!

One that I know that he knows, is me not only being anxiety. But is also the cause of Thomas not sleeping well. And whenever I feel worthless or just a bother to everyone, I 'relieve' the pain.

What did you expect?

Huh?

You're the cause of everyone's pain and misery.

I sighed, I head to my bathroom, doing my usual thing.

I don't even argue with it anymore, I subconsciously do this all the time now. Go to the bathroom, grab my razorblade, and cut my arms and legs. I practically do it every day, without thinking twice.

So I grabbed my razorblade from the glass soap holder thing, and started making cuts in my arms. After I few cuts, I stopped. I looked down at one arm, seeing a spot that isn't cut.

It's where doctors would put IVs or draw blood from you, yeah that part.

Cut it open

What? No! You crazy?! That would kill me!

Exactly. That means no more pain, no more suffering.

I'm anxiety, I'll suffer either way. Besides, I'm still important to some.

Are you? Are you really?

I didn't like the thought of that.

So you're saying you have a purpose of being here, of being alive. Well, YOU'RE WRONG!

shut up

We both know, that none of the sides like you. Pranks likes to make a fool out of you, so does Missy.

Shut up, you're wrong.

Logan sees you as more of an asset to Thomas, than another human being. I bet if he didn't see you as helpful, he would've thrown you into a ditch to die!

I said shut up!

Let's not forget Patton, he only sees you as a son. You know, like it's his JOB to protect and love you. Pathetic

I swear to God

And as you can obviously tell, Roman doesn't give a shit about you. I bet he wishes to kill you, and have no regrets. And let's face it, He WiLl NeVEr LoVE yOu!!!

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

I banged on the bathroom sink, and heard a loud crash. As if it was glass, and it was. A large shard of glass from the soap thing, pierced through my arm.

Oh god oh god oh god! What do I do?! What do I do?! WHAT DO I DO?!

"Virgil!"

I flinched, wincing from the glass cutting at the inside of my arm. I pulled out the glass shard, biting down on my lip, to prevent myself from screaming in pain.

"Are you okay?"

I recognized that voice, it's Roman!

FUUUUUUUCK!!!

"Y-yeah. I-I'm fine."

No. I wasn't. I just pulled out a shard of fucking glass out of my arm, and bleeding out! I'm freaking out.

Got it patch this up fast!

So I scavenger for my emergency first aid kit, it has all the necessaries. Once found, I threw it on my bed and quickly grabbed one of my towels.

I started applying pressure on the opening, wrapping then tying tight. So no more blood would spill out. Didn't work, blood was sleeping through the fabric.

Fuck it. I quickly ran to my bed, opening the box, searching for the thread and needle.

"What the hell happened?"

I quickly looked up, and I went pale. Not only from blood loss, but from who was standing in front on me. Roman.