Kitchen Sink

Think Things on the Brink of Blasphemy

Back again with another chapter! i know i haven't updated in a while because school and stuff. So i was wondering if i should introduce josh into here? idk but it's way easier to focus on one character. lemme know if you want jish the fish in here ok? (if anyone is reading...)

I carefully slid between the piano and the the small stool, and sat down on the cool, smooth leather. A thin layer of dust had settled on the piano, coating the instrument in a thin sheet of grey. 

I quietly opened up the heavy lid to reveal gleaming ivory-black keys, reflecting the little light from the top of the stairs. My pointer finger glided soundlessly across the top of the keys, staring at D flat. It was as if i was about to play a scale.

'No', I sharply told myself. You know what will happen. Because your still not ready. But will i ever be ready? I already knew the answer.

Yet i still remained sitting there motionless, in the dark of the basement with just myself my thoughts and the piano. Usually i would only feel one of two common emotions; the insufferable weight of sadness or frustration, rarely both. But this time it was something different, a mixed feeling to the point where i didn't know how to describe it. It was almost emptiness, a hollow, starved feeling but at the same time there was a need that i didn't know what it was. And it scared me. I suddenly sprang up from the seat, causing it to topple over behind my.

I loud bang! errupted behind me of the sound of wood hitting wood, disruping the eery quiet that had fell across the room. My legs finally kicked into action and i ran, running across the room. 

The once cool air had now become hot and thick like smoke, clogging my throat as i struggled to breath. My heaving breaths were adding to the panic of my situation. It was happening all over again, only this time i was further away from my nightstand. The tears and fears began to multiply, as the blinding light at the top of the basement stairs was becoming nearer. 

One foot in front of the next, i stumbled and tripped up each stair until i finally made it to the top. The light was blinding compared to comfortable darkness of my basement, and i had to squint my eyes to because of the harsh, bright light. As i ran up the carpeted stairs towards my bedroom i noticed how everything around me was blurred, almost blended together in a cloudy mix of colours through the dark lengths of my eyelashes. I didn't know if it was from the tears or my distorted vision, but getting back to my nightstand, to my freedom, seemed as if i was wading through an endless sea of mud, slowing me down as my feet continue to sink deeper into it.

Running through the doorframe of my bedroom, my feet shuffled hastily across the floor to the nightstand, or rather the single draw in it to find it; my brief escape almost like an addictive hit of drugs.

I held my breath as my shaking fingers floor across the bottom of my draw, my desperation only increasing when i couldn't find the razor blade. What had i done with it?!  no, this isn't the time, i need it, i need it now!  The steady stream of tears was dripping of my chin and soaking the collar of my shirt, not showing any signs of it diminishing.

My legs gave way under me, leaving me crumpling into a pathetic ball on the floor. 'Just block it out, block out the world around you and it'll be fine. It'll be ok. It'll be ok.'  I repeated those three words over and over again, almost muttering it to myself and have it gliding of my tongue in an endless cycle. My eyes were tightly sealed shut, trying to block the drops of water that fell from the corners of my eyes. 

My heart was still hitting the front of my chest at a fast, rhythmic pace but at least it had slowed down a little from a few minutes ago.

My forehead was still pressed firmly against my forearms, shielding me from the outside world. My knees why pressing against my stomach at an uncomfortable angle but my body was too tired to entertain the thought of moving. Exhaustion had claimed my body, something that always seemed to happen to me during the day but suddenly dissipate when night fell.

The darkness under my hoods of my eyelids was comforting and so peaceful, why couldn't i just give in to the slumber my body was begging me for? Because i knew what would happen.

But my brain wasn't working properly at the moment, even though it really never did, and i eventually let myself fall into the deathly darkness of sleep.

I finally got another chapter down! i started this a couple of days ago, but honestly couldn't be bothered to finish this. I struggled to write this shitty chapter because i've got all the ideas down in my head, but when i try to apply it into writing it just doesn't work. BUT ANYWAYS, hope you enjoyed i guess?

also, is anyone else literally dying for season 2 of the umbrella academy to come out?