I'm not dying for you. [Completed and in editing]

Chapter 15📍

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
(Sucidal thoughts and actions will be in this skip to the next chapter if you don't want to read about it)

Theo pov still
I walk down the the river and just stand there. Nothing seems to be worth it anymore. Without Liam there's nothing for me. No person to keep me good. No person to make me happy. I want to be with him again. I want to be happy, let me be happy. It feels as if the world is out to get me. I step into the river walking slowly and stoping looking at the small waves as they pass. The little fish swimming for their short life. They are  enjoying their life, why can't I, I thought.
"WHY CAN'T I ENJOY MY LIFE!" I scream with tears sliding down my to my neck.
I kept waking. Step by step. I'm not going to regret this I told myself. I felt numb still. It's feels like no one cares about me. Scott and Stiles still hate me. Malia despises me even more than Scott and Stiles. I've done so much for them and they don't appreciate it. I risked my life for them, and I did what I never thought I would do. I took someone's pain. It hurt me to watch Gabe as he died. It was painful, and no one should have to go through that even if it was someone as bad as Gabe. I tried so hard but no one cares about me. I'm just there. I'm just always there,but no one notices me. I walk into the river more as it gets deeper. The water is at my neck now but no one is going to stop me so why not keep going. The world starts getting lighter. But it's all darkness. Maybe darkness is better then living. Just maybe. I'll get to be with Liam again. I'll be able to feel his touch. His fingers gripping my hair and his soft lips are on mine. His whispers in my ear. And us telling eachother how much we love eachother. Something we never got to do. And something we should get to do. I fee my heart beat slowing down. Time is getting slower. My panic kicks in. I struggle to get air into my lungs but instead water starts filling in. I wanted to go to the surface but seeing Liam again would be worth it.  As I knew these would be my final breathes. My lungs full of water. My head aching. Everything feel dark,but not for long. My panic rise in me once more. Everything yelling at me to get out. Go to land. I rise up to the air. Filling my lungs with all the air I can grasp at a time. I swim for the shore and  start coughing and gagging. Then remember the time I went swimming with Liam. The first time we bonded. I screamed and kicked and cried. I looked up and screamed. Digging my nails in my palm and putting my head in between my legs. I rocked there for awhile, gently swaying back and forth. I look up and see a gray and white wolf walking towards me. It forms back to human and reveals a naked body looking up at me. My eyes fill up with tears as I approach him. They run down my face as I run up to Liam and kiss him. He wipes the tears away.

"How--how are you here?" I ask

"Lets not talk about his right now, I just want to be with you ."He says very gently, now rubbing my head.

I walk to the car to grab two towels from when we went swimming together. We seat in the trunk enjoying each others presence.

"What were you doing down here anyways."Liam asked.
"I was just taking a swim, I guess." I lied
Liam rested his head down on my soggy shirt, and I rested mine on his. We watched the sunset before we left. I want to tell him everything, but I don't know how too. I want to tell him about my suicide attempt. I want to tell him how much I love him, but I can't seem to get the right words out. He knows that I love him. It probably seems unrealistic for someone like Theo Raeken to be in love and actually care about someone else rather than himself. Or how he is even capable of love. I kiss Li's forehead and we watch the sun go down.

x

You thought I was going to keep Liam dead ppl. You thought very wrong. Its currently 3:23am but whatever. There is probably mistakes everywhere but again idc. hehe. Also I made a edit that took 7 hours so i'm putting it in the top cuz why the heck not. Nvm I don't feel like posting it in yt.

-Shae