The house no one Knows about

NINE

Dear Bambi,

I had the best day of my life in a really long time and I don't know what happened or why you won't be smiling when you think about who wrote this. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't keep you smiling, I'm sorry I can't make it better, I'm sorry I can't solve whatever issues you're facing but I want you to know that if you ever need me, I'll be there. In the meantime I've been reading the signs, I understand if you need me to walk out of your life the same way I came in; unannounced. If I could do something I would do it without hesitation but us being strangers, means that there are limits. I'm only leaving because it is important to give you some air. You won't be able to contact me so I'm glad you'll have some happy memories to remember me with.

See you someday,

Dean.

I drop the letter before I finished reading it and run out of the house. I know where his car will be. I watched him drop the letter on my front porch. So I run out of the house into the freezing evening in my wraparound shirt and no shoes because I don't care about anything but losing him. His car is parked at a grocery store twenty-two blocks from my house and I ran the whole way and it's hard to breathe but I don't care. I've never been more happy to see that red Ferrari 458 Italia. I tap the window and it descends slowly.

'Where are you going?' I ask

'I don't know. Why'd you come to look for me?'

I glance at my bare feet afraid to look up into his blue eyes and blush. People have told me several times that black people don't blush but it's almost impossible not to do so when I eventually drag my eyes up. He grins but the sadness in his eyes remains.

'What happened to you?' I whisper

'I had a fight with my parents'

'They kicked you out?'

'No, I left, it was a hundred per cent my choice'

I nod slowly.

'Where are you going to stay?'

He shrugs and continues staring at the steering wheel; deep in thought.

'Stay at my house'

'Bambi-'

'Don't argue, I don't care what your letter said, you misunderstood my actions today and maybe one day I'll explain everything but you're my friend and you said that a friend in need is a friend indeed'

'I thought we were strangers'

'Didn't we go past that?'

'I should stop bothering you'

'Why?'

It's pleasing to watch him park his car in my barn. He didn't say anything for a while, his face emitted rays of sadness and pain that were the scars of his fight with his parents. I stand by the door and watch him and then I realise that boys can be beautiful too. It started raining a bit. The small raindrops gathered on his eyelashes and when he blinked he sprayed them everywhere. His tight-fitting shirt and muscular arms complimented his backpack and the jacket he held over his head when the rain got heavier. He runs all the way from the farm and when he gets to the house and is soaking wet, he laughs. So I laugh too and push away all forms of awkwardness.

* * *

I stopped at Walmart and bought some stuff for four days survival. That was what occupied my back pack. It consists of clothes, food, band aids and drinks. I drop my bag on the kitchen counter inside her house. Her house was so dark but I managed to make out a red couch bed that sat in the middle of the room replacing the old cracked one.

'Nice couch'

'Thanks my parents sent it from France today'

'So does that mean they're visiting soon?'

'Why are you asking? You want to meet them?'

'I'm asking for your sake'

'I wouldn't be bothered if they did or didn't'

Her living room became my bedroom and the couch bed is so soft and comfortable. She made hot chocolate for me and went to bed. I have to admit, I'm still confused as to whether I'm dreaming or not. I had to blink several time and convince myself that Bambi actually wanted me to stick around and I'm not dreaming.

Despite the comfort of the super red couch, I wake up seven times in the night between 10:03pm and 3:15am mostly because I'm worried. I know that my parents are super maniacs and will get the police on the job when they slowly realise that I'm not coming back and if anything Bambi is not going to be arrested because of me.

I hear the door closing gently and footsteps beating against the floorboards of the patio. Bambi slips out through the backdoor and wanders off into a nearby farm; barefoot as usual. Tears are falling from her eyes and marking the path she takes. I get up abruptly but remain at the backdoor watching her. She walks to a very far distance and when she arrives at her destination she is nothing but a silhouette. Her silhouette kneels in front of two dark objects and talks to them. I watch how her lips move in spite of the chattering of her teeth and river of tears pouring. She strokes the dark objects softly and kisses them. She runs a hand through her hair and begins walking back to the house.

Actually, she begins running back to the house.

I lie down on the couch bed and close my eyes. It isn't hard to sense her presence as she walks in and fixes herself over my "sleeping" body. She is watching me.

* * *

T.A.A.B.W.I.A.W.A.D.A.F.458.I looks so peaceful sleeping on my brand new couch. Izzy didn't waste time in sending the seven hundred and forty dollar beauty twelve minutes after I asked him.

My tears are as cold as my skin, my teeth keep knocking into each other and I'm scared that I'll wake him up. It's almost impossible hold myself together because I'm freezing so badly. My hands shudder as I reach for the kettle on the kitchen counter. I begin to boil some water while I struggle to find a way to breathe through my nose. I know that I'm almost gone when my lungs begin to burn up. The kettle whistles loudly and I grab a mug but my unstable, shaky hands are in no position to carry out this task and I realise that when the mug multiplies into ten thousand pieces on the floor.

'What's going on?' T.A.A.B.W.I.A.W.A.D.A.F.458.I wakes up at the sound of the crash.

I ignore him and raise the lid of the kettle and begin to drink it. Even though it's a hundred degrees celsius it can't burn me. One thing about having Pyroflu, your body temperature can never and will never be thirty-seven degrees celsius. Your body temperature will always be twenty-three and going below that is part of life but going above that would mean that your skin would burn and from there you would get skin cancer.

'Bambi?'

'I just wanted something warm to drink' I wipe my lip and place the empty kettle into its normal position.

'Hot water?'

'Okay, something hot to drink' I leave him looking confused and climb the stairs without another word.