Save Us {NCT Dream}

Day 3

The week was absolutely hellish, Renjun can’t even count the number of scars or how many kinds littered his body. The three brutes use all sorts of things, sometimes a cane or a bottle, sometimes a clothing hanger while if they’re lucky they would just slap, punch or kick them.

For every mistake, lands a new wound, a new scar and for any act or sign of rebellion and snitching, Jisung is the victim.

It was cruel, whenever they wanted to fight for themselves of another member there’ll be that threat.

It’s only one word, one name, but it’s enough to get them back down and grovel at their managers’ feet.

“Jisung”

It’s not like they left him alone, ironically, he was their favorite to pick on. Even if he was half a second faster or slower, there’ll be a bottle to his shoulder or cane to his thigh. Or he stumbles over a word in his raps or couldn’t sing a part properly, there’ll be hair being tugged and head flicking.

But they know, they have to protect the maknae from the worst. The image from their first day with the managers, Jisung’s helpless screams as the man touched him.

They can’t let it get to that again.

That Wednesday, was very much eventful. They had arrived back at the dorms in the late of night, weak and body throbbing from the abuse.

Renjun as always, went to check on everyone, he’s the oldest after all.

Despite his own pain, he goes to each Dreamie, helps them rid of their clothes, and carefully tends to each wound, all the while with a fake smile and meaningless words of ‘it’ll get better’ and ‘it’ll be over soon’.

He would have to endure Chenle’s panic attacks during these moments.

Get Jaemin to sit down for one minute because he was too afraid that he’s still getting a certain move wrong.

Listen to Jisung’s broken sobs and endless “I’m sorry”s

Help Haechan into bed because his body couldn’t sit up on his own anymore, being in two active units on top of abuse is draining.

Force Jeno’s door open because boy thinks he can bottle things up to himself, not on Renjun’s watch.

It was something he did for them, “Let it all out, just say it all out, I’ll listen”

Emotional stress is very dangerous, Renjun knows and that is why every night as he tends to them.

He gets them to spill every bit of anger, sadness or anything that needed to be taken off their minds.

Yes, it hurts him, jabs him in the core of his heart hearing their hopeless rants of frustration and pain.

Yes, it breaks him seeing all he could do was put already broken pieces together rather than preventing it.

Yes, he does it all for them because Dreamies are his everything.

But who’s doing it for him? No one

But he’s the oldest and they’re counting on him.

Finally done with all five of them, Renjun settles in the bathroom. Lifting up his shirt to reveal his own array of blue and red, it’s only been days, a week has yet to gone by. But the unwanted colors blossoms and blooms about on his body, he could still feel the hit of the cane to his skin.

It was aching, paining and he wants it to just stop. It was all he could feel, pain, pain, pain and more pain. If it’s not his then it’s the others.

Nothing but continuous aching pain that shakes his whole being like an earthquake.

Renjun grip on the sink till his knuckles are turning blue, he wants it to stop, needs it to stop. Hand flinging open the first aid kid and pulling out a pair of scissors. Without thinking, he gashes a few strokes on his thighs, blood seeping out like Jisung’s crying tears.

Instead of pain, there was relief, the Chinese lets out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. He was breathing, finally, he could breathe, Renjun stares at the mess he made, the blood already dropping on the bathroom tiles.

He sat on the toilet, and watched.

He watches as his blood continues to drip, slicing a bit more because it felt so good, he couldn’t feel the pain of being hit or slapped. He wonders if the others would barge in on him like this, but they won’t, Renjun knows they won’t.

They’re caught up in their own web of thoughts, besides no one would ever think he would go and do this.

So, he’s just sitting there, watching as his red blood that’s supposed to be inside his body covers the floor.

Maybe if he’s lucky, he could die then and there.

But unfortunately, he wasn’t, had he ever been lucky to be begin with?

Maybe he had used up all his luck to have these boys around him, even if it kills him.

Renjun weakly stands, the blood had stopped bleeding out and he’s feeling faint and numb. Just how he wants. He all but slowly cleans every bit of the mess away, and carefully tends the wound he inflicted on himself.

A while later he limps out of the bathroom and to his shared room with Jeno. Seeing a bump on the top bunk, he assumes Jeno is asleep, he nearly missed the other figure in the dark on his own bed in the lower bunk.

“Hyuck…..what are you doing here?” he was asleep? When did he wake up?

The slightly tanned male continues to stare, but Renjun can’t read the emotion that’s being displayed. Renjun makes his way and sits on the bed, Donghyuck make no signs to leave.

“Do you want to sleep with me?”

The younger shifts his gaze to the bits of white bandage slightly exposed because of Renjun’s short pants. He places his hand on it, feeling the wrapped bandaged under the thin fabric, he’s been there, a long time ago.

He knows

“You cut” it came out almost like a whisper, broken and strained.

Renjun wasn’t even surprised, he already planned out on not hiding anyway. “Why Junnie? You made me promise that I won’t ever do it ever again……doesn’t mean you can start idiot……”

“I don’t know, but I guess I am an idiot. We all are, at this rate aren’t we? A big bunch of idiots” he laughs, maybe sadistically even.  

“You remember what Mark hyung said?” Haechan asks, pulling Renjun to lay next to him.

Renjun nearly sobs, he wished Mark was here, then he could go to him to cry and rant and he doesn’t need to play this oldest role. But he’s thankful he isn’t, Mark shouldn’t be a part of this hell they’re going through, he doesn’t deserve this suffering, mark’s too good for that.

“Every word” and he means it.

“That we’ll be amazing and do even better even if he’s not here with us anymore?”

Renjun sobs for the first time since the first day the torture starts.

He never cried, not when the managers punished him, not when he sees others getting hurt, not when he treats their wounds, not when he hurts himself because the tears never came, until that moment.

“If only he knew huh? But I guess we can’t let him know we failed him, epically too” that was the last thing he heard before he feels the slightly younger male drift into sleep, a hand still on his bandaged thigh. 

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him”