[COMPLETED] STALKER/S || JIN CENTRIC FF

Chapter 30

Wait no, he didn't mean it like that.

Namjoon's mind went blank, his lips quiver as the other waited for a response.

He can't tell him that he loves him, he isn't ready, he isn't perfect yet.

"I-It it just that- I-I wanted to test things first before going for it" he spew out of panic.

Jin furrows his eyebrows at the words Namjoon spilled.

So this 'date' was nothing?

Did Jin got so stress for nothing? Worrying on how he'll tell the other that he feels no romantic feelings for him, feeling terrible that he doesn't see him the way Namjoon sees him, was all for nothing since this wasn't a real date.

He couldn't help but laugh in his head, how funny.

But it wasn't funny, it was infuriating. He needs to make sure if Namjoon did seriously asked him out just to be used as a practice test.

"Oh.. so this is just some kind of practice then..?",

Panic flash in the younger's face as he shakes his head continuously.

"N-NO! No! No! Hyung it's not like that!',

"Then what is it?",

"I-Is just.." Namjoon was out of words, not knowing what to say anymore "I-I like this guy a lot-",

Shit no that made it worse.

"Namjoon didn't you ever think about how I feel?" Jin can't hold it back anymore "You like the guy yeah, but you can't just ask someone out and not tell them it isn't serious!" he has high tolerance, but that doesn't mean he can't get furious.

Why can't Namjoon take the time to think about how Jin would feel? He was already mentally drained from today's events of him getting sickly turned on by Hoseok's lap dance. He didn't enjoy it one bit and was greatly uncomfortable with it. Disgusted how it turned him on.

And panicking when his friendly eat out with Yoongi was actually a date. The guy didn't even say it was a date either! Just asked him out of the blue if he enjoyed the date!

He's always the one getting hurt and stressed, sacrificing everything he has for his friends. Because he can't say no to them, he loves them too much as they needed it more then him.

But sometimes he feels like their using him, abusing his kindness. Maybe it's him just overthinking because why would they? Yet the stress keeps piling up, like boulder after boulder on his back forcing him to carry them as he walk. He needs someone to vent all him deep emotions.

But he wants to keep it himself happy, his positive image for the people around him whose in need of saving, since those friends who abused his generousity are still his friends who he still deeply care. He doesn't want them to know he's hurting, he doesn't want them to be dragged in his problems.

The only person who knows Jin true feelings was Haneul.

How he comforts him with sweet words as Jin cries to him, vents his frustration to him. He accepts Jin full heartedly and it broke him once he notice that Haneul has suddenly left him.

That's when he starts training himself, learning self control and self discipline. Trying to show his best sides and only his best to his friends. Not wanting them to see his ugly emotions.

"Namjoon you are the smartest person I know, but I guess love got you dumb since this date is an exercise to get that head of yours the knowledge to woo your crush" he spat, glaring at him.

Jin hates getting angry, because he couldn't control himself whenever he does, cursing himself for the lack of self control. Were all those self-disciplinary days wasted?