In A New Life [Lams]

Chapter 20: The Feeling of Forever

That weekend was the last weekend of 2016, as well as the last weekend of break.  I was spending New Year's with John, Lafayette, and Hercules all at my house.  George didn't want us to not be at the house.  He also claimed to have actually wanted to spend it with me.  In all honesty, I didn't mind that so much.  If we were at John's house, I would not have been able to kiss him when the ball dropped.  His dad would have been home, shockingly enough.

And as much as I love them, Herc and Laf's houses were also out of the question.  Neither of their mothers really liked me.  They found out I was Washington's adoptive son and they both assumed I would be, like, trying to get their kids expelled or something.  I didn't want to make them uncomfortable, and I certainly didn't want to feel like a hostage while trying to hang out with my friends.  They meant everything to me.  So, George's house it was.

George had been particularly impressed by my Halloween decorating skills, so he had allowed me to decorate for New Year's.  It was significantly toned down, but I personally thought I killed it.

I had put up some black and gold streamers up around the house.  I blew up a bunch of balloons and tied them together in balloon bouquets.  I left little party hats and the paper noise makers you blew into on a bunch of different tables.  We had also gotten a load of various snacks and cheesy 2017 glitter glasses that George always claimed were weird.  He tried to throw up many different arguments, but I refuted every one of them.  Eventually, he just gave up and we ended up getting five.  One for each of us kids and an extra one for Washington.

George came up behind me as I was admiring my work.  A gentle hand was laid on my shoulder.  His other hand rested on my back.  "Good job, kiddo."

He backed away, but a ghost of his hand stayed behind, still rested on my shoulder.  That was one of the few times that George had ever verbally confirmed that he was proud of me.  Of course I was going to soak it all in.  His praise was especially important to me.  Despite my grades being good because I actually did my work and studied, I was constantly in trouble.  That's what stuck out in his head when he thought of me.  I thought of it, too.  I was ashamed of it.  I just wanted him to be proud of me.  I was determined to get it, no matter what it took.

I could see how nervous he was.  A bounce was added to his standing posture.  Washington was a formal man, not one to be caught balancing on the balls of his feet if he couldn't contain his nervous energy.  Well, it was also that he was actively squeezing a stress ball in his left hand, to the point where his knuckles were white.

He confided in me once and told me a secret I never would have expected to hear from him,  He told me the last party he'd "hosted" was a Christmas party with Martha, and they were rocky then.  It was just before she had left him.  The party had not gone over well.  They fought in front of their guests.  Martha ended up crying and leaving the party to go cool off.  Everyone had heard the screaming match.  When Washington had returned, no one knew what to say, so slowly one-by-one, they all left.  He was afraid of hosting another party in case that happened again.  I was doing everything I could to make sure this night went over smoothly.  I was willing to do that for him.  He deserved it after everything he had done for me.

--

Our guests arrived not long after I had finished setting up.  I was just futzing around with the TV when Laf (the first to show) was perched on my doorstep.  I opened the door so he could come in, and he sniffed the air.  I supposed he smelled the mini hot dogs and macaroni and cheese bites.  He practically floated over to the dining room table before he promptly began to inhale every last bit of food we had put out.  

I couldn't help it.  He made me laugh.  When he glanced at me while quizzically munching on a chip I couldn't answer.  I only doubled over in a harder laugh.  When it came to my French friend and food, the guy was a fiend.  I had never seen anyone eat as much as him.  I just found it really funny that he walked in, not saying a word, and immediately went to eat.  He swallowed what he had been chewing on, and he looked at me innocently.  "What, is the food not meant to be eaten?"

I waved him off.

"Where is everyone, anyways?"

"You're the first to arrive, so your guess is as good as mine."  As soon as that phrase left my lips, John and Hercules came bounding in.

"ATTENTION!  THE PARTY HAS ARRIVED!  That is all, you may return to your previously engaged activities now," announced Herc, taking an exaggerated bow.

John leaned against the wall, crossing his legs at the ankles.  "So, what have you been up to?  We miss much?"

"Not particularly," I shrugged.  "Just Lafayette stuffing his face like the Frenchman he is."

"Hey!" he protested.  "I must absorb the flavor!  It is my job as the French representative.  Make sure that the food is good enough for the tongue of the French."

"Ah, sure," I teased, "you the designated taste tester?"

I moved to the right before Lafayette could smack me in the stomach with the back of his forearm.  Upon missing, he pouted and pet his tummy lovingly.  "Don't listen to what the dirty American says about you, mon amour.  Je t'aime.  He's just jealous of you."

"Yo!" Herc called, "Alex, are you doing anything specific at this party or what?"

"Um. . ."  I was at a loss for words as the blanket of panic fell over my body.  I had been so wrapped up in decorating for the event, I had entirely forgotten to plan actual things for us to do.  Thankfully, my friends were all really good sports about everything.

--

We had mostly goofed around, just joking around like old friends did.  Washington brought down an old version of Apples to Apples he had and allowed us to play.  We sat around in front of the television as the minutes ticked by, 2016 flying through us, never to be relived.

We joked about Ryan Seacrest and about Fergie.  We sang along horribly to the songs that we pretend we know by heart as we lay down innocent answers.  That.  That was what I had wanted for so long.  I finally had it.  I didn't want to let it go, I was hoping that I would have been able to freeze this moment in time forever, but I couldn't.  That's not how life worked.

I felt great during all of that time.  All of the bad feelings escaped me.  I forgot about all my problems with Burr and with Jefferson and Eliza, I forgot about my dead mother, my cousin that couldn't handle the responsibility of me, or my deadbeat dad who dropped off the face of the earth when he found out my mom was pregnant.  I forgot I was adopted.  I was just me.  I was simply Alexander Hamilton.

And that was who I was when the ball dropped and the world progressed.  It became 2017 and my lips were pressed to the lips of my love.  We were only fourteen, but I knew I loved him.  I knew that that was what I wanted my forever to feel like.

And for those couple of breathtaking moments, I was simply Alexander Hamilton kissing John Laurens.

A/N:

HOLY SHIT IT"S OVER!!!
I know this has taken me so fucking long to get up and I am so so sorry about that, but you no longer have to worry about me abandoning this story whoO!! 

I will likely not really be on Wattpad as much anymore, but I am on archiveofourown a lot, so if you want to hit me up over there, or check out my stuff over there, you can: my user is InsecurelyPerfect.

I hope you enjoyed this story.  I had a lot of fun writing it, even if I had MONTH long periods where I wasn't posting.