Inside My Head

22

i used to have an addiction. 

not to drugs, 

not to nicotine.

not to alcohol,

nor to sex.

i was addicted to pain.

and no, i didn't want to hurt anyone else. 

i just liked to hurt myself,

because i felt like i deserved it.

and i still kind of do.

you see,

what people don't understand about addiction is that it's a way to escape reality:

a way to make yourself feel real. 

and i know it's wrong to do what i used to.

i know it's really wrong to still think about it sometimes. 

but the other thing about addiction 

is that you can't just leave it without 

having little cravings every once in a while.