Youtuber Keith. (Kangst)

7. Youtube missed me bby

Tw: talks of attempt, implied disordered eating habits, anxiety.

"Hey guys," Keith starts the video, "I know its been a while since ive posted, but shit happened, and I had to step away for a while. So, if you were wondering about the background change, that's why." He moved his hair out of his face, "Anyways, how is everyone? I hope you guys are ready for a whole lot of content, because man do I have shit planned," he pulled out a medium-large canvas, "starting with this." He stopped recording to move the camera to an overhead angle. "Knock, knock." Shiro opened the door, "You want any breakfast?" "No thanks, I had something earlier," he sat back down in his chair, "and I'm about to record a video for YouTube." Shiro nodded, "Alright, Adam and I are going out. Text me if you want me to pick anything up on the way back," he said. Keith gave a thumbs up and hit record on his camera. 

He sketched a woman on the canvas and talked. "I won't be going into any specifics but let me catch you guys up on what's been going on," he talked about his family struggles and his problems at school without directly stating what was implied and leaving out the part about his attempt. "So, yeah. a whole shitstorm. And then my mom disappeared, and when she was found they ruled it a suicide death and I was pretty torn up," he sharpened his pencil, "I'm drawing her." He finished the sketch in silence and moved on to outline and color, "a while back she had purple hair," he smiled at the memory, "purple is her favorite color." Once he was done painting, he sat back and looked at it, happy. "This painting doesn't do her justice. She was a beautiful woman," he signed his name at the bottom, "but she would have loved this." 

He edited and posted the video later that day. He hung his new painting on the lilac walls in his room. He felt anxious about just posting out of the blue, so he monitored the comments like crazy. They were overwhelmingly positive, though, and that put him at ease. A lot of "you're doing great!" and "your art is amazing!" made him less anxious. He clapped his hands and closed his computer. "Things are getting better," he mumbled to himself, "I'm okay." 

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Keith and Shiro pulled up to the school and they sat there for a minute. "You've gotta go in, Keith," Shiro said, turning down the radio, "come on." Keith sighed and grabbed his bag from the floorboard, "Okay." "Okay," Shiro repeated, "I'll bring you lunch." Keith shook his head, "I packed one," he replied, "you mind if I go to Lance's after school?" he asked. "Sure, be safe though." Keith nodded and got out of the car. 

Walking into school that day felt like something out of the movies; the ones where everyone is staring at you, whispering about you, and you feel anxious. Keith was having a main character moment but instead of it being everyone thinking the new kid is drop dead gorgeous, they're whispering about his suicide attempt. He quickly made way to his first period class, avoiding the looks and whispers.

He walked into the classroom and was greeted by his teacher. "Nice to see you again, Keith," He welcomed, "I'm glad to have you back." Keith gave a half smile, hoping to avoid the rest of the conversation and took his seat. As more students trickled into the class before the bell rang, he put his head down on the desk, listening to students' mumble "he's back," "did you hear what happened to him?" and "I forgot he was in this class." He felt sick to his stomach. No one said anything to him, though, and he was greatful.

He was still feeling anxious by lunch and decided to sit outside. He sat against a tree and listened to music, breathing slowly. A tap on his shoulder startled him and his eyes shot open, thankfully though, it was just Lance. He took his earbuds out, "Hey." "Hey," Lance sat beside him, "how's your day been?" Keith shrugged, "People keep whispering about me," he said quietly, "I don't like it." Lance smiled sadly, "I know, babe. I'm sorry," he pulled out his lunch, "it'll die down soon." "I hope so," Keith replied. "Where's your food?" Lance asked, biting into his sandwich. "I ate before you came out here," Keith lied. Lance nodded, "What did you have?" "A sandwich and some chips," "Alright," he took a sip from his water bottle, "so you coming to mine after school?" "Yep," Keith nodded with his reply, "Shiro was like 'be safe' whatever that means." Lance laughed, "Be safe." He repeated and laughed again. "Why are you- Oh my god," Keith's ears got red, he shoved Lance's lightly, "dirty minded asshole." Lance came down from his laughing fit, "Hey," he said, "look at me." Keith looked up, "What?" Lance leaned forward and kissed his forehead, "I love you so much," he ruffled the ravenette's hair, "I've gotta get going, but I'll see you 8th." "Yep," Keith confirmed, "I love you, too." Lance kissed Keith's cheek and set back off to class.

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