More Thoughts & Feelings

i still remember

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

I still remember waiting by the window

As the cars drove by...

Waiting for you to arrive.

Because I believed you would,

I believed your words.

Why ever would I not?

But day after day

No one came.

I watched the neighbors have fun.

Days turn to weeks,

Weeks turn to months.

I was too young.

I could never understand why you wouldn't show

But at some point, my trust in you broke.

I learned not to believe, I learned not to open up,

I learned to build walls and every door I shut.

You'll never know what blessings your lies were

Because I now know when truth is real,

I now know when I'm being deceived.

I'm a grown woman with strong discernment.

Nothing gets past me, not even for a moment.

I'm clever and astute,

And thanks to you

I was saved from the poison of my family history.

I'm no longer bitter,

I hold no resentment,

But I want you to know

This pain didn't go away in a day.

It took years of disappointments,

Days of doubt,

Cries in silence,

And months of drought

To learn to grow up and protect my heart.