Once Upon a University Campus

Surprises, too come in Battalion

Annika's sleepy hands fumbled the table for her phone. She felt a dichotomy between her very much awake mind and her firmly glued eyelids. It was an exhausting week since she had to catch up on her thesis work that had been sidelined the past two weeks thanks to the Oberoi report. She opened one of her eyes with a great deal of difficulty to check the time. It was still 3 AM. She put away the phone and tried going back to sleep. She told herself that she could easy sleep for a couple of hours. But her overactive brain started making a list of tasks to be accomplished that day. Prof Phatak had sent out a word asking her to meet him later that day. She was assuming it would be regarding her thesis and she did not have much to show him in that regard yet. So she would have to head over to the library and look up for some books or articles, at least that way she could tell Prof Phatak that she was working on it, buy some time, before making a meaningful progress. That day being a Friday meant she could work during the weekend and have something worthwhile early next week.

"Friday, Saturday .. Sunday afternoon that should be enough ... wait, it is Friday indeed" she reached out to her phone again and noticed the date once again, this time eyes wide open.. It was indeed her birthday. It was Prof Phatak's practice to wish his scholars on their birthday. But typically he would send an email. She wondered if Prof Phatak remembered her birthday like every year or if he actually just wanted discuss some work with her. Either ways, what difference would it make ? It was just one among the other 364 days on the calendar. She bravely tried to go back to sleep.

"25 years old.. so I can official consume alcohol now." She laughed at herself.

"Birthday, what does it mean any way? It is just another day, one of 365 and age, is just a number, that number when small, the desire is for it to grow bigger, but as it actually grows bigger, smaller becomes more desirable" she introspected about her age and what it meant to her. Though another year older , she was still there where she was last year, the year before and the year before.. She was still struggling to find enough money, still struggling to prove herself, still struggling to be a better parent to Saahil, struggling to be a better at everything she did. ..."when ever will these struggles end? Whenever will I confidently say I have reached my destination." She sighed. Three more semesters to go for her PhD, then another set of struggles, job hunting, posting, Saahil's board exam..A nobody, she had to carry all her burdens herself. She started missing her parents. Had they been alive, today would have been a special day. Like most parents, her parents too would have celebrated the day as well as they could. She would have woken up to hugs and kisses, care and concern. She imagined her mother preparing halwa with extra cashew, raisins and her favorite breakfast Aloo Poori. It reminded her of a faded photo in which she as a little kid stood in front of a cake with both her parents on her side, balloons hideously taped to the wall behind. A bunch of neighbourhood kids dressed in their finest stood around the cake, a few gawking at the cake unmindful of the camera. If not for that solitary photo, she would not have remembered that particular birthday party or any party ever celebrated on her birthdays.

Her parents were gone now, so was the photo itself, but the memories of the photo left her something sweet to ruminate, that there once was a time she lived a normal life. The idea that a handful of people were happy that she was born and prayed for her well being itself was beautiful. Her heart ached that right now the only person thankful to have her was Saahil. Responsibility and burden was all she had. Someday Saahil might wake her on her birthday with a hug and wish too... but that day looked so distant and the path so tedious. It was not a question of gifts or a birthday party or a cake, none of it mattered as long as there was someone genuinely thankful to have her in their life, unconditional love as many characterize it. Were not parents the only one to unconditionally love their progeny? Saahil loves her truly, but one day, he will drift away from her, he will have his own family, his children, his wife and will get busy with life. What about her? By the time she secures Saahil's future, she would have ended up an old maid. What if she woke up on her 50th birthday just like today? The thought scared away whatever remained of her sleep..