Islands in the Sky

3.18

“So you will do this with me?” Sema said. “Do we have a business together?”

Quen Tosal didn’t answer. He stood there for a moment, thinking. Sema waited again. She waited, nervously, her breathing feeling a little odd, a little tight in her chest, she was so anxious.

“One last thing,” Quen Tosal said. “Something I wonder, is all. How are you to run this wood business while also going and gathering wood yourself?”

Sema looked at Quen Tosal, suddenly confused. She thought perhaps he hadn’t understood. “I’ll gather wood,” she said, cautiously, wondering if she should explain everything again. “And give it to the dock-manager, who will sell it while I am gone to get more…”

“No,” Quen Tosal said. “I mean, how will you organize all the other boats, later on.”

Sema stood there for a moment, thinking carefully. Considering what they had said to one another, and wondering if she had somehow missed something.

“What other boats?” she said.

“The hundred people there will be in the future…”

“What?” Sema said. “No. Only my boat, gathering my armloads of wood.”

“You said I would speak once to you, and then a hundred people would end up gathering wood and paying me. I assume that meant you would organize the others.”

“Oh,” Sema said, and then went quiet. She wasn’t sure what to say. She hoped Quen Tosal hadn’t misunderstood her, and thought she was offering more than she was. She hoped not, and she had the strangest feeling that he hadn’t, and this misunderstanding was actually deliberate.

“Was that not what you meant?” Quen Tosal said mildly.

“Not really.”

“Is it a difficulty?”

“I don’t know,” Sema said. “Perhaps.”

“This would be a much more attractive business for me if you were willing to organize all the other wood gathers as well.”

“There are no other…”

“Later on,” Quen Tosal said. “One day in the future. When there are some.”

Sema went quiet. She looked at the floor, and thought. She understood what Quen Tosal wanted. She understood why he would try and ask this of her. It would gain him the exact same payments, but without the effort of organizing lots of other people. It meant he would get his money more easily, and Sema would do the work. Sema didn’t mind doing work, she actually didn’t. She just wasn’t sure she was capable of organising an entire wood-gathering business, not one as large as Quen Tosal seemed to have in mind.

“Would you be able to do that?” Quen Tosal said.

“I don’t know if I could.”

“Why ever not?”

Sema just stood there, helpless.

“If I am to take a risk on you,” Quen Tosal said, surprisingly gently. “Then surely you yourself should believe that risk worth taking as well.”

Sema nodded.

“I do believe the risk worth taking,” Quen Tosal said. “I truly do. I am happy to take that risk on you.”

“Oh,” Sema said. “Really?”

“Indeed. But if I am to take a risk, I want to be sure you have the confidence in yourself that I have in you.”

“Yes,” Sema said, then stopped. “I mean, I know I should have confidence. You are right.”

“But do you?”

Sema didn’t answer.

“Do you?” Quen Tosal said again.

Sema hesitated, and Quen Tosal waited.

“I am not sure,” Sema said softly. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.”

“I am. Perhaps we shouldn’t…”

“We should,” Quen Tosal said. “Many people would have said yes, even if they were unsure.”

“Well, I am unsure.”

“I am more sure than you. And that is what matters.”

“You could be wrong,” Sema said, thinking she should warn him. “If you hope for some vast fleet of leftover wood scavengers bringing you wealth…”

“I hope for it. It may not happen.”

“But you’re taking a risk…”

“It is a small risk. I just want you to understand it is there, and to think that you can do this thing despite it.”

Sema thought about that.

“If the risk worries you…?” Quen Tosal said.

“A little.”

“The risk is small. This is information, nothing more. It costs me nothing. But before I take a chance, even a small one, I would like to know you trust yourself as much as I do.”

“Someone else might be better able to…”

“I would prefer you.”

“Oh,” Sema said. She stood there, thinking. “Then I suppose I do think I could do that. If I have your help.”

“You do,” Quen Tosal said. “You will.”

Sema nodded. They looked at each other. Quen Tosal was smiling, and seemed pleased, as if they had reach some agreement.

Sema wasn’t sure if they had. She wasn’t sure they hadn’t either. She wasn’t sure exactly what this conversation meant, and she wanted to be sure. “So you will tell me where the island is?” she said, uncertainly.

Quen Tosal nodded.

“And have your ship tow mine there?”

“I will.”

“For what trade? What price?”

Quen Tosal smiled. “Whatever you think is fair.”