Inside My Head

10

I've always had the theory that no matter how bad the situation is, it can always get worse.

you were one of the reasons why.

we didn't even have a roof over our heads, and you made us pack a suitcase of memories and leave in the middle of the night.

i remember i slept with no pillow and no blanket that night, and i just lay there for hours staring at a blank wall.

that was the night that you told me you weren't my dad anymore.

as i sat in the car that was overflowed with storage crates, i looked out of the window, and i missed the days where we would argue over what to eat, and the sudden tickle fights in the hallway.

then i remembered the days where i would go to sleep on the couch, and i would wake up in my bed with my shirt off.

i didn't feel secure anymore, but the worst part of it all was that i didn't have a bed to run to or a nice hot shower.

no clothes felt right, and i was embarrassed everywhere i went; because i'd thought that you took away my privacy,

and i still fear that today.

i can't even let a boyfriend touch me.

and, look! my new stepbrother explored me with his hands, and unlike you, i was awake to see it.

and i reached out, and nobody believed me.

as always, i was just doing it for attention.

i'd never really understood why someone would make up such a story just for attention.

i felt like i had no one.

i only had the girl staring back at me in the mirror...

the girl who always wonders why it had to be her.