Forgive or Forget

Chapter One

Why me? Why did I have to be the one fighting constantly for your love? What is it that she have that I don't!

Heather Headley "Always been your girl" played on the stereo as I sat on the floor of the master bedroom, tears flowing down my face. I couldn't stop crying as I thought about losing the man that I loved for six years. I glanced at the photo on the dresser of the two of us together. What went wrong? How could one day we would be so in love and the next be strangers in our own home? I found myself with so many unanswered questions as I cried myself to sleep on the floor.

It was Friday morning and the rays of the sun woke me up from my pity party that I had on the floor the night before. I got up from the floor and my eyes went to the undisturbed bed. It didn't come as a surprise when I realized he hadn't came home last night. I sighed and headed for the bathroom. I looked myself over in the oversized mirror. From my jet black hair to my brown eyes that had become swollen from crying, to my smooth chocolate complexion.

"C'mon Lauren, you need to get yourself together." I said to myself as I stood in the mirror before I started to tend to my usual morning rituals.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel. Steam escaped the bathroom as I opened the door, heading to the bedroom to put on some clothes. Upon entering the room I saw Marcus sitting on the bed with his face buried in this hands. He lifted his head up and we stared in each others eyes until he looked away, casting his gaze on the white walls. I walked over to the dresser and fumbled through the clothes. I could feel his gaze on my plus size frame as I stepped into a pair of blue jean shorts and a black top. I turned to leave the room after I got dressed. I wanted so bad to ask where he layed his head at last night but decided against it and left the room peacefully, closing the door behind me.

I went to the living room and sat on the red sofa chair and began to surf the TV channels. It wasn't long before Marcus came strolling into the living room and sat in the twin lounge chair across from me. He stared in his phone. It annoyed me that he hadn't noticed me since he came home. It had been about three days and we haven't addressed our issues. He looked up from his phone and began to stare in my direction.

"Lauren, I'm sorry." He said out of the blue.

I glared at the TV as he spoke not once looking in his direction.

"Who is she?" I asked.

"It doesn't matter."

I turned my focus to him. I wanted him to see the expression of hurt on my face.

"It doesn't matter? It does matter Marcus! How could you let some random bitch come between us?"

I stood up from the sofa.

"And then say it doesn't matter! Six years together and you abandon it for some flusie!"

I could feel the hot tears streaming down my face.

"Who is this bitch Marcus!" I screamed at him. "Who is the bitch!?"

He bolted from his chair and stated one unforgettable word..

" I said it doesn't matter Sharen!"

"I mean Lauren."

He said as he realized what had just escaped his lips. I couldn't believe what I had just heard as I stood in place. He approached me and tried to hold my hand but I snatched away.

"Sharen huh?" I said as I stared upon his regretful face.

"Lauren baby.." He began .

"Really Marcus?" "Really?" I said as I looked at him.

I grabbed my keys and phone off the table and headed for the door.

"Lauren!"

he called after me but I slammed the front door.

I hopped in my car and immediately sped off. I had no clue where I was going but all I could think about was Marcus calling me the name of his mistress. I pulled in the parking lot of a near by park and cut the car off. My phone began to vibrate in the passenger seat. It was Marcus. I wasn't about to answer. There was nothing more to say. It was only 4:00 in the afternoon and I didn't plan on sitting in the parking lot all afternoon but I didn't want to go home either. I got out of the car, leaving the phone inside and began to take a stroll.

"Maybe some fresh air could help." I said to myself knowing damn well that was an understatment.

I practically spent all afternoon at that damn park. When I got back into my car I saw that I had 12 missed calls, all but one was from Marcus. I grabbed my phone strolling past the calls missed by Marcus until I reached the only one that wasn't from him. It was Stacy, my best friend. I sent her a text.

Me: You won't believe the shit that happened today, I'm omw to you. 6:40 pm

Stacy: Okay love, I'll be looking out for you. 6:42pm

I started up my car and headed over to Stacy's house. Stacy and I have known each other since grade school. We were grown women now but Stacy has always been someone I could confide in. She is my diary, my sister, my counselor.. basicly my everything.

I pulled up in Stacy's two bedroom home. Stacy and I are the same age twenty five with no kids. She is 5'5 in height and weights about 130. She reminded me of the actress Megan Good because they favored in so many ways. Stacy stood in the doorway as I got out the car meeting me halfway.

"What's up?, What happened?" We walked inside the house to talk.

"It's Marcus.."

"What the hell did he do?" "Did he hit you?"

"No Stace, he slipped and called me the name of his fucking mistress."

"Damn Lauren, that shit is fucked up."

Stacy began to rub my back.

"I know, I don't know what the hell I'm going to do. I can't stand to look in his face and I damn sure don't want to talk to him. that's why I haven't answered his calls."

"Do you know the bitch or have you seen her?"

"Nah. I don't know what he sees in her or what she has that I don't. I mean, I do all the shit a girlfriend is suppose to do." tears began to roll down my face.

"Oh no, uh uh, you are not about to start with this low self esteem shit Lauren. Hell no, not on my watch." The fuck you crying for, look at you .. you can have any man you want. Marcus is a fool if he let you go."

I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand.

"I know Stace but I don't know what I'm competing with, far as I know the bitch could be a London Charles a.k.a Deelishis look alike ."

"Well there's only one way to find out."

Stacy ran into the bedroom and threw on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top and came back into the living room, slipping on her sandals.

"Wait Stacy, what are you about to do?"

She grabbed her keys from the table.

"C'mon we're taking my car."

she said as she strutted out the door. I followed behind.