Lighter

s i x

i'd be lying if i told you
losing you was something
i could h a n d l e . . .

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"Okay, so we still need bread, milk, snacks for your lunches, Aunt Farrah's tea, and toilet paper," I read from the list of items written in my phone, the tiny font blurring and making my eyes cross.

"And ice cream?" Haleigh suggested sheepishly.

"Sure. Whatever kind you want," I told her with a laugh, and she cheered to herself.

I guided our stuffed cart through the grocery store to the aisle with paper products, searching for the 24-pack of toilet paper rolls we always get. "Oh sweet, and it's on sale!" I gasped when I spotted it. Haleigh grabbed the giant package for me and slid it on the tray underneath the cart, and we were off to the snack aisle next. "You excited for your last year of middle school, Hales?"

"I guess." She just shrugged at my question.

"What do you mean, 'you guess'? You're finally starting high school next year!" I knocked her with my elbow, getting a small chuckle out of her.

"Yeah." Her voice was small as she rounded the corner with me and glanced at all the cookies, crackers, chips and such in front of us. "But it's probably not going to be any different than middle school. We're just going to be considered 'high schooler's' instead."

Shaking my head, I released a deep breath. "Hales, I don't know where you came from, but I really wonder sometimes if you're actually a part of this family," I said, reaching forward to grab a pack of peanut butter crackers.

"Same here," she muttered, and I sent her an appalled look over my shoulder. She giggled at me and skipped ahead, leading the way to get the requested tea bags of choice from our aunt.

Since my dad and Aunt Farrah are usually busy doing everything to keep our family sane, they don't always have time to go grocery shopping. Here and there if it's a necessity, they'll stop and get some things, but it's rare that they take a big trip to get everything we need. That's why it's up to Haleigh and I.

On the weekends when we're both around, we go to the store and get all that we need to restock our house. Haleigh enjoys it because she gets to pick out all the things that she likes, and I don't mind it either because it means spending quality time with my baby sister. Our seven-year age gap doesn't falter our relationship – half of the time, I forget how young she actually is. The girl is so wise beyond her years.

To be honest, Haleigh wasn't supposed to be here. She was more of a surprise than anything. Our parents really only wanted one kid, and they certainly weren't expecting the pregnancy that came out of nowhere after I was already born, quite some time prior. The whole family was astounded when indeed, Leigh and William were having another little girl.

I couldn't have been more excited to welcome Haleigh into our lives when I found out about her. Cheyenne has always been like a sister to me, but Haleigh actually is one, and I knew I'd love her with all my heart for the rest of my days.

The one drawback to her birth is that my mom didn't get to appreciate her new daughter for as much as she would have liked to. Haleigh was only three years old when our mom died.

That's mostly the reason why Haleigh is a lot, a lot, more stable than I am. I was ten at the time, so I'd gotten to know my mom well enough, got to spend more time with her than my sister did. Haleigh doesn't really remember her, just the promise that we did have an angel for a mother. I, on the other hand, was older and understood exactly what happened. And man, it fucked me up good.