In Love With My Best Friend

Emotions

"Grayson?" She asked confused.

I nodded looking down. I really did not wanna hear questions about him. Especially since I haven't made up my mind about how I feel.

"What about Grayson? Did something happen in school?" She asked sitting next to me.

"He was with a girl the other day. Remember when he wasn't around us on Thursday?" I asked.

"Well yeah, but he wasn't with another girl. I don't think." She replied trying to convince me.

"Yea he was, ask E. The beginning of first period he walked in with a blonde girl and when you and E fell asleep, he invited her over. They went upstairs." I explained.

"Is that why you wanted to leave Lor?" She asked putting the clues together.

I nodded looking down. She didn't know either. Does E know? I wasn't understanding. All this talking about Grayson made me begin to overthink. Do I have feelings for Grayson? I don't. I know I don't.

"Lor..babe, why do you care if he is talking to a girl? I mean yea it's pretty messed up that he didn't tell any of us, but maybe he had his reasons. Maybe he didn't make anything official so he didn't find it necessary to tell us." She explained.

"That's not okay Lil, we're his best friends. We never keep secrets from each other." I said avoiding the question.

She looked at me sadly. She knew it was more than that. She grabbed the sides of my head.

"Lorena Rae. It's fine if you have feelings for Grayson. It wouldn't be crazy if you did, he's done so much for you. He was there when carter left, when your grandmother passed, and when that incident happened with your parents. I could name so much more. He'll always be here and always have. It's fine if you're not sure as of now, but you'll realize sooner or later. I know one thing, you can't push your feelings aside forever Lor, that'll hurt so much more. I know you're scared because of the past, but Gray isn't like that." She explained gently.

"I don't know Lily. A relationship with Grayson will ruin everything. I don't want to risk losing him if things don't work out. We've remained friends for almost 3 years now. That's been working. I mean yea, he's passionate, kind, cute, and so much more but I just can't." I said shedding a tear.

I never cry over boys. Only one and that was Mason. I promised myself that I would never do that again. I cried because I was in love with Mason. I'm not in love with gray. I'll admit that I like him. I cried over Gray because I would love to be with him, but I can't. He's talking to someone and I know he doesn't feel the same way. Being with Grayson is a bad idea and that's why it hurt so much. Knowing that I'll never be with him.

"Lorena? It's okay, things will work out but you have to tell him soon." She explained wiping my tear.

"He's talking to someone. She's pretty, really pretty." I said looking down.

"Oh, Lorena she doesn't have anything on you. You and Gray have something special. She'll never be able to relate." She said putting my head on her lap and playing with my hair.

We stayed quiet for about 5 minutes.

"Lily? Please don't tell anyone about me liking Gray. Not even E. I don't want him to know."

"I won't, but you have to tell him soon." She said playing with the ends of my hair.

I nodded. A few hours later Lily left.

I like Grayson. With that, I fell asleep and thanked god that tomorrow was Saturday.