The Band Bible

Chapter 2

"Kaydee!" I called out once again. "Yeah Clay?" Kaydee answered. "You lookin' fine", I winked. "Oh", she blushed, giggling. "You wanna see my bassoon?"

"Sure, I've never seen a bassoon in person before", she let out a smile. "Arielle!" I shouted. "What do you want?" She said blankly. "Can you give me my bassoon?"

"Can you give me a break?" She rose an eyebrow. "I don't ask that much of you", I crossed my arms tightly against my chest. "Yes you do, now if you don't mind, I'm gonna go find Dick Nirks. I don't think that hoe is being loyal." She walked away with sass and headed into the locker room.

"Well, Arielle won't get my bassoon, so you wanna see my butt?" I asked Kaydee. "No that's okay, I've seen day booty enough."

"I'm not good at flirting", I whispered into her ear. "I dunno, you seemed to do a good job picking up Dick Nirk's the other day."

"Because me and him just have something special."

"Do we have something special?"

"We haven't gotten that far yet, Kaydee."

"CLAY! CLAY! PLAYDOH! HUNGRY HOWIE!" Arielle came sprinting out of the locker room screaming my name, a look of panic on her face. "What is it?" I asked, trying to calm her down by putting my hand on her shoulder. "Who said you could put your carrot fingers on the queen?" Arielle scoffed, shaking my hand off of her shoulder. "Sorry, what happened?"

"Dick Nirk's cheated! He betrayed you!"

"Is now a good time to break out in to song?" Kaydee and Arielle nodded eagerly. "Love of my life, you've hurt me", I sang. "It's a good thing you sing nice, other wise I'd shove my foot up that tiny little thing you call a butt", Arielle complimented. I think she complimented me anyway. "Well, you like Queen, don't you?"

"Duh, what I look like not enjoying Queen songs?"

"Sorry, god", I rolled my eyes. "Ya dingus", Arielle said, smacking me on the back of my head and walking towards Tyler. "Kaydee, do yo-"

"CAN I GET A HUNYAH?!" Garon shouted from the highest level of the band hall, his hands cupped around his mouth. "HUNYAH!" Everyone yelled back. "What exactly is the definition of hunyah?" I questioned. "Why don't you ask Arielle?" Kaydee suggested. "True", I nodded back. "Arielle!"

"I was gone for less than a minute and you're already calling me?!" Arielle groaned, clenching her fists until her knuckles turned white, stomping over to me and Kaydee. "Can I ask you a question?"

"What is it, big-head?" Arielle rose an eyebrow, crossing her arms and tapping her foot on the floor. "I was wondering if you knew what hunyah is. Like is there a definition?"

"Yeah, hunyah is like the band kids amen. It can be used as hallelujah too."

"Really?"

"Yeah, is that it? I have other things I need to take care of."

"Like what?"

"Well, since I help you out so much and I try to find out everything for you, I was gonna figure out why Dirk Nirks decided to be a hoe."

"Who's he do it with?"

"What?"

"I mean, who'd he be unfaithful with?"

"Tyler, actually, him and Emma had a bad night I guess", I shrugged. "That sounds horrible."

"Now if you excuse me, I need to go slap a bitch up."

-

"That's a nice flag you got there", I told Kaydee, taking one of my hands and letting it glide across the pole of her decorative looking flag. "Thank you, it's bruised me a few times already", she gave a toothy smile. "OH MY GOD! CLAY YOU NEED TO GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER! BOY, YOU A HOT MESS!" Levi shouted, walking anxiously over to me and Kaydee who were sitting outside the band hall.

"Clay, what the hell is this?" Levi asked, pointing to the naked picture of me on his cell phone screen. "How'd you get that?!" My eyes widened, as I snatched the phone from his grasp. "Ew, it's small", Kaydee cringed, looking at the picture. "No it's not!"

"No, it's really small, Clay. I give this picture, like, a four. Either you take pictures at really bad angles, or you just weren't meant to send nudes", Levi agrees with her. "How did you get this?"

"Someone sent it to me."

"Who?"

"Arielle."

"WHAT?! SHE'S THE ONE WHO IS SUPPOSED TO PROTECT MY NUDES FROM GETTING OUT TO PEOPLE! NOT SEND THEM TO EVERYONE!"

"Better tell Miss Queen Bee over there that, then", Levi rolled his eyes. "Arielle!" I called out, marching over to her as she chatted with Tori. "What is it now, Playdoh?" She sighed. "Levi said you sent him my nudes."

"What? I don't even have your nudes to begin with, how would I send them?"

"Aren't you supposed to be in charge of who my nudes get sent to?"

"I'm apart of your daily life and your relationships, not who you send your micro-penis to."

"IT'S NOT THAT SMALL!"

"If people say it's smaller than Christian's, it's really small", she insisted. "SHUT UP!"

"I'm just saying, but anyways, I've never seen your nudes in the first place. All I know is what I've heard. I'm not the mastermind behind your nude-leaking."

"Please help me then."

"Alright, tic-tac number two."