Chasing Pavements

The Ex

(A/N : This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.  Wag ano.)

Maine spent the rest of her therapy session discussing her thoughts about Alden and her what ifs.

"That was the last time we saw each other... He tried to call me, but I couldn't get myself to meet up with him again after that night..."

"And why is that?"

"I've known him for so long, and we swore we'd stay friends... I feel like I ruined everything because of what happened..."

Maine puts out her cigarette...

"You feel you have to avoid him and yet you're here endlessly talking about him, why is that?"

Dr. Villa said.

"....I, I just wanted to give you a brief background..."

"Okay. Do you want to add anything to what you have already told me?"

"That's it Doc. Yun muna, baka masyado mo na akong ma-judge sa dami na ng detalyeng kinwento ko." Maine laughs at herself.

"Do you feel that these stories will make other people judge you?"

"Yes, and why wouldn't they? I'm a married woman, and I am talking about another man I mean, I chose him right? I chose Matt. Shouldn't I be happy? I said I was happy with my choice. And now?"

"We are here to help you, not to pass judgment. You are in a safe space Maine, and the more we discuss what's bothering you, the better your chances to helping yourself get through this."

"Thanks Doc. At times, I need to be reminded of this. Salamat Doc ha. I feel a little better now."

"That's good. But remember, we have set our goals for this journey. Even if you feel a little better, we need to continue the sessions, until we achieve those goals."

Maine nods and she looks at her watch as their session ends.

"So tell me about your husband"

"Soon-to-be Ex-Husband. The other reason why I'm here."

"Yes. What's he like?"

"He's, well, I thought he was the one. I met him about 12 years ago. We were introduced by a common friend from college."

Maine starts to tell her backstory about Matthew.

"We met at a friend's party, and talked all night , mostly about our relationship with Jing, our common friend."

"He got my number, and we exchanged messages. I liked him, I liked how fun he was, how we clicked. He made me feel loved then, and we could talk all day and night about everything under the sun. He gave all his attention to me. I never thought he would turn out gay..." Maine sighs.

"Is that even possible, Doc? Someone turns gay? Isn't homosexuality inborn? Or what, one day, he wakes up , after so many years of being married to me, he realizes he's gay?"

"Did you ever feel that he's gay in those 12 years of knowing him?"

"I thought I knew him... Ang sakit. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mas masakit eh. The cheating part, or the betrayal..." Maine tries to fight the tears from falling, but fails.

"And you mentioned that you haven't told anyone else about this?"

"No. I haven't."

"May I ask why?"

"Matthew suffered a stroke. That's the only reason why I'm staying... I'm waiting for his recovery."

"Can you elaborate?"

"I was at work, and I received a call saying he's in the emergency room because he had a stroke. I rushed to the hospital and took care of everything.

After a few weeks, he became stable, and he was already responsive and recovering well. I came home to fix all the insurances and documents we needed for his hospitalization and discharge. And that's when I found out..."