regret » finan the agile | the last kingdom

ONE

this was originally meant to be the prologue but it didn't really fit in with the rest of it so now it's chapter one. shorter than i would've liked but it's only really meant to set up the scene etc.

**i haven't grammar checked this because it's 6am and i haven't slept yet so forgive me for any errors

enjoy x

word count; 1043

Agnes

"How could you do this to me?" I asked, feeling my wrists shake at the news. He'd betrayed me. He'd gone against me. That.. that bastard Irishman. 

"I..." Finan trailed off. How could he know what to say? How.. he..

God! He was a coward! He does this and, now, he can't even defend his actions? That.. that fool! God. God! I could hardly think of the appropriate words as I looked at him. All I felt was anger. Pure, unadulterated anger.

"How could you go against me in such a way, Finan? And look at what you've done. Look at what you've done to me," I spoke in complete fury. "To us," I continued, watching as his expression remained the same. Bastard coward. "Because God knows I will not— I cannot forgive you for this."

"Agnes-"

"Not now. Not ever."

"You don't seem like a fighter."

I glanced up at the staring Irishman, whose smirk grew as my eyes latched onto him. Finan, he was called. And Christ did he frustrate me. He was utterly infuriating and, what's worse, is that he enjoyed eliciting such a feeling from me. It made his lips curl upwards and his eyes lighten a little. It didn't quite have the same effect on me.

"I'm not the meek type," I said, eyeing him with suspicion. "What do you want, Finan?"

It was the third time this week he had approached my door, leaning against the wood with a cheeky smirk and his arms folded in a loose manner. Even the Lord Uhtred had noticed it, teasing me constantly about the Irishman's visits. But he was just Finan — it was all a joke to him.

"Just thought I'd pop round, ya' know, see how yer' getting on," He spoke, his smirk increasing as he made me aware of his purpose. "I hear you're very fond of dresses."

"I'm a widow, Finan, I don't have time for dresses," I snapped, folding my arms. "Nor do I have time for you. Unless you've got something important to tell me, then leave me be."

"Isn't my presence important enough?" He asked cheekily, his smirk dominating his lips.

"No." I said sharply, "I have work to do. Unless you're going to feed my children?" I questioned, straightening my back. "I can't imagine it, truth be told."

"What? Me feeding yer' children?"

"No, you actually being useful," I said. He let out a chuckle and raised his eyebrows,

"Feisty little thing aren't ya?"

"I don't know, Finan," I said as I grabbed the basket containing the fabrics. "Am I?"

With that, I shoved past the Irishman and made my way to the river. I had things to do. He was being a nuisance — not to mention a fool — and I didn't have the time for it.

But, alas, Finan did not give up. God knows he never would.

Thus, when I returned to my home, I found Finan waiting by the door. His lips curled into a smirk as soon as his eyes found me, and mine turned into a frown.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" I asked, pushing past him into the home. He followed me in and spoke again,

"Not urgently,"

"Well, then, maybe you should make it urgent," I said, stopping to look at him. "Unless you wish to appear obsessed with me."

"Obsessed?" He asked, his smirk only increasing further. "Whatever gives ya' tha' impression?"

"Apart from the loitering?" I asked, arching a brow. His simple nod prompted me to speak again. "Would you like me to list the reasons, Irishman?"

"I'd like you very much," He spoke cheekily. Scoffing, my response was hasty.

"Shame it's not mutual," I said. "Please, Finan. I have things to do. Just tell me why you're here and be gone." My tone grew serious by that point. A little sterner, but not too much. Just enough to get my point across. Clearly, Finan understood; his smirk softened into a sweet smile.

"The Lord Uhtred just sent me to check on ya'. You know, duty an' all."

"Because of Edmund?" I asked, my question a little quieter than earlier. Finan nodded.

It hadn't escaped me that today was the annual date. The date of Edmund's passing. The date my life changed, permanently, whether it be for better or worse.

Edmund's passing was a shock to us all. Most particularly, Uhtred. God knows the poor man barely break the news to me. Edmund was skilled as a warrior; no one had thought he'd be outwitted. But he was. A simple arrow took his life.

And with his death, came much adversity. I was a widowed Mother, with three children to care for. A newborn daughter — what was I to do?

Uhtred, being the kind man he was, gave us a home for life in Cookham, but none of this could ever be ideal. I'd lost a husband. My children had lost a Father. Our families were dead and gone, we had only each other. But now he'd left me. Now, I was all alone.

In the first few months, I couldn't understand why he'd been taken. Just as Wessex became safer, just as the Danes were becoming less intrusive, Edmund was snatched away from it all. There was no reasoning to it. No logic.

Perhaps it was my atonement. My payment for some heinous sin I'd committed months and months ago. Perhaps even years. Thus, I scoured my brain, trying to find whatever it was. Trying to understand. But I found nothing. I wasn't a saint, no, if anything I was more alike the devil himself — but no sin of mine was so great that it justified taking Edmund in such a violent matter.

"Coin for your thoughts?" Finan spoke up, bringing me back into reality. I scoffed, shaking my head.

"As if you've got that much money."