"tadashi, can you glue these onto the poster?", hajime hands him the coloured pieces of wood-stock paper. tadashi clenches his jaw anxiously, looking up at the clock. his reaches for the paper and sticks them onto their posterboard. he's nervous and just about done with working. his fingers comb through his hair, as his demure eyes scan the four white walls.
he feels like the wall is enclosing around him. the room shifts for a second as he stumbles to a seat, placing his forehead against the oak table. he closes his eyes and tries to calm down, his fingers drumming the skin of his lap. his throat feels constricted, and his throat is strikingly parched; not a good combination.
the deadlines are coming quick. they strike like punches, leaving tadashi no breathing room. he can't even let out a mere gasp. frustratedly, he slams his hand onto the table with some force, making a slight noise, just enough so that some people turn around.
a soft, blue smile appears on his lips. he didn't mean for this to happen, but his nerves and his consciousness are grasping for battle, but his nerves won.
and now he's pathetic
he knows everyone is staring at him, daggers in their ruthless eyes. he feels like the world is crushing him again, like an anvil that never goes away. a deadweight perched upon his lips, a weight bag enclosed around his chest. he feels shitty. he is shitty. and for no reason he feels shitty. his eyes water. the patheticness is like handcuffs, sharpened to a point . he. he doe-
hajime plops down next to him, the cocoa butter smell wafts up to tadashi's nose. tadashi eyes him warily, startled beyond his mind. he shifts his gaze back onto his lap, the less said the better. hajime doesn't say a word.
wordlessly, he reaches for tadashi's hand. he feels hajime's strong fingers wrap around his like a latch; and like so he ravels his around hajime's.
"you'll be fine," hajime whispers. he squeezes tadashi's hand gently, infusing some of his own courage to tadashi.
his cheeks lift up in a bright smile. tadashi can breathe again.
-
"you should've seen yourself, you were as blue as a smurf." hajime lets out a booming laugh. all tadashi can do is walk wordlessly behind him, glaring at his backside with all the mental strength he can summon. hajime turns around, his eyes ablazen with a smouldering gentleness.
"in all seriousness though, are you fine?" he asks, his lips soft with worry. tadashi looks down at his feet, urging them to take him home faster. he passes hajime and gives him a reassuring smile. tadashi's heart sinks as he knows he's telling white lies.
"i'm fine, i promise."
-
"please dad, take your meds." anko pleads, her voice tinging with worry and pain, so much pain. she waves her hands in the air, almost knocking down the jug of tea she was preparing. her hair breaks the hair elastic that was holding it down, her brown strands flowing down her shoulders. it hurts to watch someone you love dearly disregard all the promises that are meant to help him.
"no," grandpa grits his teeth and looks away sharply, "that medicine won't help me at all either way."
"you won't know until you try." in two strides, anko faces her dad head on, her eyes filled with dull melancholy. "please."
"i'll be fine, i've survived worse." he reassures, trying for a small smile. but anko sees through this, him and tadashi lie the same way. their left ear twitches with anxiousness, something the both of them suffer with.
"if you do die, how will i tell this to tadashi?" anko places her hands onto her face, eyes watering gloomily. her shoulders tremble, than violently shake. "how can i face him?"
her sobs ring out through the empty walls, all the way to the dull sky. tadashi stares at them for a few more seconds, speechless. he tiptoes back to the stairs, his heart in his mouth, with the tears ready to hurtle out of his eyes at any give time.
he climbs out of his bedroom window, his fingers grasping various parts of the roof to keep him from plummeting back towards the ground. he lies down on the roof, his heartbeat quickening. he trembles.
the night sky tonight is glittered with luminous stars. they twinkle, one after another, each time more brighter than the other. tadashi closes his eyelids, and thinks of his dear grandpa. the radiant smile, almost as beaming as the stars above. the same freckles he was so insecure about, his grandpa loved.
and so he wishes on all the stars, every single one of them, that his grandpa won't join the stars above.
