Once Upon a University Campus

Heart to Heart

Annika's heart grew heavier with each passing moment that he did not respond. Her muscles contorted, neck stiffened bringing a sudden spasm of aches. For the life of her, she could not understand why he had abandoned her like that. It was such a contrast from the man who had fed her, nursed her during her worst. Why did he find it so offensive when she refused to go with him to his house to recuperate? How in the world was she to pacify him .. worse what if he calls off the whole thing. Tears welled up and she sniffled as quietly as she could. She was not meant for happiness, all of it was just a mirage, she told herself. She pulled herself and a chair to the balcony to quietly spend the rest of the night wallowing in her lost chance at happiness, just like she had done once before.

The stifling summer heat, the sticky stagnant air, the sweat, the mosquitos all make her skin crawl having gotten used to the comfort of air conditioner these two weeks. "I hate you Shivaay, I hate you for abandoning me, I hate you for having reduced me from a proud fighter to a helpless cry baby.." Annika continued to sniffle as the sweat from her brows competed with her tears. "You abandoned me and here I am sitting and thinking of you like an idiot. I hate you for reducing me to an idiot Shivaay Singh Oberoi." Annika continued her silent teary monologue. The more she wanted to hate the man who filled her thoughts, the more she missed his warmth, his care, his concern for her, his peck on her forehead, his holding her hand, his touch.. Everything thing about him. And then she grew angry that though he had just walked out on her, she was still lolling in his thoughts. "I hate you too Annika for unwillingly or willfully giving him the power to make you cry." The pendulum of her thoughts swung this way and that, from proud disdain for her needy self to a part of her that was shamelessly hoping for bits of his profligate love. "I don't need you Shivaay Singh Oberoi.. I was Annika Trivedi before you and I am still Annika Trivedi after you.." She told herself even as she casually ran her fingers across her forehead trying to seek out the spot that was familiar with the softness of his lips. She pressed her fingers to her face, searching for traces of sensation that his fingers left on them. Nothing worked.. If only she had her old phone.

She picked up her phone and saw there were no replies yet. Annika was now convinced that his abandoning her at the hospital meant only one thing, that he had called it off, he no longer wanted her in his life. All the wonderful moments they had spent was now just a memory that did not even leave a trail of physical remnants in its wake. If only she had her old phone, at least there was one photo she could cling to, that harked back to happier days, that one photo of them at Montmartre. She had to search for the pieces of that phone. She knew people at Nehru Place who could retrieve data from crashed computers. Perhaps they could retrieve this one photo from her broken phone.

She walked back to the door of her balcony to check with Sumo, but she could not bring herself to wake the fast asleep puppy of a girl. Her restlessness would not let her sit, stand, sleep. On a whim, she decided to message him. The worst was already there,he was not responding to her messages. What more could she lose now? But if he did know the whereabouts of her old phone she stood to gain a much treasured, grainy photo.

"Sorry to disturb you, Do you have any idea where my old phone is? It had something very important that I need. It is kind of urgent." her trembling fingers hit the send button and she was back to wallowing in her misery.

Ten minutes or so later this new phone lit up with a message, the first ever incoming message.

"Very important?" He had finally replied.

A silly part of her celebrated that finally he responded to her message, but her thinking part laughed at it's silly counterpart. He had only responded to a formal message about something important. It was not difficult for her to conclude that he must have assumed it to be something related to work. Nevertheless she decided to respond.