4am / side of the road / stay alive / he sang
I remember when we were kids. You took me to the carnival. Us only being 10 to 8 were only interested in getting the fishes. We tried to get the rings in the bottle. I spend all my nickels. You put a whole dollar on the table. " Mason," I cried, " Don't do it." Mason shook his head. " It has to be done." To basic summaries the memory, you got me the fish. We placed it in your room since we mostly spend time there.
About seven years later I'm still sleeping here. The man who won the prize lays before me. " The fish was never the prize," Mason told me, "darling you were the prize."
I try to wake him up, " Mason," I whispered, " Wake up." He slowly opens his eye. " what time is it." "It's 4 in the morning" his whispered to him. " Why did you wake me up so early in the morning?" "My stomach hurts so much," I complained. He sat up and put his hand on my stomach. "Well, at least you're not pregnant." "Mason." I said while putting his hand on mine. " I'll get some medicine from a CVS," Mason smiled, " do you want to come?" He put the biggest smile on my face.
I put on my jacket. "Mason," I said while putting my hand through the sleeves.
"Yes darling?" He says while lighting a cigarette.
"Don't forget your jacket." I waddle up to him.
"Okay babe," he says after puffing a cloud of black smoke. We walk out the door and a huge slap of cold air came out.
I was holding Mason hand.
"If your stomach feels better maybe we can out to eat.
"Really baby?" I smiled. Before he could answer me he got a call.
"I'm going to answer this darling," he said, " keep walking with out me." I nodded my head. I kept walking to the nearest CVS. What's that? The side of my eye caught something. I found a fish in the side of the road, an orange fish, a gold fish. I walk on to the street, "wow a goldfish!" I whispered to myself. I picked it up. I made sure there was water in my hand so that he could breathe. He was hoping in my hand, "aww, he's happy." I mumbled. Everything turns bright. I hear Mason yell my name, "Elijah!" He screamed while running my way, " Truck!"
I turned over only to see a truck, than everything went black.
I don't know what going on. The ground is shaking a lot. I can hear Mason yell. "Is he going to be okay," he says. Is he crying? What's wrong?
" Its most likely he has injury to the spine can causes spinal shock," the doctor said, "This will drop his blood pressure low enough to... maybe kill him."
I heard Mason sobbing. "It's okay to be alright, it's going to be alright," he keeping saying but how is everything alright when I can't even open my eyes.
"Before we do any test we want to warn you he very likely to have injured his spinal cord, which means he does have the ability to walk."
"Just keep him alive," he replied, I can tell he was scared. I could tell because he holding my hand, he's shaking.
The doctors told Mason I was blessed. The worst that had happened is that I broke my legs. One of my arms, legs, neck all tucked in a warm cast. I remember Mason running up to me when I first woke up. I asked him what would he do have done if I had to be in a wheel chair.
"I wouldn't care," he replied, "As long as you are alive, I don't care." "What happen to the fish" I asked him. I'm afraid that he died after I was hit but the truck.
" What do you mean?" Mason really did care. "Never mind," I shook my head.
After all that the doctors came to evaluate my pain.
"Red being the worst and yellow being okay," he told me. I really don't feel any pain. But if I answer yellow Mason think I'm lying. I already caused enough pain.
"Orange," I said, "I just feel orange." Mason held my hand.
"Red or yellow," the doctor said impatiently.
"It's okay," Mason looked in my eyes, "tell them how you feel." Oh no, how do I feel. I've always just copied what people would feel. What do people do. To be honest with everyone, I don't really get angry, exited, or anything for that matter. Just with Mason, I feel things. He makes me feel things. Love, sadness, pain, and confused. I can feel them all. But I don't know what to feel about the cast. Is it cool or is this sad?
After everything was over be returned home after 2 days of the hospital. Mason had one hand on the wheel and one in my hand.
"Mason, put both hands on the wheel," I reminded him. I saw Mason smile, I missed it.
"There's no way I'm letting go of your hand," I saw his eyes water, " what if I lost you?" The tears began to fall.
"Why are you crying?" I wanted to wipe his tears but I was in a whole cast. At least one of my hands was okay.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't cry in front of you."
The car ride was quite, I could see Jacobs pain. I just felt hallow. After we pulled up to the apartment Jacob had to carry me up the stairs. He always smells amazing, sometimes when I feel lonely I spray it all over me. He gets so mad when I do.
"I can smell your cologne," I said. Mason chuckled, "Take the whole damn bottle."
"No..!" I dragged on. Mason just laughed. I loved that.
Finally home. I hated the hospital, too much question. Now the only problem was this dang cast. I could tell Mason didn't like the cast. He wanted to hug me and hold me but it's almost like there's a wall. There's always a wall.
"Mason," Mason put down on the bed, "Can I asked you..." I was cut off from a call.
"Sorry baby, I got to take this." I look around the bed. This bed would warm if he was here, it's cold. Sometimes it's hard for me to get up in the morning, I just feel a emptiness. Jacob is really the only thing that brings me happiness. When he's gone I feel cold, almost not even there.
Mason always gets calls from work. He runs a very successful business which is pretty impressive for a 23 year old. The thing that sucks it that he's stuck with me. Many cute girls will try to get with him in front of me. I really don't know what to do in those situations. Sometimes I wish would leave me so he could be happy. With some hot brown hair super model. I bet she wouldn't be in a cast.
"Elijah," he drag out my name, "guess what?" I was far off in my own thought before him sitting on the bed. I held his hand with the my arm that wasn't in a cast.
"You'll be able to take off your cast in a while." I don't have the heart to tell him that it doesn't matter to me.
"Oh," I replied. Mason smiles ear to ear, held on to me and plunge into the bed.
"Mason that hurts," I laughed. That was actually really fun. Mason kissed my head and tucked it in his chest.
"Sh,Sh, baby," Mason sang. Sometimes Mason sings me to sleep. He makes sure my position is comfortable and proceed to sing with his chocolate voice.
After awhile of Mason singing I can't keep my eyes open. His voice, his smell, him. I feel his hand running through my curls. He kissed my head again. His warm lip pressed against my nappy hair. He's the closest to heaven I got and I don't even deserve it. I dose into a deep sleep.
Sometimes I wake up from nightmares. I feel cold , sweaty, and just terrified to go back to sleep. It's always the same dream, me trying to get Masons fish. One time in my dream I got the fish but I ate him. I could feel him moving in my tummy. Mason yelled at me, I was terrified because the real Mason would never yell. The real Mason sweet, kind, and loves me. Mason would never yell at me, right?
I woke up from Mason calling my name, "Elijah, Elijah," come eat. I could believe Mason was cooking. I usually cooked all the meals but since I'm in a cast I can't.
At the table Mason talked about going to check in on his business, "stay safe darling," he told me, "don't open the door from anybody unless I call you and say you can." I nodded my head.
"Bye babe," he kissed me and left off. I wish he would kiss longer, he thinks I can't handle it. In the past I would try to get him to stay home a little longer but it won't work.
"Elijah," he laughed, "sex should be the last thing on your mind," he would joke.
I understand they were jokes, I understand he was busy, "but I'm grown," I reassured him. Mason would just laugh. Later he would pin me down and start kissing me. I loved when he did that.
