Save Us {NCT Dream}

Day 38 pt 1

Haechan swayed and grip on the railings on the stairs, he’s so dead tired from being in two active units. How does Mark do this?

Well, Mark didn’t have three assholes abusing him is one he guessed. His stomach clawed at him with hunger, but the vocalist ignores.

“How are you an idol when you’re so fat?”

“Seriously look in the freaking mirror you ugly shit”

“What visual hole, more like a whole fat ass pig”

“Honestly do you really think fans would love you when you look so freaking hideous?”

Their words still hunt him, their judgement towards his body and skin. It made him see all sorts of mistakes that he was taught that they don’t exist, it made him feel that the number on that scale should go lower.

It made his whole self feel so…...ugly.

He looks over to his other members, even his own eyes are starting to deceive him seeing their perfect slim bodies, their pretty skin tone unlike his ugly tanned one.

He knew he’s going to slip back down that dark and endless hole he got over in trainee years with the help from his hyungs, and most importantly, he knows no one will reach out to help him this time.

He knew he’s doomed when his mind tells him to ignore the food set out for him on the table, he knew he’s utterly fucked when no one stopped despite the fact he wasn’t hiding it at all.

He definitely knew the red sirens are blaring when he puked out all the contends of his stomach when he’s forced to eat with 127.

And he knew there’s no helping him anymore when he grew addicted to the feeling of seeing the number drop lower and lower each time he weights himself.

“Haechan we get it you’re struggling, but guess what? We all are” Yuta snapped that particular day, they had to repeat the song again without even entering the chorus.

Haechan who sat down to breathe because his body seem to spare no energy for him to even fucking breathe. His pants are harsh and heavy under the huge hood that covered his whole head.

 It was so hard to even just get his stupid lungs to work like a normal functioning human being, but is he even normal anymore?

With his body trembling from head to toe, back aching because the manager oh so thinks it’s his turn, the wounds from Dream dance practice stinging. And the best part is, they can’t see that.

It felt like dying, but how does something that’s already dead can be dying?

Johnny sighs in frustration followed with the leader, Dooyoung, Jaehyun and Jungwoo glaring at him, Taeil completely unreadable with Winwin. Mark who still has some sense to him goes to help him up, but Haechan politely shook his head in refusal.

If there’s anyone in this room that can tell right away there’s something obviously wrong going on with him, it’s Mark.

“You know Mark had it worse and still does excellent right? Get a grip, Dream practice ended early” Yeah cuz Chenle and Jaemin blacked out towards the end, Jeno was nearly needed to be rushed to the hospital and Renjun is forced to handle the situation.

But all the pain decorating his body couldn’t compare to the pain that he was compared. They actually compared him, to Mark who is basically the epitome definition of per-freaking-fection.

And Taeyong let it slide, as if he deserved it.

“Hyung, that went too far” Mark says to Jaehyun