Side by Side...

Me

I haven't been feeling well lately. 
To be honest, I don't feel like this is me at all,
But I keep trying to climb out of this abyss
Only to find myself falling deeper inside.
Now, I don't know what to do.

They say life is fun, so live and enjoy it.
Well, how can you when you feel like you're
Buried six feet under hopes and dreams?
The truth is, I would enjoy it if I could,
But I seem to make myself miserable. 

I mean nothing to myself,
And when I "put myself down," I say those things
Because I genuinely believe them:
I am ugly, I am stupid, and I am a loser,
No matter what anyone says.

And, if I'm going to be honest with myself,
I might as well include the:
I'm worthless part, but
The sad part is that no one understands
Why I do the things I do.

They're not to get attention,
I could care less about your eyes and ears set upon me,
But they're there to reassure me that I am right:
No one is ever going to fix me, only I can.

That hopeless kid in ninth grade was right:
"I can't fix myself.
No one will ever love me,
No one ever has..."
I was right then and that still holds true now, why?

It's all because of me.
I am not desirable by anyone,
Not even myself.
I want to meet someone that can love me
Despite all of my faults,
But I can't communicate or open my mouth,
And now, every time I look around
All I see is emptiness,
The emptiness that has become me.