Chasing Pavements

First Kiss

(Disclaimer : FICTION. Okez? Thank you so much for reading, itutuloy ko ito promise pasensya na sa tagal ng updates, lubog sa realidad pero lumalabaaaaan!)

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"Go on.." Dr. Villa says, listening intently to what she is saying.

"Back in high school, Alden was a few batches ahead of me, right? When he was on Senior High, he took me to their grad ball. I was in 2nd year then... I was the talk of the town, again. I remembered that night. We were slow dancing, and people were staring at us, at the popular guy, and the new girl. But it was only with him that I felt so comfortable, that nothing else mattered in the world but us. He told me to just look at him, and we talked while we were dancing."

"So you two were close in high school?"

"Yes, we became close a year before then. Doc. Di pa uso ang cellphone nun. So nagbababad kami sa landline. He'd call me every night since he knew that we were going in the same school. Pero hindi kami nagpapahalata sa school nun, because he didn't want others to talk about us."

"So you think he was trying to protect you?"

"Yes, in a way. Bawal din kasi sa school na mag boyfriend of course, although never naman syang nagtanong kung pwede nya akong maging girlfriend. Plus, being the popular guy, every girl in school wanted him. And he knew that if they knew I was with him, they might make my life miserable. But we were close, exchanging letters, landline conversations that went on for hours. I knew him, and he knew me."

"And then? You were saying about that night at the prom?"

"Well, he promised my dad we'd be home by 9pm, and he intended to keep it. He parked his car in front of our house, and held my hand.... He was graduating then, and he was going away for college. He was being sent abroad by his parents to study IT."

Maine continues. "He held my hand, and told me, 'Maine. Alam ko magkakalayo tayo. But that's just a few years. At malapit lang naman ang Singapore. We can talk, we can send letters. May MIRC naman, we can chat online. We can make this work. Please tell me we can make this work.'"

"So I nodded. I couldn't speak because I was trying hard to hold back my tears. But they fell anyway... He wiped my tears away, and asked me if he could kiss me. It was my first kiss Doc." Maine chuckles as she recalls that butterfly feeling in her stomach. That's when she knew she loved Alden.

"Ayoko pa bumitaw nun Doc. Parang pinupunit yung puso ko dahil alam kong huling gabi na namin magkasama. He was leaving after a week then, everything was in place. Anyway, hinatid nya ako sa labas ng bahay, and niyaya ko sya pumasok. Syempre nandun yung tatay ko sa loob waiting for me. I asked my dad if we could sit by the porch, and he allowed us to stay until 10pm."

Maine's eyes brightened as she was brought back to her teenage years.

"Nagkwentuhan muna kami, binigyan ko sya ng Sola, favorite nya yung peach. Then nakaupo kami sa steps ng porch namin, staring up at the stars."

Maine. Ilang taon kaya tayo mag aasawa?

Ha? Asawa agad?

Bakit? Dun din naman ang punta natin diba?

Ah. Siguro mga 25? 26?

Oh. So 28 na ako nun. Sige. Kaya naman.

Alden drinks from the bottle, then looks at her.

Basta, hintayin mo ako Bab ha?

Oo naman. Nandito lang ako. Pero, paano kung makahanap ka na ng iba dun? Syempre marami ka namang makikilala. At mga bata pa tayo.

O sige, ganito na lang Meng. Pag 35 ka na, at wala pa tayong asawa, promise mo ikakasal ka sakin. Promise?

Sige. Promise. Teka 35?? Di ba parang ang tanda ko na nun??

Sige sige, 30. Pag mag 30 ka at di ka pa kasal, papakasalan kita.

"So yun. It was almost my 30th when Matthew proposed. At the back of my mind, and Doc never ko sinabi ito kahit kanino ha. At the back of my mind, I thought of Alden, and that night. Na parang, shit, mag 30 na ako. Ano nangyari? Bakit hindi sya ang kayakap ko? Bakit hindi sya ang nakaluhod dito? Bakit hindi sya ang ino-ohan ko?"

"Did he ever ask you?"

"At that moment, hindi. Hindi rin naman na kami masyado nag uusap nun because I was with Matthew already, and he was dating someone I didn't bother to know who. Until he found out from a common friend, a week before I was getting married. He texted me one night, and wanted to meet up."

"And did you meet up with him?"

"Yes. Yes I did Doc."

Dr. Villa checks the clock on the wall, and they were 5 mins over the session, and now she has to wrap it up for the next.

"Okay Maine, I think we tackled a lot today. We can go back again to where we ended today. I'll see you again next session, same time."

Maine puts out her 4th cigarette, thanks the doctor, and said goodbye.